just two kids
riddled with anxiety and depression
finding comfort in each other
loving each other
stumbling through life
hoping to make it out
alive

I choose grey markers
I cannot choose colored ones
That would be a lie

a nod of acknowledgement
as you walk past
that's all i get from you now
once you were my everything
now we are merely strangers

where
is the there
that i'm supposed

to get to

i think i've lost the map

I say the thoughts out loud
for that is the only way to end them
to make them disappear

they are the maybes
the unknowns

I am exposed to
the worst parts of my brain

Day in
and day out

Until they go away

There are good bubbles
and there are bad bubbles

the good ones come
at an engagement
a promotion
a finishing

the bad ones
are the ones inside me
all the time

i am drowning in a bathtub
that is far too deep