will someone please explain
how goals are to keep you sane
its a set up for failure
it seems so unpure
to have a path the will be destroyed
by yourself or someone else

its all a big circle
success being the end game
but when does the game end
i've rolled the dice enough
to get snake eyes plenty of times

why hang onto hope
when you have nothing to hope for
it'll just happen again & again
failure in your face
so why even risk it anymore

there might be a chance at love
but why would i want that again
when it was just ripped away
away from me in the matter of days
it was a sudden twist of fate
in this game we call life
yet its still a drug to me

i'm still searching for my next fix
but i'm staying distant
not really letting myself feel
or is this normalcy
i've never felt this way before

i miss the days i was high on life
i miss the days when that was my normal
i don't understand how people live like this
i'd rather be insane
than stable with a clear mind.

A sociopath, at last,
my ideas aren't insane.
I have found a match
for my dreaded DNA.
Though it's just one night,
with the stars shining bright.,
I ****** you in my car.
You ****** me in my head
with conversations of life.
How goals are useless,
and love is hopeless.
I don't really care
about that or the fact
my body is totally bare
around someone who doesn't care.
I just ****** you for tonight,
though it's your thoughts with might.
Manic depressive the say,
that's what we are on paper,
but this is normal I say,
to ******* for a night.
It felt so right.

we are deemed the broken ones
with minds gone "crazy."
we are only grateful recipients,
for we see the world in other ways.
we are not faulty humans;
we only have an alternate life.

I'm stuck on you all over again
          at least we never had a bad end.

You made my heart stop
          with your secret thoughts.

I'm writing about you again
          how sad will this end?

days are filled with you
nights are haunted by you
however it's not you i seek
it's myself, not so meek
i'm trying to find that time
when i was more confident
and just a little less bent
i'm looking for a sign
one that means i'm not blind
though that is hard
i've been dealt this cards
a king and queen of different suits
a signal to a life unknown
one filled with ups and downs
one where you're a part of
it wasn't all you
like my head says
i made myself work
even with all of the quirks
so i'll find myself again,
i'm somewhere around this bend
death doesn't have to be the end.

You tried rearranging
all of the puzzle pieces.
It didn't turn out so well.
There were holes, gaping.
There were never pleases,
there was my tell.
I should have stopped you,
I would have had to yell.
This was something you felt
you truly needed to do.
So, I watched over the puzzle.
In search of a way to cope,
I only kept hanging onto hope.
Hope that one day you'd see,
the puzzle pieces were always right.
I did not need rearranging,
after all.