a sad soul whispers
i wish i never met you
to the demon in the empty room
and it replies
with a voice that flows thick and sweet
almost suffocating
but darling you created me
and it laughs as her tears hit the sheets
and it sounds just like him
you do this to yourself
she can smell his cologne on its breath as it leans closer
he doesn't care and neither do i, no one does
it blinks and it's eyes turn as blue as his
she tries to look away but it grabs her cheeks so she gets one last good look at what she tries to forget
it won't let her forget
he won't let her forget
then it dissipates into the lonely space
but the weight never leaves the air

s.s

don't leave.
my pain in your heart will not last forever.
i will love you so greatly that the touch of the sun on your cheek will make you forget.
even if it's for a moment,
lets forget.
close your eyes and imagine yourself happy,
imagine yourself in a meadow of flowers and love.
i promise you the world isn't dark.
put all your worry and sadness onto my shoulders if it's too much.
i would give the world to see you happy again,
to you smiling so much your cheeks hurt.
so
please don't leave.
the sky is beautiful and when it's your time, you'll become a star in it
but it's not your time right now.
you should be here,
they need you here,
i need you here.
there will be light again,
even if it's for a few days.
it'll remind you how colorful and wonderful this world is with you in it.
one day,
through all the bruises and scars,
you'll wake up and be happy you did.
please don't leave.

i should have taken it as sign
when you told me
you hated poetry
not because
i need you to like
everything i like
or i need you to appreciate
everything i appreciate
but because
when i told you
what it felt like for me
to write poetry
and to read poetry
the feeling of being
grounded and understood
all at once
the feeling of
having somewhere to escape to
and finding a home
you still told me
you hated poetry

Mother,

I feel I should apologize
After hearing horror stories
of womb to street stories
I realize
You're not the monster of the world
You are just the monster
of my world
No less deadly,
just only to me.
You're harmless as a fly to the rest.
You've never run home
with needles full of ******,
sorry Kay.
But many times
you have sashayed home
with sharpened words
ready to rip apart my flesh.
You didn't abandon me in the dark
and make me scavenge for food
before men in suits took me away
...I'm really sorry Kay.
But often you ignored my pleas for help,
as I begged you to save me from myself.

But now we're here,
and I'm still the victim
       your victim.
Yet, I want to apologize to you, and I'm sorry
for believing you were a monster
when you never deserved that title either.
You're just a bully.
And I'm sorry I let you get to me.

Regards,
Given Name

My demons are watching
My heart is stopping
I lay away
Confused
But not amused

My family is watching
My body becomes sweat
I lay away
Scared
But not aware
To me
There is no difference

I wrote something once
It wasn't a poem, a song, or even free verse.
Somehow chronos gave way to chrios
And I wondered
Can I think about my thoughts
Without using
Any
Of the
Thoughts
That created the original thoughts
It wasn't a poem and I wasn't a writer.
It was..
We were..
Something else.

to the monster inside my head
i forgive you for those things you said
i was the one who hurt me most
i was the one who hurt me first

to the monster inside my head
why can't you be my friend instead
you've been with me since i was young
you'll be with me after i'm gone

to the monster inside my head
today's the day i'll find you dead
i'll lay some flowers upon your grave
and when you're silent i'll know i'm safe

to the monster inside my head
i've chosen to be happy instead
i'll love myself and i'll live well
i'll say goodbye and leave this hell

to the monster inside my head
may you find some peace instead

What if
I had fallen to my knees
On the cold parking lot concrete
Tears washing over my cheeks
And cries no one should ever have to hear
Bellowing out from beneath my ribs
Screaming at the sky
Looking up at your face
Forcing you
(and everyone else)
To see me in this godforsaken state
Of absolute chaos
Heartbreak
In it's rawest form
What if I had begged you to stay?
What if I'd told you I can't do this without you?
What if I'd told you how much I needed you
What if I did anything other than fighting back the tears
Maybe for myself, maybe for you,
Mostly for the crowd of people gathering
Saying their goodbyes
Anxiously looking around to bear witness to everyone else's reactions
And I didn't want to be that girl
That girl who falls to the ground
Kicking and screaming and crying and begging
But what if I was?
What if I was any girl other than the one I pretended to be that day
The one that held her tongue and kept her mouth shut because she knew the second she opened it to speak she would sob
The one that wrapped her arms around you for the last time,
and the one that let go
The one that couldn't bear to watch you walk away
So she kissed you goodbye
Got back in the car
And drove home
What if i wasn't that girl who didnt allow herself to completely fall apart until she was alone in the privacy of her own home?
What if instead I'd made a scene,
Doing what everything inside me so desperately wanted to
Grabbing hold of your hand and refusing to let go
Losing the facade of confidence
The charade of strength
But I'm not that girl
And I never will be
So each and every time you leave
I kiss you goodbye
I unclench my fists and retract my anchors
I untether my heart from it's human home
And I put on a brave face
Maybe for myself, maybe for you,
Or maybe
For that girl.

Armor clad, the blue knight sits alone
wondering why no one calls back

'Sure there's a dragon, but that doesn't stop them from picking up the phone once in a while!’

'Don't you think I have my own “dragons” to deal with?!’
cries the blue knight

'I know you said you don't need any saving,’

But

‘you should be grateful I even offered!’

And so the blue knight sulks
waiting to save no one from nothing