My head on his chest
Fingers drawing circles around his navel,
"You know how if the moon were any closer
Or any farther away,
Our tides would be outrageous?"
A smile creeps along his lips,
"Mmm-hmm."
"And if this earth were any closer
Or any farther way
From our sun,
We wouldn't have life?"
His "yes" trails off.
"Well, that's like you and I--
If you were any smaller
Or any bigger
We couldn't fit together perfectly like this."
He kisses my forehead
And pulls me closer.

And these dark thoughts haven't left since the cold morning,
The night before I had once again tasted loneliness and his bitter sting,
And the empty dance of sweat and liquor,
The bodies lost in the night's embrace.

I have feared for my life too many times before,
A will to strike my own heart and and leave it bleeding,
I have walked this line again and again,
A mistake made three too many times.

The mistake of thinking anyone could want me,
To strip my soul of all that feels whole for a shot at empty passions,
The choice to throw myself, to be swept away in impossibility,
To believe for one second, that I could be desired.

But I am cracked, never whole, this sick soul lingers,
And I ache for the possibility that to be touched would heal my pain,
But that is no reality, and I know it is surely not mine,
And maybe I just want to feel empty.

If it means not waking up again on that cold morning.

beware when you fall in love
with an artist
be it a painter, a singer, or poet

for the artist will
paint you
with strokes and hues
in shapes of every kind

sing about you
with heartbreak lyrics
and feelings which rhyme

write about you
with the simplest words
and a secret message she wants to say

beware of the artist,
and her love
one wrong move
and you're an artwork in her display

Laughter
Questions
Answers
Apologies.
We knew of these too well..
Understanding
Confusion
Congestion
Control
...Apologies.
G­uilt
Panic
Love?
Lust
Too Strong!
APOLOGIES
TRUTH!
The picture is coming
The gears are turning
The mind is racing
The nose is smelling
The fingers are sensing
The skin is tingling
STOP!
My mind needs sleep
My heart? Dreaming
Your eyes? Seeing
My soul? Clinging
Apologies...
We ARE so sorry,
Love?
Lust?
Panic
Chaos
Apologies.
Too much
Too soon
Too far gone
Too long..
Goodnight.
Apologies.

A soul lost in it's own essence.
A heart grazed by a harsh reality.
A mind that tries to withstand too much.
A spirit that understands longevity.

I keep to my thoughts but they not to me.
A constant battle over spiritual superiority.
I am lost and now I must be found.
Doing this alone no turning back now.