i
hold
grudges
like
my
mother
&
leave
first
like
my
father.

whycantwekissitbetter

Sometimes I talk about you like you're away on a trip and you're coming back.
Throwing you into casual conversations as if the people I was conversing with felt everything you make me feel.
Pretending they understand the depths of my heart
and how deep you've fallen into it.

But not even I understand the intensity that is you.

Like gravity you pull me back and hold me down.
Trapping me in an illusion of a story never told and never to be told
but forever read in my head.
A never ending dialogue between love and loss, let go and hold on.

A love story.

A tragically beautiful love story.

I was in the wrong place, at the wrong time.
That's what they said.

It got the cat-
         It got me--
*Curiosity

1)
i finally read that book you recommended. i heard your voice in every line
2)
i left the fossett running last night to cut the silence
3)
i still smell your shampoo on my pillow cases
4)
what's the name of that song we discovered on the radio two nights before you left? i need it right now
5)
acceptance is the act of investing in a space heater to keep me warm at night, when i know your legs could do the trick for free
6)
i saw your little cousin in target last week. i never realized how precisely your smiles match
7)
i left the cd you made me, in its case on the floor of my backseat. nick stepped on it and i felt an earth shattering emptiness, like someone died before i had the chance to say goodbye
8)
actually this all kind of feels like someone died before i had the chance to say goodbye
9)
tonight i caught up with some of your friends at starbucks & only thought of you once. does that mean i'm getting better?
10)
missing you occupies so much of my mind that i forget how to sleep most nights