Sadness is a badness
A disease of desperate unease
An ugly difficult anomaly
That brings me to my knees

It enters the room
On its own terms
Without a warning
As welcome as germs

Like a kick in the ******
It hurts like hell
Bringing on the confusion
Of words misspelled

I can't ****** help it
What do I do
It grips on so tight
Like a terrier with a chew

A minute, an hour,
A day, sometimes a week
There's no rhyme or reason
For how long I feel bleak

And bleak is how I feel
During the spell
Bleak, numb, disabled
Desperately unwell.

Single, solo
Alone, on my own
Deeper and deeper
Heavy as a stone

I don't want it to happen
Not ever, at all
Like rabies, like syphilis
Like headbutting a wall.

It changes my mind
And the way that I act.
It makes me go silent
I feel like a ****

I cancel appointments
Welch out of dates
Then worry for ages
That I've upset my mates

My pain, my heart ache
Nobody knows
They may have similar
But they don't have my foes

So next time you see me
And I'm not quite myself
Please give me some space
And wish me good health

Please give me some time
To get back to being
To get back to feeling
And hearing and seeing

For when I am happy
My world is amazing
And when I am sad
My world is hell raising

Sadness is a badness
A disease of desperate unease
An ugly difficult anomaly
That brings me to my knees

It's not all been bad.
I have had some fun
I started to surf
when I was young

If ever I was lost
And out of reach
I'd often be found
Down at the beach

My own little sanctuary
Where I could be free
Either sat on the sand
Or out in the sea

I love the ocean
It blows my mind
It's Calming yet dangerous
Misterious yet kind

The energy's magestic
The feeling of joy
Has captured my attention
Since I was a boy.

It's led me to travel
To far distant shores
I've met so many people
Opened so many doors

I've surfed with monkeys in trees
And elephants on the beach
Surrounded by dolphins
And turtles within reach

I've surfed during sunsets
And sun rises as well
Trippy seas and Trippy skies
As if under a spell

I've almost **** myself sometimes
When caught in a gnarly rip
Being dragged out to the big stuff
That aint no ego trip

When you can't see beneath
The deep grey sharky water
And the fish race away
Is it me for the slaughter?

But hang on, there it is
Thank you neptune and peseidon
Look out to the distance
there on the horizon

A little bump
It's coming near
A pulse of swell
It's almost here

I turn around
My stick I straddle
I face the land
And start my paddle

Then suddenly
It lifts me up
Propels me forward
Fills my cup

It makes me feel
so very awake
I jump to my feet
For goodness sake

I'm 100%
Right there in the now
Conjoined with nature
No interest in how

Just doing it because
I'm it's biggest fan
Loving it loving it
because It's there and I can

Already a treat
This gift keeps on giving
I put in a few turns
Life is so worth living

Then the wall gets top heavy,
It's the best feeling ever
Everything goes quiet
It's a sublime endeavour

I'm inside the wave
for a second or two
The green room, The barrel.
Deep in the blue

There's no feeling like it
I can't even explain
Wonderous, breathtaking
It's ******* insane

I pull out of the journey
Can't get any higher
Full of adrenaline
My brain is on fire

Riding those waves
Gives me so much pleasure
I guess like the pirate
Finding the treasure

The greatest way
To improve my emotion
Is to float about
In that big old ocean.

I mostly keep it to my self
Behind the corn flakes, on the shelf
For me It's all about the stealth
The issue of my mental health

Apparently, it's always been
Around my head and in between
But why would I share it with you Irene
Is mine, its for me... Its not your scene

It's only me that struggles and suffers
Hiding my head right under the covers
Doubting myself and scaring off lovers
It's only me, none of the others

Because of that I hide it away
Behind closed doors so they would say
I wish the whole lot would just go away
Then I could continue with my day

But hang on, of course I can make it leave
By wearing my feelings on my sleeve
By shouting about it from the eaves
All I need to do is believe

I could write some poems or even a book
And encourage people to take a good look
I could ask them to hang it on the library hook
Right out the front, Not in the nook

I'll post it on Facebook and all social media
Jesus, it's Depression, not schizophrenia

I'll start next week. That's a good plan
I'll be right in a month. I know that I can
Depression, anxiety I will ban
Then I shall be a bigger man

I mostly keep it to my self
Behind the corn flakes, on the shelf
For me It's all about the stealth
It's the issue of my mental health