I was okay, I was alright
Until I dared to look into these eyes
Got ****** under, got dried
got lost, got tied
They bit and clawed onto mine
Slowly but suddenly - invaded
convinced, possessed
by that great unknown
I run away from
your mind

It does not hurt
I've grown a protective skin
not a shell at all
But I can't hide that little sting
deep down

I admit my share of the weight
So I worked on it, and landed
to a more luminous place

I am a new woman
it does not hurt I said
Now my eyes have changed
but my brain is essentially the same
And the pain remains

Now I live for me, myself and I
(and who do I fool with that?)
and God I've grown up so much
But sometimes I must admit
my skin and its corrective balm
they break down

it's a bitter victory
over myself
it's an ironic smile
that burst into laughter
between the legs

It's painful it's different
it's saving me,
because they simply won't
And yet the truth is one
And the Sun...
what we all chase

Your jacket
Is so big and warm
It makes me so bold
So calm

Your jacket – my jacket now!
I carry it everywhere I go
A little piece of home

It makes me feel queen
not because it's yours
or mine, but
because we made it

It fits me so well
In a weird, uncommon way
It makes them stare
It makes me bloom instead

Some people frown on my jacket
Because it’s too much for them
I have to look other way,
Never get caught in their jails!

My friends agree: we can’t understand
Fully all of this
But we do see your glee
How you beam when he appears
In your phone screen

And this jacket is somehow my life
Because it makes me feel so nice!
I got used to its comfy touch
Now I can’t just live without!

I pull it out the closet
The power overflows.
It’s a tiny token
That brings me back
To our love

Shaking and certainly not well
on my way to being a good girl
Where on earth
are the stairs to my place?

I want this, I really do
but I cannot swallow the stream of grey
and feel it's good

I can do, but not what they want me to!

Because I can't help being who I am
It's my curse and my blessing
It's what I was running away from,
what I was chasing

It's not laziness
It's not lack of whatever
It's the consciousness that
I have alien brothers

We communicate from afar
Alienated and found,
connoisseurs of what lies
further than your 9 to 5
(specially when you swallow
that ******* line till it ***** you dry.
I could change, but I could die)
We live in the other side
But not so far gone
Health is a lie, when using your words

We are the freaks
I am the freak
I will fit your lines
but be careful
I will slash them when they are mine!
I am a trojan in your house
because you will be my death if I don't rush

Jorge
now we are there
Jorge
how hungry I was then!
Your sweet veiny arms
those wandering brown eyes
those brains, I wanted to drown
in them
your depth, that ****** depth!
You ****** me in because
I wanted to be you, not yours

And now, in fact,
I am not yours at all
because I am a woman of my own
You were beautiful, though.
I always fell for beauty, you know

There are tears breeding from your glee
A rejoicing so big it will get you ripped
and take you away, funnily, from that same fit
Bitterness as a note in your lollipop
Joy overload: you burst you blow.

There is a dark shade stemming from your best days
So much love, and hope, it will explode
There is fear it might be lost!
So much happiness, it overflows, it outgrows
and does a crazy turn

Just friends
no lovers, no one else
An empty bed, a heart full
of the only thing, maybe...

Who's there when things go wrong
who else can you count on
My unstability, my shaky shaky feet
I cannot show you (they say)
you might run away from me...

Friends before anything else
No exes, no lovers, no thing-in-between
Because in the end
Your friends will call out your name
Like a balm, friends will be there
to soothe your heart

K Girl was ditzy and dumb
but that's all her charm!
No dumbness in happiness
Vitality flowing every place

K speaking too much
K in love with Ben
(I never forget those things, girl)
Your happiness is glossy and pink
Like your lipstick cheap

K forgot her friends
because she fell in love
and when they broke up
she drowned in a sea of tarot cards
and I was there, watching her twilight
her writhing to the bright

K, who knows of secrets
never spoken
she can't believe I am that broken
Bumble hustling all over!
lass, you'd be surprised
if you knew the hell I underwent
right since we met

I was set in Stone
but in the way I found love
I found pleasure, I found a lack of fear
taking all of me.

I found sleep, and arousal, grabbing hands, to feel free.

Your arms around me
your hands grabbing me
you're everywhere of me
and I allow you gladly to do it

I can feel you hard - for me
I remain shy - storm in a teacup
I just want to relax, exist, feel
No rushing about what should be

Sweet shyness sweet teenager
opening her eyes like a newborn child
if I could get this spell everyday, I would
Get me a spoonful of you
Put me on a diet of us

And though the devil he soars
for a second he was apart
Can you follow my slow dance? Can you?
If you can't, someone will do.

It's so soft this dance
we are dancing in this sofá
but it is the perfect pace
for my metal legs, my tired feet

It was like an angel showing who I really could be
Your hands all over me
give me fever
I have Little power as a stove
but today you turned me on.

I moaned - Deep, from my throat
You pulled it out from me, I didn't know
We rekindled the flame, the devil felt he was being called
and he destroyed it all somehow

Dishing out burgers
You tell me out of nowhere
that I am slow, and oh that hair
Where do you go? Somewhere you don't know
Somewhere you'd never dare
I simply live as artful as I can make

I am fairy dust
this is how I saved myself from going mad
You have no right to go
and condemn my unholy lamb

Where's my answer, where's my savior
I am 26, scraping through the papers
Scratching at the surface of something big

I will not give up to the man
I only do that in bed!
I could say or save so much but I only saved myself
it's a miracle everyday, you see
and I am geared towards the supernatural
geared towards the real thing

Oh ******* hurt me
and I might listen to you in the end
But you will never prevail
And where's my place
where on Earth?
You ain't them, never forget
But being half human never felt so great

You have no right to attack me
Because I am an alien force
I am odd, oh God
but I am strong
And in the end you'll lose
Because we carry the light
and protect it with our lives

Our love was great
But it cannot stay that way
I gave you everything
But you gave it away

No more air to clear
With fights and what comes after it
Tired of this ****
Love does not ache, but it became daily death
For me

You drive me back here - everything at stake
I really didn't wish this, but you like it this way
I never wanted it to end - but
You are generating pain I can't digest

Poetry! She came back
The moment I kicked you out
You had my heart, but you crush it merciless
You crush it with duties and excuses
You crush me most weekends...

I love you to death, but there is a pressure in my chest
Long dreary mornings, sleeping without rest.
I feel so weak but I am tired of carrying the blame.
If I am weak, we could carry both the weight.
I feel so sick, laying nervous in my bed.
I give you my everything, but you refuse to engage
So now it's time I push you away.

And how to handle this - hurting you I never wish
How you will make me feel sorry for your problems
And guilty that I have them
What to do?! What to do!
So hard being the surgeon again
When I buried my scalpel for death
So hard being the cold surgeon with tears in her face
But I can't live this way

And if finally it doesnt break
You will have to follow my game
You will have to show
That you care

What the **** do I do here?
Surrounded by kids
Feeling strangely at home
but I can't belong
I was born much before

You like my Melanie Martinez attire
and gravitate towards me
(it makes me feel shy)
You're so beautiful - you poor fools
so new, just like me, Sleeping Beauty on a spree
Here's my tip - stay hungry, dear
Your endless comments, your strive to be free
I don't know where you all are. You're growing up.
I hope you all are getting some. I hope you come.

These evenings I painted the world
Artist grey beret and you crazy kids all around
And I was silent, hearing you talk
I did not know what to do, but it was good
enough to make me stay

Allow no simmering down of your universe
You're boiling, do it forever, kids

**** love! ****** that prudish *****
But you can't **** love
because it is the core
You need to restrain it
so it can flow

****** love!
Banish that ugly word
You need time to explore
And you don't need Valentines
or flowers or candy hearts
unless they melt to a hot touch
But the beasts howl at the other side...
...The beasts of misled lust and endless rides
(no, you misled goody two shoes, again, you lied!)
No such thing as too long a ride!
Just a hooking one, a toxic kind
One that binds you, and gives you nothing back

The beasts of too many things inside
The beasts always outnumber the nice
But the nice shines brighter than all that

So, **** love
let it fly free
such was its design
such beauty it is

And love says,
"you can't ****** me"
you feel it in your hands
you can't just slay this
**** the creation, **** the crippling monster
that maims and kills!
but not the thirst
You had to **** love first
so it could spring
And every now and then
the twisting begins...
be aware! be sharp! be quick!
Let love live! You know what it means

Kisses that sting
Go deeper than the skin

I wanted to leave you
But there's a catch
You've done this more than once
You used your army of love
You've stung me more than once
With kisses and water for my thirst
All the kisses that sting...

All the kisses that men use
To get things from you
And they leave their mark
Not only in your neck but on the heart
Get an instant reaction
Calm down your insatisfaction
Feeding on starvation
Feeding on you...

Those kisses hold me hostage
They take me to heaven and further
They turn me on
and I'm a fiery stove
A wave rolling at an ocean deep,
breaking in the shore

Are you a stinger
Are you a bee in love?
I must break from your honey kiss
So I can be free without

Why am I so thrilled
to begin this journey without your kiss?
This kissless journey for you and me

My alien fellow traveler
you are lost, I showed you were so
Grab my friendly hand
-it reaches no longer
in the inside of your pants-
let's walk, let's walk

You make me somewhat high
when I am low
but I will help you
if I just can
no matter what!

You are sick, and broken,
and about to find something
You will swim the oceans to find
what you need
This is new - I want to see it be
You shine a light on me
But not as bright as him
I saw better days

You said can't take it no more
I bled a stream of painful love
Who's gonna save me from?

Only Matti and Klem there
To sing to my pain
Lull it to hibernate
(I am breaking free,
but it hurts, you see)

Imagination going wild
so sweetly, so casually
When they grab each other on stage
this girl boils and forgets

Getting deep into hell
You pushed me to the pit
burning there because I sin
You left me here
Why did you do that to me?
Only Klem and Matti understand
appease the gush of blood

Only Klem and Matti
to spice up the scene
of my broken days
they did leave at last
but I will always remember
what they did for me:
entertain me and anesthetize me
so I could undergo this hit
Eyes fully open, but it doesn't ache
Hands on deck, but enjoying the place

Know the enemy
it's you, it's them
It's a fakeness
You can't shake
It's a lack of space
It's being okay
while chronically tired
Tense

He is you
You are him
All of you - concocted here
At least your eyes are pretty

Let's erase all the pseudopoetry
let's stay within reality
(which is true poetry)

Know the enemy
How to defy him?
SO MUCH PAIN!!
Can pills or tea take it away -

She has a core
A focus, her focus is real
But her focus is gone
Her focus violently said No
Her meaning went off

She hasn't been ripped
She's a vacant impulse
Her focus is dislocated
how wrong
How sad to see her heart!

Her focus won't come back
It hurts, it hurts, it hurts
Love opens doors and closes them behind
Her focus won't let her be
She frantically fights, advices not to love too much
because she did
She puts up with my glory and feeds me still
Because her glory is gone,
When your focus points to a dead end street
I can feel you girl, your tragedy of love
When the meaning is gone,
And you chase the sun desperately
But the sun is not enough
The sun doesn't shine as bright
The sun is dimmed, simply not calling out your name
The sun lacks something, you run away
And everything is pointless today, even the sun rays

What do you know of life
the way I live it?

What do you know of us,
to open your mouth and talk? Like that.

What do you know about
Binds, bonds
How love goes and grows
You silly teenager, never fell in love!
You are older than I but you know not more.
You don’t know my mind, at all.
Neither his.
You make me shake. Stir up pain and doubt in me.

What do you know about life
and the aftermaths?
I read poems and you are not in them
I hear your words in no place.
What do you know about
love - that lovely disease
spreading through the body
and not your weekend flirts!
Life looks empty through these eyes.
Please interfere not with my heart.

These words cannot aspire to tell
the world contained inside my chest

What do you know about life
The way I live it?
The way we live it?
Shut up.

This is the last day of the summer
Buses don't arrive on time.
I dance on the stop, thoughts going wild.
People are out and about.
You fan your hands to cool it off
Does that match your soul?
I can't help but feeling this day
has a meaning, a sense

My life didn't turn out so bad in the end
Here I am, can't believe I made it.
Last day of summer - a promise and a death
Something's filling, thickening the air
So light with anticipation, with peace, with
not knowing what comes next
yet knowing also it will indeed be great

We all have grown
The wheel moves, like it or not
And we celebrate our million aches
with milkshake and games
Am I in the right path? It all crosses my mind
The demons want me back
and I am still deciding how to cope with that

Last day of summer
because pool season might come to an end
but inside
the Sun will reign
a spare time not to forget
let's rush back but never ever
fail the shot again

I am a late bloomer
So try to understand me
Don't condescend: I am fully grown
but there's a reason for my being slow

I drowned my head below the water
And I lost touch with the surface
Getting away from reality? Nah, I was having nightmares
I was clinging to my own ruins, my own distorted answers
I slept for years, I closed the window of my dreams
Said, "I'll obey, I will stop being"
Said nothing, I could not speak

And I find myself at 26
living so quick
-but life has no notion of this,
life simply is-
don't blame me,
I used to be in a coma
deep anguishing godful nights
I did wrong trying to do right

I am a late bloomer
but I was too big to bloom in the spring
Was I a too majestic flower to be
(I don't think so, unless majestic
equals weird)
Was I simply crumbling from stiff
Was I simply a woman, with the mind of a kid?

I am a late bloomer
but who gives a ****
not me, I am too busy
doing all I did not
doing all I never thought

Laugh, laugh, laugh.
The only point of this tragedy
is to be laughing at it

One day you are up
next day you're down
no point in crying about it
just laugh on!
with wonder
with acceptance
because this life
is an endless, sometimes sick
joke

laugh
till tears come out of your eyes
till you overwrite
your pain with a smile
and the sad grin is there
but that's another reason to laugh!
the irony of being alive

laugh
because about tomorrow
no one knows much
I might be high
I might be not

Poetry, I feel you, everywhere.
But I am lazy, lately, to write.
I would never force the love we have.
Just wait for me, like no one else will do.
You are patient. You always help.

I want to shake so bad
But I feel dead inside
I want to feel the world in me
But I broke down so this is it

It hurts, it hurts, it hurts
When you love, you love, you love so much
A love perched in the heart
yearning to extend, but trapped inside

I knew life, it was ours.
I will fight, till I lose control.
I will die, doing this
I will catch back, catch up
Just let me relax

And sometimes it comes my way
and I smile, I feel, I shake
You showed me your own kind of fairy tale
But I am a punk and I ripped it to death
The Sun did; I just allowed him to do his sacred deed

This is life, you know
So different from what you've been taught.
It is the best, and sometimes the worse.
Full of ecstasy and pain, and ups, and downs.
A ride to not forget, for sure.
Prettier than right, righter than law.
Law written by tyrannic mores!

This is life, not what you were told
so
try your best, forget about the rest
drown in it, till you're whole
most of all, have a ball

I missed the beat for years
I had to find my own feet
to then move to it
The cheerful, the moving
-life itself-
I kept myself away
And how to make up for the wasted years
I have an alibi - I was about to break
if not already burst
now I see the sun
But no tears - now it's my time
now I will shine
now my waiting is done
Stayed inside, always inside
Rejected life as a motto
Now the beat intoxicates my soul
Now I can't stop
I rode this, I won't let go

Life rolls on like waves
too peaceful, lull me, babe
I will put down the pen
I will write with stardust,
over my days

I lost my voice, somehow
because I lost my heart
I am the same, but I am lost

Life without you
is high and dizzy
a rollercoaster to live it

I am strolling through
and I don't know what I do
I fall for guys I barely know
in my bed alone I come

Life without you
is uncertainty!
Here we are
waiting for the sun to dawn
on us

Life without you
will carry us somewhere
this wait will be over
How you coping without me?
Are you as gone as I can be?

Sometimes the days just roll over like waves!
Calm, carefree,  but secretly connected
Filled with hope, with a quiet trust
Sometimes life treats you well
Better not to ask and better not to care much

And here comes the pain!
The turbulence and violent rain
A rain that does not wash but stain
But...
The waves, washed it away.

The sunny days!
It is just a moment that lasts forever
The occasional turbulence can't wear it out
The hundred accidents that disturb
My ocean's peace
Can't really break what we built
Can't really take away what's within.

It was thrilling
You were my heart's true desire
All I needed to come alive
But you crushed it
Mercilessly
And I ate the crumbled cake
and got high on it
It saved my life
It was sweet nonetheless

And I flew to a different destination
And you lost my year long devotion
But you know, nothing ever dies
Not even you and I
I have to learn to live with this
Resisting desire,
the aftermath of what once was
But nothing ever dissappears
If you dare to dig
The key - to a happy or unhappy fate
Everything I live, I lived it back then
(and I'm ****** to this!)

She's a little *****
with a big deep hole in her chest
to fill
to feel
more broken every day that exists

People like to watch her fall
It makes nice art but it can corrode
She's corroding in her own hell
Sometimes, she corrodes in love
hard to distinguish both

She destroys because she's destroyed
She aches and this is all she spreads
This unflattering vision of me - can I take?
And the men that pass through her hands
are the sign she's anything but right

Coming back home - but where's home?
Home is such a scam, but I am
So dramatically lost
Love is such an elusive charm
She murders love - but collateral harm

But this won't take much longer
I've got a hand in my pocket...
give me some time to standby
while working full throttle, full drive
take some distance
the pain is going to make me blackout

Take the little ***** to London
put her in the plane with her friends
take the little ***** somewhere else
she needs an ear - a kind of help
a get away

Little girl, little girl
It aches merely to think of this song
About the man that sewed all your heart holes
It distorts you inside

You’re 23 but you’re such a newbie
To fall for him like this
You’re 23 but still full of naivety

Little girl, little girl
That from the beginning he means everything to you
and you mean something to him
but something’s not everything

Little girl, little girl
That he didn’t care to hurt you at all
But you are aching
Hanging on a whatsapp message
Or anything from him

Little girl, little girl
That fell so hard so high from
He became an obsession
He got in your brain wires
To death…

Little girl, little girl
He’s not what you expected
What high hopes for someone so low
It was fun in his bed
Till you lost your mind
Little girl, little girl
Fighting against yourself…

Little girl
You are a bit more older today

Shuffling men like one shuffles fate
Really has no type of sense
but a lot of meaning there

She's just a little lost cheater
She gets high on the thrill of the hunt
She's clueless but she conceals it good
as well as she can do

This is an ugly move
This is something not cool
This red thread around my neck
Giving me hope and anxiety and chills
Strangling me with a kiss

I am cheating on you.
Can you say you haven't been there too?
Our million emotional affairs
That dragged down what we felt
This pain...this love so close to death

Truth shines but truth is schizophrenic and elusive like me
I just see omens coming clean, my helplessness cleaning up the mess

And I want none of them.
I could love them - I could learn
But I'd be still who I am
I'd still be myself
With all my stars and all of my hell.
So I would rather learn
the routes of my maps and pathways

Such a heavy feel, such a heavy sensation
the first day I met you!

Then it got strange
the demons started howling around
The demons who never went away,
maybe

Ah, the days in the mall
Feeling you all
A smile in my lips
water flowing underneath

But I'm *******
Am I?

No poems today - no more thinking about what he said
or what he meant
I thought this was over - but ah, the little threats!
I'll dive into the waters, take a dip into what matters
Dissolve my shattered

That fear eating up my guts
stripping it from its bright stars
Making me gasp, for nothing at all
Making me doubt, making me fall
That thing that you don't care 'bout me
that fear that other side I don't want to see
That feeling in the chest - so bleak, so bleak
That high spirit that leads you to misery

Girl just remember
You catch a glimpse - mark your mistake
it has to catch you, not the other way
Magic will save you, this laid back rhythm you learnt
Do not drop your man, but never drop the pen.

Girl just remember
you two have come really far
Do not overthink it much;
because overthinkers do not know the names of stars.

He is hot and ***** and menacing
like the naked flame of sexuality
But ah, the girl has cravings
He is dangerous and a threat, maybe
A few ***** dreams to fulfill
But ah, the girl played with him

He might be filthy, in fact
A love affair so low, so black
like Lo and Humbert on the car
She is confused but not abused
Very different things, these two
Try to make her a victim
she refused

She is fatherless
She killed him before he could **** her
So Daddy comes to save the day
She has a hole in her heart
He drinks from her fountain
of youth, of blood

And they go around, they dream on
Sad sad dream by wire
Giving both of them life
Her parents would choke and so would
his wife

She didn't die and he didn't ****.
They simply carried on with their lives.
Now they chat on Signal like old friends
with a past to hide, both of them

My friends say "this is your place"
it's like I was born remotely
I feel at ease, strangely, here

Holding you, Amy, I feel you close in the air
like you were the only one who understands
all the pain
I'm going through these days
all my tricks, my tears, my men
yet you stay beautiful in your hell
it's an art - we know it well

In Camden everything fits
these colourful expensive shoes
art bursting in any available inch
the everlasting rain, watches the scene

London! I need to drown in you again
I washed myself in the Thames
London! You are not my hometown
but you left a sweet dent in my heart

To meet you at a different time
To make it sweeter than last
not running away anymore
living in the home of love

Running wild around the airport at 6 o'clock
Dad drove me here and he hasn't asked a thing
about who I **** or who I kiss
this is -definitely- God's gift!

He has wrote me as well
do you want someone to take you there
his kiss feels sweet in my thoughts
but to him I don't belong

Look at this string of songs
to heaven, back, and below
All your hopes, all your dreams crushed
Springing blooming despite it all

Drawing doodling thinking writing in the plane
in this glittery notebook containing my brains
about how so good does me so wrong
About unwanted pregnancies and spiralling out of control
But I can put it away, for once
(because no one's taking away my fun)

And I have two men so
I can't decide in this mess
so I am hitching a ride
I am getting away
from my life
so it can ring back
from afar

And in Camden Town I come alive
I do fit in this place, like Amy did in time
-Amy I can't feel your tears now,
I am so high, so high can't come down-

British breakfast, with hash browns
Bumbling around and secrets unveiled abound
Buying stuff we don't need but sure we want
This is it, I don't need more

And those small moments make up the whole
London bridge is good but not as much
as my friend's voices and anecdotes
as my short skirt and my passing thoughts
London, I will never forget
how you came and what you were
I need to get back there - with my new bag
full of ****** and no regrets
I wanted to get away, and I did
sweet coming back after the retirement
sweet, sweet everything

Dramatically altered and changed
I am the same but oh, never again
Hell strikes back - what am I to do?
Bring back this state - its good fruits

I can witness my old pain
it doesn't look the same
the mirrors do reflect
but anyway I see myself...

[I saw it clear, dear
I (we) can't stay here
Maybe I was so high
but only high I think right]

Pick my pieces from the floor
make sense of this mess
that has rearranged my heart
this blurry epiphany I've had
looked through by London's eyes

I saw a flickering bright light!
Just a second - enough because so much shine!
an omen that -maybe- things were right
I saw a luminary
I have to process and think
but it's an apparition
I can't let go to just dissappear

Because it never was perfect at all
but this is how perfect was born

And London is an escape
London is a hiding place
where you confront reality
in trippy, playful new ways

My smile was true and wide
no pain, just enjoying the ride
why it can't be like that all the time?
Perched on worries melting to the Sun

Because it never was perfect at all
but this is how perfect was born.

Loneliness - I carved you with my hand
And life made you to my size
I wasn't even aware of it
I hate you, I love you to death

My life is an empty notebook
A few names written by chance
That I never really invited there
People that bypassed hell

People that were with me
although I was not with them
Too much **** going on in my head
back then

But I do know it's not simply luck
as nothing really is
You are getting engraved like stone
With the rocking rhythm of the years.
(like the sea)

And I wish to break the spell
but it's not easy
being a cupcake amoeba
plus a tube of pills

Loneliness, I bred it on my own
But it's not my fault
I know the answer, not very well
but
it's not the way it was

Loneliness - or rather aloneness
you are the way I am
Aloneness - but
Loneliness - kick you away

Loneliness, darkness, I held you tightly for years
Lived under your thumb so happily (I used to think)
you are life as well as you are sure death
I come back to you in the absence of something else
I want to run away but you're always close
You disguise yourself, or you simply morph...
I hide in my isolation, no one trespasses home
They'll never understand, I will never understand
I try frantically to fit but I can't
Got too lost in my head
that I cannot share

And without you I have nothing
I return back to where I really am
You're my only wire that really is
You're my free
If I could (enroscarme) in you
and just be

(I feel like I am sinking
frantically trying to breathe
I can, I can,
but today the years
go backwards for me)

I tried to refloat the boat
But maybe it's wrong
-Maybe it harbors no sense at all-
For a minute, everything glowed
But I am lonely, and I want it to stop
Do I? Is it a part of my bones?

And i wither in the prison
But ah, you broke through the door
When the loneliness hits when i'm far from home
Your love, your love, your love,
not without
a glimpse of fear, of fear, of fear.

My jaw breaks
and so does my soul
I tried so hard, so hard
Only I saved myself
by getting lost in the maze

Take me away from hell
Was I a born outcast
or just bad luck?)

Look at her - she's such a freak!
She sees things you never do
She lives in a world apart from you
She's the wasted kid, the little *****,
the unorthodox thought, the troubled one

Look at her! She ***** with guys twice her age
(and she's not sorry she still does)
Look at her! She's such a punk little strain
Hers is a truly tangled up brain
But she got up, she got out of what you had to say
And now she flies, or at least she always tries

Turned to stone fighting when she was young
No more, no more
At me you could never stare,
I am what you dread

She's the obstacle, your shadow girl
All she does defies what you just have said
And I can't help it, it's the way I am
The more I grow, I grow apart
I am not asking you to be me
I simply ask you as always just let me be
But you'll get rage again
Still I have to face
we are each other's challenge
can you survive myself
can I survive you too

Look at us - here we are
with your girl and my man and stuff
we never thought we would make it this far
at least I did not ever think
my life would be this
I always thought I would sink

Look at us - our Rubicon
no more drugs, no more broken hearts
in our very own way
hitch a ride
Look at us - with a smile
and a sensation that things always turn out to be what they are

I am getting ready for the loss
with my earphones
Diving on sound
to protect my heart
Sad songs abound
So I don't fall, I don't fall
I don't drop too high
So I cry inside
For what we lost
No pain because I've got song

The beat carries me
to a gloomy paradise
where I don't hide
where things are broken
and mended somehow.

It hurts less
but it hurts the same
To lose your soul
yet
be able to write out of it
Reconciling pain
I wish this wasn't the case

And I fall down the comfortable spiral
Protection against the tidal
I might be wrong but ah! Gotta be careful
with my heart
and my mind
Not to make it the canvas
of my life

We are lost, everything will be lost
Our love - cut to death with the secrets I hold

You're pulling away from me, I see
You are getting lost in the night
You are wandering out there but not with me
I am just a time filler
But you won't tell me anything

The light shines brighter when it's dark
And so it's happening with us
I had a future for me filled with us
The light always shines brighter when you drown
I had no idea what was going to be, honestly
But death wasn't an option for me
But it is crawling towards me...

Show me a way
Through your touch
Show me a way
I can't see the way out
I cling to you
True love once found.

I did not come but I saw the world
Gotta know so called love won't get you far
But maybe it's the only way out
of this hell where I am now
Lost in the airport, waiting to arrive home

How to push my head out of this smothering hole
or is it a womb?
Oh God carry me to my destination.
I am tired of being here lost in the airport.
Lost in my thoughts.

I did not come but I saw the world
and I saw my sad attempts, my getting lost

Can't wait to kiss you
Can't wait to get over this

The fear that ****** me down
I can see the puzzle falling into place
all of my dysfunction, all the maze

How to run away from the smothering embrace
of all those things that want to take LOVE'S place
hiding themselves, in fancy clothes and paillettes

So much **** to work on
I don't even want to look at
But running away forwards, backwards
never helped anyone

Lost link
yesterday
it hurts

Being so close
to touching heaven
then falling from...
and the anxiety to get it

it works the most
when not trying at all

And I am amazed at you
but this is not the way to do

But it is rooted in things
in all the strain
in all my disordered thoughts
I saw honey there
so I ran scared

I see the issues
and they hurt
but it's needed to see through

So I will have to destroy the roots
carefully
carelessly

Learn slowly
this is the way
You've never been full
your always half empty cup
Now you are
In a new land

Engrave this on your skin,
Your insides
And everywhere you need,
keep it with you, never forget this:
Love is not anxious.
Love wins.

Love is not that anxiety,
That tight chest, that maddened thought
Emotional nightmares
and much much worse
That bitter breeding brooding thing
That you need to **** but first it has to sting

Love
It's joy and peace
It is waking up with a smile
in your lips

Love waits because he’s sure he’s there
He is so undeniable he needs nothing else
Love is not sickly, love does not ache
Love – the balm for everyday

Love is our eyes. Our hands. This happiness
Filling me from inside.

Love is not a competition,
Love does not keep track of the blame,
because love simply knows no stress.
Love is effortless care.
Do not ask for more. Do not ask for less.
Love is always there.

And I’ve got this thing inside
That tells me “look at the other side”
Look at his faults, fill my head with doubt
and like a sudden sky to a sudden blizzard
when the vision comes, it all clears up

Love is those jeans
that fit you perfect, at home,
when no one sees,
but you're at your most.
Love goes beyond all you are supposed
to know

Love does not obsess. Yet it does not stop me
because I can't help
Thinking about you, wondering when
We’ll be close
Again
And that’s not a sin. That’s not a fail.

I love you
It's all calm inside
But there's a dormant beast
In my guts
Is it yours? Is it mine, love?

Love and aggression
Loving you with a shade of rage
Loving you and telling you to ******* next
I try to put it to sleep
But it rages, it weeps
That sullen loving
Snapping at...anything?
The pain that I have loved you and maybe you don't
My anger is only proportional to my love
That "borderline" hue, in my soul
If I am not appealing you can send me off!
*******, you coward! My only heart
My sweet home

Love in the 21st century
is not for the faint of heart
men hoard at my sides
I have to watch them go

Sell yourself,
read the signals
be strong,
learn to find in the chaos
a little bit of sweet love

Love in the 21st century
looks like a fight for the fittest
only they'll survive
the rest we are underachievers

And in the amidst of my disorders
find you standing taller
maybe as a door to open
the one who ignited me

He touched me and I overflowed
The hottest was the less expected
But he won't call me again
Because love in the 21st century
is tough, is hard, is not for everyone
How you used me, fooled me, entertained me
how long have you been planning this
Love is not enough
in the 21st century