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he asked me,
"have you ever been depressed"
I mentally laugh because "been" like past tense.
but I answer yes confidently as I had beat the little pest.
I asked him the same and he said yes but not any more,
and in awe I ask "how did you stop?"
he talked about it so easily,
but I struggle so hard.
He said he just knew he had to do it for him,
and instead of hope,
I felt pain,
as depression tucked me in.
The one fear I had, when I was 13 was "when will this ever end". five years later its starting to sink in. maybe its not depression, its me.
Its been 30 minutes,
were eating at the kitchen counter,
but were both watching the cake,
that chocolate cake that he loved.
I wonder how long it will stay there?
One day passed, then two,
I came home on the third,
and it wasn't there anymore.
Some how it felt like the day you left.
Now were at the counter,
staring at the coffee ***,
that we refuse to touch.
His memories crowd this house,
even if he's gone.
Dear step dad- I don't think that title suited you, ever. You've been a mom a friend and most importantly a dad to me. You have helped me through a lot. the last day of your life, I wasn't there, I didn't walk through in the morning and say goodbye. The last week of your life I don't think I said hi once. I walked past and continued. now your bed is empty and the cake is gone. How I wish I could of said good bye
Written in my body,
words not spoken,
I don't know if you need me but I do,
my heart is bending,
last time we spoke you left an echo in my heart that made me cautious,
I have a confession,
hoping you hear me,
wondering if any part of me,
could say something,
give in, say **** it and be loud,
written in my body,
lingering in my heart,
words not spoken,
saying I love you still.
I stay awake restless,
this beast I fight is bold,
his name is longing,
and from the shadows I hear his calling,
the crown is unattainable,
this feeling is unexplainable,
when you let me out of your embrace,
he takes your space
  Dec 2020 Darian Marie Dalton
Traveler
I’m not gonna
Wait for you
I know you been seeing someone new
  I’ll pack my traveling bag
Go for a ride
I’m not gonna let it get me this time

Just let you fade away
All the words you say
Turn the music up go for a ride
I’m not gonna let it get me this time

I don’t wanna be
Somebody’s fool
I’m not gonna beat up your new tool
I’m not gonna get drunk in spite of myself
I’m going to simply move on
To someone else.
Traveler

And so that’s how a traveler does it
The excitement,
the acceptance,
that's what I liked about you.
you didn't judge and alway supported.
and when it came to ***?
You were the best.
You knew what was not said,
but I did too,
so I think this is the end.
I'm tired.
Tired of convincing myself that it was them,
and not me.
Tired of trying to understand their uninterest,
in me.
I'm tired.
Tired of lying to myself,
that one day ill find the one that will,
love me.
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