Love is the biggest risk we run
But like the air, if we do not breathe
we die
Love is the only thing that will save us
from the cold fire
Love is scary - you are shaking in fear
at the sight of thirsty fullness
at the sight of Everything

The heart is wide
and big and wild!
You can't put doors to it
You can't tame its force
And that's the best
and that's the worse
But you can cut out the weeds
stopping its growth
You have to live with this Godly curse
Love is the thing, dear
But not the Word

She's a love ******
She can't dissociate
She loves, or either she breaks

She got freed a darkened day
But she always gets carried away
with some thing that she shouldn't crave
She knows the truth, she knows it well
But others can't help but differ instead

She's a ******
for thrills and chills
She bleeds...
Can you get free little girl
You are on your way there
You have walls to break - but so do they

Oh love where do you hide
why are you so elusive
calling out my name loud all the while?

You catch me tight
and never fully grab my hand
Sad because he could not
give me what I want

Where do you lie my fellow tortured soul
Do you cry at night, do you struggle to belong
Where are you my lost one
my bedroom God
my tiny pleasure, my great rock

You will not laugh at my poems and my ache
You will not be my shrink - we will laugh the pain away

He saved me once and I saved myself
But we could not be, I could not stay
I am floating away...
Tears gather in my skull
Where are you love? You're like a dead limb
You're not here, but I feel your loss

Sad because I lost it again
And I fear what comes next
My well of pain and doubt,
my treadmill - do I need to stop?
I can't give up -
Time, time, time
ticks away like a bomb
My needs they dissolve but never fully gone

You had to leave
I had to let you go of me

And both of them wave me goodbye
And I wave goodbye back. It hurts.
But this is also release
Could not live on the edge of the blade
endlessly
And whatever comes I embrace
now I know things well.

Death is not the end
death is the forethought of life
PS: You are number one, you blow my mind.

Love killed us
Love fed us
Love won't take us
We'll have to hitch a ride

Love never hurt us
but the word stood in the way
I stood on my pain

But the fear is always there
more than pleasure, it's a safe space
Love killed me, it killed everything
that ******* word, obliterating realities
Obstructing the Sun!

Yet love is the only thing we know
all comes from that source
we forgot true love
we got caught up on regulations
on feminist analysis and stuff
on measures and canalizations
forgot the raw fountain of love
now he throws me a ball
to my own thoughts
I am killing myself
only now I am aware
Girls, girls, girls took me away
I took myself away.

(Mom does not know a thing
Mom she never did
I am a ****** to her eyes, the ****** queen
with a thread of men in my dreams
Mom does not suspect, the pain
can she see through me?)

Know you're hurt inside
We all try to survive
We try to get along with life, put people in our ride
What am I to you, what have you been to me?
Everything

I trust life a lot - got nothing more
I see the signs in the roads
they speak worlds
Everything speaks at once
And it's way too much

You're a wounded child
******* with anyone you find
You love me in your own twisted way
And I love you with my characteristic strength:
obsessing, but also giving myself

Are you the bandage
no, you're more than a simple passage
a passage zone - that just maybe

Sometimes I envision the future
I can feel your hot kiss
The caress that he would never give
You could save me
you could take me away from here
but first I need to save myself
first I need to be my own agency

I am trapped on him
he doesn't let go of me
not even in my bed
he spreads all over my dreams
like plague, like spring

But slowly you're creeping in
Still, it's all about him
I hope you do,
I hope he decides quick

Are you the balm
you're beautiful God you are!
you turn me on so much
but I've got a lovely limp
he cut my feet
he restrained my limbs
and I am happily gagged
while he roams around without me
But I can't live like this

Are you the key
tarot cards can't help me now
let's take it to the park
let's take it to our dreams
Blue eyes against hot glasses.
Spring against scorching dangerous summer.
Climate change!
"A lot of love, a lot of blood", she said
You're not a bandage
but maybe you should be happy
to cauterize the wound so good

You've got me lovescared
Can't take the nightmare
off me
Where once I was so deeply attracted
Now it's anxiety a bit

You've got me lovescared
I am like bleach
Two hurt souls to mend each other
no good
but
My bleach smells good, like the promise of eternity
and brings all the men to my yard!
My worshippers...
the depth of your feelings for me
the cuteness of what you plant in me
Go my way, so I don't realize
what we are making
they call it love
and loving you
I can go on

lovesick girl you will find a home
freedom is soft and freedom is tough
lovesick girl forget what you’ve been taught
burn the wedding dress, set fire to your soul
jump into this pool of strange love!
this gift that leaves you sore
open, born

Why do I need to reality check
My dad put it clear: I never think with my head
Laid in my bed think about the words we said
Scraping for answers to appease the void within
This void that I dig...

I tried to cope maybe that's it
But coping with me - it can be the hardest thing!
It wasn't a problem but slowly it grew
I miss you baby but I don't really know what to do
I break slowly without you

Can we swim the waves that life creates, hand in hand
If I cannot do it with you, then I give up
Desperate Winehouse lady wandering the town
I wonder can we do it - course we can
Maybe I am hungry for you
But I'm disordered too

I start concocting strange kinds of tales
You can't feel them you can't grab them but they do leave a trace
To feel you pull away it feels like hell
A million questions dropped by the bully in my head
I still haven't solved the mist on myself
I love you so dearly but every now and then
I get love sick again...
(I just don't want to change)

Now the levels in my blood are alright - so I will fight
they are stable and I don't feel as bad
And love is still a sweet escape from war
I drive myself mad but hell, you still are

My clouds do not let me see sometimes
I misinterpret something and I'm undone
But now it's clear, sometimes it does shine
and I can't deny
your love is real

I am standing on the way of my dreams
I am standing on the way to me
of who I really am meant to be
If everything unreal, I will cling to the bliss

Our Universe ain't perfect but it's all good
Get rid of the brain fleas, there's nothing to fear
Let's fly as far as we can
Let's hold each other's hand

I saw the tower which grown tall
Fall down, fall down
And my father making things hard
everything dies, this I know right
and running to the refuge of my friends
because I have lost myself
I saw my insecurities adding up
to the pain I nursed inside

And today I could not forget
all the things you said
And you weren't there today.
And I have been here before
so I go into the archive ways of my heart
I can't help but never forget
and I dig my own grave once more
They create a hurt inside
And all of a sudden, I was high,
surprise!

High on thoughts of leaving
High on a way I could not fight
High seeing a world without you
My friends and me, talking online.
And I saw the jigsaw fit
But I was high, could I see?
I am an empty vessel without you. Am I?
It wasn't the spell of freedom
but the spell of rushing
Rushing things. A rush in my blood.
Quicker than I thought.
But watch:
wave pain goodbye.
wave fight goodbye.
wave life goodbye.

I am drowning in doubt
in anger, in tears, in words
They come to my head, but ah
why does the pain make you high?
Can we survive the tide?
The tide of our honesty.
This is going to break us in two.
Love opens a hole, you are no longer whole.

This is low energy happiness
This is mush smile
This is killing time
I am hurting myself
to stay alive
Where's the fever I felt?
Gone astray - I cry
I am not real anymore

I remember these days
in a hurtful sun
Made of bricks and lost dreams
While not aware of it
Who rot them?

His voice is the only ray of light
His beauty pervades it all - my **** angel
I can't reach it - it's at hand but my hand
slips
my brain - twitch, twitch

I am happy but something's amiss
it is the hole left by your kiss
or the struggle and the bliss

Will I have to live a life on hugs?
I've already been there - it doesn't pay off
While yearning for the true love -
I am in the other side of my brain
how can I get out?

I know more than I did
but still as lost as I've been
I think

Dead inside - but with a smile

Mad loving girl, can you take?
Am I made to stay here - till the end
I wanna be picked up some day
But my metal legs - they pull people away

I came out of the ward yesterday
I want to drown in your eyes - all the time
I want to see the bright city lights
which were nothing but fireflies

And I am already obsessed
and I'm already such a mess
I will always be myself
this is my curse, but I'm also blessed
Haven't I learnt?

Because I met you in the twilight
and the twilight became my life
Now the Sun does not illuminate anymore
Now something gone wrong

Just take tiny steps
learn to control your inner stress

Sitting in my room.
Wondering about God.
Watching the bomb tick away.
To something I don't know.

You are all stupid, you all are useless.
Seeking light, then ending in your mind's dull jam,
your septic-clean sty.
You all are closing yourself to the World
None of you I will befriend - Satan or God
I will hold his hand.
I will go on living till I die.
And only then, I will close my eyes.
My life - a testament to revise
if I have to say my last goodbye...

"I saved myself". I did, but I could have never done it, without It
And the time I spend thinking about it, the further I lie from It
My mind crafts this -
I need to befriend it, whoever it is
In the face of fear, we start worshipping odd things
Life is the supreme
Life does always win, if you let it trespass your door
and fill your heart
Death is a tragedy. To whom does it belong?
Satan or God - you are not what I was told

Make-believe beauty - for bad times
the madwoman is not the mad one
Is it creation - or is it just *****? Sacred ***** then

I am a madwoman and this room is my attic.
I couldn't come last night - so I am crying
I will hold his hand, and His too
or Hers, for the universe lies in me too.

You were sitting on your chair
Raving about a song by Air, “when I was high on M”
And then…a spectrum came
and you were more yourself
than you are when you are fully yourself
I could feel you creep all over my hand, and your lips, biting me
So contained, so strong, so blowing my mind
A ghostly presence and I held my breath
something so raw, something pure in the air
You and that music were just one…
It took you, sent you to another world…
But which spectrum was this? Hers or mine?
Was it my effect or the reminder of hers?
It’s the magic of the possessed
Those times you are not yourself
but something HIGHER…

I've got too many sensations to write them down
they flutter around me, they are so loud

I was a Bonsai girl - severed and shaped by your love
I forgot who I was - addicted to your drugs
I need to grow - once again
Will I get trapped? In my own wild foliage
Nothing holds me back - not you, not I
So sweet your bed - but I need something else

The doors are wide open - I just can't say no
I should have done this much before
Day 0 will save us all

Manless! Because I can
There is calmness, human connection, warmth!
There is a world apart from ***
There is a world less rough over there
Rite of passage passed - I am sane
Let me lose my mind again
I was not alone all this time - and I don't need a man
A new era opens its jaws - I go all for it now

Mariana, how are you?
I left you at 13 and now I come back
Mariana, you died because I killed you
but it wasn't me, but the pain I was put through

Mariana let me kiss you
And tell you things are going to be okay
You committed the mistake
to hide instead of burning the bridge
with desire to fly from this ******* grey thing

Mariana, you burnt your skirt and danced
and I died instead
Now you take the wheel
and it's for keeps
it's for dreams
Mariana hello there
Mariana goodbye
Mariana stay

Mariana had everything a girl could wish for
Her parents approved it and she smiled
Her friends said for once it was right
Everything easy - the waters still
Everything in place, where it should be
Her lover kissed her everytime
but she can't put her soul when she does
2 meters tall and blue eyed
A breathing fantasy - but something's amiss
Mariana always felt this
Mariana had the perfect life
But she has the perfect twist

But Mariana has a yearning inside
A blaze devouring her guts
making her burn in desire
All of this is a lie
She's missing the fix from his brown eyes

Mariana had already done this before
But this time she feels so unwrong
Mariana has already broke up
with everything in the world
but this time she'll shoot for keeps
this time she doesn't get killed

Mariana said STOP
Suddenly, so abrupt
I want to get off this bus
Because she's got something best
This is not what I want
I am merely trying to get along
Mariana burnt the house down
in pure joy to exist

Everyone was so shocked
She saw the light
she had been trying to look the other way
but you can't run away
from the promises desire makes

And now Mariana is on the road
and she's home
her soul is free and some say she's gone
but she does not care
beauty hit her in the face
and that's something she can't refuse

María says I am such a special one
so original so individual
so sparkly so peculiar
she reads me and it's been two days
is she an angel? my ****** brain says
Giving me money instead of manna
And doing so with a smile

María speaks a lot
says I am an assertive gal
When she puts the finger in my wounds
it gets hard to talk
When she says there must be a root to all this
I think, can she really see?

María sees all but she doesn't see at all
she doesn't know the foremath
she doesn't know the full extent
she hasn't seen the wounds in my arm
she hasn't seen the mist or my fall
who really cares?

You don't know how hard it has been

Oh, God, you hurt me so much
Saturdays spent in tears all alone
My mom watching me and me watching the phone
My mom saying, "you have to cut this down"

And I did - and I slept in the belly of the beast
I burnt for nights of desire deep
I got high on Hatari, men, and my own ****
I slept for two months, widely asleep

Mini messages that feel maximized and meaning all
Starving every day with a tense chest
Feeling delayed, if at all only merely checked
Everything feels like a pulsating alert
My emotional poverty that you fed
You thought you loved me - well...
you probably did not

Was it really love? What the **** did I go through?
I still don't know
maybe I never will
you planted a seed
but the seed was me sprouting
you sprinkled me
but the power was all the time within
how to get it back
well I don't have to try

May it looks hectic and hellish
May is rotten away
May is a triumph of love against world's face
But oh, the battle
May - pain
Fading from black to grey
And back again.

A crown of thorns
May tastes sour, bitter
A bad thought! A new doubt!
Why does it come

I make the weather
And the weather makes me too.
Who does who?

The eyes of the world are a strain
They increase and excite my inner pain
But I have come to see
that once again
the problem is somehow me

May is going to be hard
But let's trust each other's hand
Let's trust the flow that nourished us so far

I always see a problem come
but never see happiness when it does
I am attuned to disaster

A hiatus - not really
we'll live in the margins
but we will live
though

Feeling wet - again
It was you! Not him
Trying to seek you in him - many men
To cover, smother your lips with new water
One man right after the other
Life happens
Ran away from you
Ran away only from me

Something feels wrong - with you
Something feels worse - without you
I know I want you when you are away
Only then I know you must stay
My clarity from your deep waters
Shines bright

He gave me love, and I gave it back to him
But he's no you, he'll never be

I dance a steady, dizzy, confusing dance
between one and the other man
One I love to death, too much for me to take
My brain naturally expels all kinds of happiness
The other is more alive, so he's dead
He's not filled
like you

Everything leaves a mark upon my skin
Every arousal, every kiss
Every piece of love or not in me

late nights at your job
******* ****
on my polka dot dress
(we both loved it so)
taking photographs of graffiti
on these proletarian walls
our first pizza and some of our first kisses
you look so **** on camera
and even sexier now dear
I wish I could ******* here
your shy hand on mine
a rising sun, a rising sun
all of this takes me somewhere
and I know this was the right way

Do not fall into mama's lap
Bite the hand as soon as you can
At least, don't cut your limbs to merely exist
Confront, explore, resist.

Do not take my word
because I'm only deeply hurt
that's what I try to get across
that you should hit the road
as soon as you can walk

Do not follow my dreary path
that only lately I could patch up
stay away from those holy demons
which are nothing but a Sunday evening
watching TV movies unaware you're rotting
unaware you're drowning
gagged - choking on homeostasis and noise
dying - because you survived

If I die will you still be with me?
I really don't wish to be
But the grey is coming back at me

All my fluency - lost
All I've gained - somehow gone
How to stop

Blanked out by the grey
but I need to focus on the bright
how to do that

I guess the solution might be easy
but anyway I miss it
I miss its warmth
But we are not nearly gone at all

But we'll learn, we'll walk
and our love will grow
I hope

What do you think there is further?
What kind of milk and honey lies there -
what paradise do I expect?
Can't you see things for real?
You're running away
Again

Icelandic men with lips full open
Surprises that I can sense but not know
No duties for a wandering soul!
Nights of riot and pleasure, days with the Sun
the feeling that I'm on the right road
to a destination of my own

I have no idea where those things are
but it is like an imperative right now
I've got to carry on

And I'd lie if I said I'm not afraid
but I found myself in love so
what could I do, then?

And I'd lie if I said I do like things this way
but it's my life, **** it, and it's not gonna change

And I'd lie if I said I do not get your stance
but have you ever tried to see mine for yourself once?

I see the other side
I see the grass
and it's not greener, just not what you said it was

A virus infected our home already
in the shape of your paranoia
and my thirst to run steady
this place is hell,
but as fast as I can I'll run away

Photographs of a time past
Things that I've overcome - or they are far
Hell's passed, hell's done
Heaven lied there, hidden all the time
I can see it clear - and it gives me peace
My past is seen with new-old eyes
Everything fits, at last!

Now I lived it, I can sing it
The pain left a scar, so I caress it with my hand
The pain is gone - but always leaves a track
Photographs that come to my mind
of what is, what it was

Minutes of pregnancy
Siouxsie can't placate me
I'm wandering in the darkness...
in the underbelly of life
scared of my own body,
now I understand the strife...the fear inside

I didn't fear it
but it is here!
I could laugh at it
until I see it coming straight at me...
and nothing is fun anymore

"I'll be the pregnant punk girl at class,
Another brick in my strange life.
I'll be worrying until I see what's up"

Minutes of pregnancy,
minutes in hell.
It was the darkest shade,
that I would be a mother,
so much shame over me,
the little girl that got eaten by the wolves and her worms,
the worms of her cobwebs, long, long cobwebs.
I know I am a hysterical child,
moved only by my own terrors.
What will I do? I ask, worried, to anyone who wants to hear me.

Will you be with me?
Will you hold my hand?
Or leave me there to bleed?
Is mom right about this?

My most feared performance...

Shapeless soul candy beautiful boy
You're hot, no need to be coy
So why am I calling you boy?

Blue eyed man
I know you got tired of who I am.

but

Meet me at the threshold
of our worlds
Who shot me? I am losing blood
take me
where aliens escape to earth
I tasted human water
now spacey air no longer fed

You live at the border
between madness and light
you peek inside
and you found me there

And I found you there
your blue eyes and your entrancing touch
dark **** nights at parks!
you are a gift I was given now
now I know how love feels
now I know how wholeness must be!
not inadequacy and dysfunction
(not all the **** I took from him)
now I know how warm it must be
when you just can grab what you wish
a melting sweet in your palm
grab it while it's cold

You are beautiful
you are shapeless too
it's one of the reasons
why you're so good

You are shapeless because you need nothing else
no enhancements because you're yourself
I paint you in my brain this way

Kiss me goodbye
or kiss me hello
keep me in your heart
I will do so
even if I could not be enough

Shapeless guy
Miracle in Bumble
A dream to hold close
Though, he is probably gone

I've been through mock hell.
I will never ever forget.
It wasn't real, but it could have been
All the anguish that I've seen

I saw the Devil - once
but I've been in hell - several times
how black my world looked
how much **** you put me through

And i've learnt something different in this trip
Fake but so ******* real to me
About philosophical knots
entangled with needs of the heart.
About needs of men and women - sacred like stars
about death, about life and heavy laws
and poisoned with rotten judgement and weights cast from above
Unresolved doubts. No one holds the truth.
Not me. But not you!
Was it me? Was it you?
Too much - did I ever chew?
Too much - did I settle for?
What to do? Hard, hard to know.

And now the blood be dropping (between my legs)
And my mind got back on its rails.
But God does really put things out there,
to show you sides of the game.
hey *******,
I've been through mock hell
and it was enough
to see y'all face.

I've got a ******* in my bed
I've got a therapist for my wretched head
I want to get away from my parents
but the money does not help
I give good head too, lovers say
(and I am always at the brink of telling it the way it is
or hiding to never be seen)
But I've got my heart broken instead

Polyamory crosses my brain sometimes
to rip out my guts and solve my own life
I am wild as ****: give me a hot kiss that will calm me down!
And I will become your housewife, and will I rot?

I was bullied at 13
and I wrote my heart out because of it
I like girls because I can't run away from
their beautiful **** and forms
but in the end
it's a man's weight I yearn

I am a modern girl, I guess.
I can't help being but myself
A daughter of my time
There are tears and there are pain
There is love and not much hate
Despite all I've seen and felt
There is a hole and a thirst in my veins
And calmness after the rain
always, always there

I am a modern girl
I walk along the city with my girls
and I spend way too much time in the internet
Life rolls like waves
And I have to ride all of them.

Life is a moment
a flickering of the headlights
Then it's darkness
although sometimes

the light takes hold of the scene
only if you let it be

So much darkness, so much black
Ah, those moments so bright

If you live there
don't panic, don't fret
just wait for the lights
from night to day

Learn to discern
moments
Be your full self
Whatever it takes.

Got blackened with fear
while I tried hard
to focus on your kiss
but the thing is
you have to fly free,
life is an imperative,
and you must listen to it

healed in my sleep
with your love filled
healed by peace
I want to catch it,
once I did

I know - it's all my mind's scheme
but it will lead me somewhere
and I hope it's far away from here
far from yesterday's ****

Moody girl,
worries too much
machete in hand
through the mental mush!
a tangle of fears and doubts

"it's not out of nowhere;
it's all out of my own head"

But you love me either way
so I have nothing left to say
I am as lucky as I am moody

Her brain throws darts,
that get stuck in her heart.
She cries, she cries, she cries,
and next minute, she smiles

Moody girl
I know I am crazy but
that was a liberating fact

But you love me either way
so there's nothing left to say
If we love each other, nothing else matters
Take your moody girl home - shake her sulk off
Give her some love - she gives you her whole

I open myself
to the gift of your touch
We shake, the breeze of God blows on us
We came!
Those minor sweet steaming hours of our ***
Where we would first burn and blaze
****, kiss, devour each other like no tomorrow there
and then lay to rest
in each other's chest
Your body against mine - my favorite place on Earth
The body is aroused as well as the heart
it soars above common ground and aims to the clouds
(in fact it stays there, in your arms)
You are a quick acting drug, never having enough

But truth lies here
Truth slips from your fingers
But you can read the marks it left
in your palms

These sweaty mornings hiding from the rain
Winter and summer were for us all the same
Cookies sweetened with your hands on my body -
but here comes the strain
I keep coming here -mind the wordplay-
but you're floating away
*** that distills into a noisy silence in my brain
The afterwards air - "you don't want me there"
You are distracted, you don't ******* care
Every kiss leaves me hungrier than the first
It's an anxiety I can't put away
I am growing nervous, out of myself
I feel used and abused, but I love you too
My face sinks and my soul drowns
I gave you all, all, all
So nice to explode
It was all I had but you pushed it away
I gave you all my glory and my pain
Yet I know I've known the highest layers of
sky very well
These mornings we could read our names.

I won't ever forget
even if it's mourned and buried
Our love, the things we did
so thick, so big
I shed tears while writing this
But I know well
I will be kissing him.
I know well
I've spent too much time alone
and too much noise still
in my petite head when it comes to this
But it was so intense
it blew me away
so I had to take the pen
and write an elegy
a celebration
of the fire we were
are we?

Several orbits in my life
We all are different but under the same sign
We are trying to find a path
We are moving - avoiding disaster
but avoiding lack of action...
We all are changing - we are fighting
blossoming, blooming, getting to be something
We are rushing towards life
The suicidal approach, but the only way out...
or is it the other way around?

We are shaking, shaky our grounds
There has not been a better moment in our lives
Everything's moving! On fire!
Settling by vibrations
This time I'm not wrong - I'm merely moving on...
away from your spot, on my own.
but you are securing yourself
with tacks and nails...

Because
he, he's got a girl
And I've been with men
one of them broke my heart but that's okay
I'm dumping my past
I'm writing poems in my study hours

She, she was crippled yesterday
But now the light caresses her face
The medicated folks, the disabled ones
We are marching, in our own, too.

And he, he's moving somewhere
and he's not certain about that place
but it won't stop us from going there
whatever, wherever
that road leads...

And she's hidden in her cocoon
because she cannot kick out her blues
but she's part too of the struggle,
the movement!!

Everything's moving!

Words came back to me
what does it mean?
The solution is in black and white
The truth I cannot touch

I became a mute, speaking the language of
flesh
Nothing left to say
I became a mute back in the day
No words needed, for there was no pain
I could not take
But now I speak again, now I'm back home
(Is home where you been born?
Am I daughter of hell
or just got there by fate)

But now I have a pile of poems
and impressions
in absence of something better
Poetry is always the remedy
but first, there must be a bruise

This too shall pass
and we'll rejoice in the sun

Take out that one - she's a bore
she's a beast hiding in mother's words
I never needed her, not anymore
She gives pain to those I love
She's misbegotten - she has squinty eyes
but claims to see for miles

That girl ain't me
So I have to kick her out
She messes with my fun
She breaks my heart by sparing me hurt
**** her - I'm done with her stuff

We want freedom
We want equality
Equality to work! Equality to rock!
Equality to be -you dread it- ******! If you like the word
It's my pride - to be what you deny

Give me my feminism
But don't take the fun from me
Give me all that feminism
but don't take the spark from me
If it doesn't make me high, it's not it

Don't get inside my bed
and tell me to be a good girl!
Burn all your Gods
Heaven or earthly bound
No one ever tells me who to ****!

You all think you know much! But you don't know at all
Freedom is the aim! Freed from everything
We want men to be our friends, in and outside our bed
We don't need you, righteous people!
We don't need you, voice of reason!

Freedom to show my body, freedom to decide
Give us those rights, give us life
To fully explore and become people not stuff
Don't ever let us fall
down the rabbit hole
of their clonic boring mores

Right to get respect
for all we are, "no more sectioning of the self"
choosing between my two halves and picking the wildest one
What if I like to be a little naughty imp
when I am with him?

Right to be ourselves
not less
We are for real, we are here
So swallow back all that ****
I want my rights
Not laws about my lower parts

Your words touch me today in a very moving way.
Your words make me fly, I am close to crying.
You give me life.
When I hear you talk about your girlfriend, and about the ways of love
You make better poetry than I will ever do.
You, in fact, sound like an enlightened version of me.
Is it gone? Just wait and see...do not be detoured
by the demons within - trust me, they exist
Because we are not poets, we are just photographers.
With words, catching glimpses of the divine world

And that old Humbert told me today, that you need to live
to see how it is; of course you can't even try
if you live by wire
And I was also close to tears; so much beauty in this.
And that South African brother speaks to my heart,
and he doesn't even try! He is always there, with a helping hand.
And you whisper the life: without you I am lost
My everything, your world.
Who needs a Bible, or oracles, that stuff
when you have friends like I

You were my only man
The only one that ever loved me for who I am
You didn't care about none of my holes and scars
Maybe you watch them from afar

My only man, my only man
that would kiss me and touch me
anywhere we'd find
My only man, my only man
who loved me with his flesh and my bones
even through wire

My only man, he'll be missed
because no one loves like him
his love is not from this world
his love is no ordinary thing

My only man, he's gone
I kicked him out - the waves, they roar
they cannot be when you are here
they cry when you are gone

but the biggest truth of it all
nothing moves me like your love
your love is out of the common, extrasensorial
and earthy as your touch, my touch on you...
your love is not from this world

your love for me would shatter the earth
i am not that blind not to see

My world...you open it
you keep the key
maybe you carved it out of me
out of my heart, my *****, my love

But you...don't own me
So give me back that ******* key

My world...you are not the creator
I am the creator! You are just a trigger!
You are the muse! You can't abuse!
I've got lots of places to go! I don't need your ****!
I can have thousands of them, if I ever want!
I will curl back into my hole, just for comfort
But never more dark, now - a true home

In Nacho's pool
Everything dissolves everything floats
My heart it rests but never at all
Brings me memories from old times
and builds new bridges between us

I feel at the verge of 16! I am afraid
the verge of terror the verge of sin
the most scary **** blacking out whole
But I am not 16 anymore now I'm no toy
I have a heart and a precarious health
and thirst for joy

My lovers how are you all doing today?
You are going to **** me and I am going to **** you too
Sending hot pictures to see what you can do
Reactive feelings sexting in the pool
My blue eyed boy wish I could love you
in fact I do and I cry for you ghostly tears
I hurt although I can't feel
I can feel you pulling away from me
and it's no surprise it was always this thing
But he casts spells on my direction
and I have no protection
I don't want one either, I confess
The times I give in are the best

But what if I am left alone
this is my fear
Without a man I feel I can't go on
Because he's the one
but he has the power to harm
to break me in pieces in case that he wants

And I see all of this in Nacho's pool
My fear, my pain, my hope
My past, my future, my wretched love

Watch a man
use you like a handkerchief
panting like a pig
not saying your name not even once
no sweet words to make it overflow
moving quickly
thinking of himself
barely interested in your soul
he will leave you
with no goodbye at all
he doesn't kiss you at the door
he wanted this from the beginning and you
fell into his arms
like a naive *****

He will call when he feels alone
All he wanted was to taste your hole
the only thing you cannot give him...now
Wait for my shiny new gun

I've been kicked out from my nest
It's been years of delay
While they were clothed and fed
I was fed up instead
But I don't despair
I merely hold their hands
His hands
My hands.

I've been kicked from the nest
But I'll build my own way

This house is no longer mine
My heart doesn't live here
My heart belongs in the streets...
And we are walking away from this

I've been kicked out from my nest
But I can do this well
And the gold will shine
But the Sun'll make us thrive
Who needs bills
having liberty and feet?
To fly, to just be.

If he's dead then why you so afraid
if he's dead then why you shake
if it's dead then why you run away
if it's dead then why all this mess, hey?

You've been caressing your brain
with the nettles of thoughts of him
you don't want the man
you could have sworn
but a part of you still yearns for his touch
his love?

and I have to get away from you!
I see the sun shine when I do
I come in his arms all night through
you're a black spot on my light
but you and I could be sweet
if I knew how to do this

We've crossed the barrier
we've melt the ice
can we do it still
tell me what is the price

I guess I am still confused
but until you came I was so good
I want you, and maybe you do too
But we must wait for the flames
to be consumed
not to give in
we will die if we do it again
(at least I will)

Those flames
that have been set on by fate
and a little help from my friends

Reason never won
but reason is nothing but a beacon
of the light of the heart

and you ask why
this is why!
the walls I erected
were to stay protected

I cannot let you
touch my soul
it seems stupid
but I know

it's a move I don't know where I learnt
the reflex of saving yourself, I guess
the soul wants to exist, nonetheless
and you stand in its way
(no bitterness)

just a realization
of why things are what they are
if we abide, we will survive
lots of bureaucracy and diplomacy
to stay alive
you call me many things,
but you are so ******* blind

I cannot let you win
you say it's not war but for me,
within,
it is

We might love each other
but it's better to stay away
hell ensues, if we dare not to behave
stay away, for peace's sake
stay away, to carry on every day

because
I cannot let you
feel my soul
it seems avoidant
but I know

New ******* the rise
it's the same old but without the bind
Today things went my way: I did not break
I could handle the whole, and the whole was okay.
I smiled the whole day.

I am a woman fracturing her shell
this is something no one did expect
at some point, not even myself
But here I am
Wave goodbye the tears. I've been through this.
The gate opens. I want to take the lead.
It's coming closer, I just can't turn and leave
I won't turn and leave.

You said to me:
The better version of you does not cry every night.
I say: I am deep, I am strong, I am fine! I can!
The better version of you looks into the Sun
and does not go blind! The mist does not blur your eyes!
It's not beauty and it's not true or any good
to dwell on the grim parts, to hold on languidly,
rabidly
to gloom

What's the secret, you'll say?
No secret, shh, it's as easy as it gets
but it can't be spoken, it gets lost
Shh! Tell no one.

To what point am I sick?
I go mad - when I see a chick
on your feed
in your photos
and you behave so relaxed
Is this hurting me bad?
Why now? I don't think so

I'm too accustomed to bitterness, and in happiness,
I ache. It's like a reflex that things gotta go wrong.
I cannot think bright. Why should I?

The nun's dream -teaching contraceptives-
a nightmare to me
The killing drum of biology
Terrible, unavoidable, troubling

(You'll never go through this
so what do you keep spilling ****?
You don't know the pain, the need
this nightmare you'll never live)

I can't believe - this is my life
A shaking fear, and a predictor in my bag
Everything spins, dizzy stomach

Me - a mother
Me - crying, smothered
by the rhythm my body dictates

This is your punishment - you should have never went there
kissed his lips and let him use his hands
You should have never played the sweetest dirtiest game
You should have never said "Yes" to him
You know - this is what happens to bad girls
I say, whispering, to myself
This is the latest doom

And now the sky is clear - with this proof passed
I went through this - another poem, another invisible scar
And now I smile - it was nothing, nothing at all
And now it all seems over -I'm back

I don't think y'all know
Shut your mouth