Here I go again
Dubious footsteps
Questionable motives
Perusing the dark and restless past
Changing as perceptions change
And perceptions change with
The tolerance of added years and distance
Creating the uncertainty of honesty
Turn black and white
Into grey elusive shadows
And there
Amidst the darkness of my past
And all my pointless journeys
For the first time ever
I see a small white light
Constant and unblinking
And I am aware deep inside
That this is the long awaited
Birth of peace

                        By Phil Roberts

There's a kid in me that wishes he
Wasn't wearing this old suit
That looks to show the age of old
If only people knew

This thinning skin that holds me in
Also holds this childish mind
If it were let loose what it would do
Is run fast, free, and wild

I'm not thinking that of past regrets
I've loved the life I've lived
I just wish the shape I'm in
Was still that of a kid

It's hard to run, skip, and jump
Acting out the fool
When all adulthood tells you how you should
Follow at the rules

I just want to see this kid in me
Having the best of times
Which was easier to do when this suit was new
Tailored more to this childish mind

As i sat
On a petal
for awhile
I'm glad
Of the world
Wherever i may be

and yet again i find myself at the corner of
emptiness & stuck in the middle of the repetitive Forget-Me-Not's
although i already know the answer
it gets me wondering if you will ever come back
my dog lucky ran away on christmas a few years back
and i remember
because that's the year that I got the call
now i have an irrational fear of telephones
and when it rings
i jump because the day i picked up the phone
i was expecting to hear the opposite
that they didn't find the dog
but they got lucky with you instead
it's been six years
and i'm still not tired of picking flowers.

When I was still young and fresh
A million years ago
I walked on edges
Always on the edge of something
Something wild

Bright lights and long nights
Lots of laughter and music
Always music
Singing with the band
Dodging the flying glass
When fights broke out
Howling to the moon
Oh, wild indeed were we

All shadows now, alas
Visions from an addled brain
Pubs, clubs and smoky dumps
Leave no turn unstoned was the cry
More fun than fundamental
And fundamentally flawed, it was
A couple of hours sleep 'fore the day job
With eye-lids stuck together
And walking into walls
But still I wouldn't have swapped it
For all the strait laced straight faced
Wealth in the world

                                 By Phil Roberts

Find me somewhere
Between
What you say
And what you
Mean.

Find me somewhere
Behind
What you see
And what you
Find.

I am found in the darkest
Spaces
Of what you think and what have you
Within good graces.

You are the sunshine,
And I am the grey.
I am the night time,
And you are the day.

And if I gave what light I have,
To bask in yours endlessly,
I would give it up gratefully,
To be yours entirely.

You said you weren't designed
To be someone's husband
Or someone's father.

And God, I said, me neither.
But didn't it **** me
To know
We will never be
Anything
I have wanted.


F.Z.N

In the high sky
Where the air is weak
And full of strangers
Nothing lives for long
Only gypsy-footed drifters
Come here on their way
To who knows where

And this place can only be reached
Without anchor or rudder
Nor even a moral compass
Riding on clouds of smoke
And it's such a long way down
Through falling-about laughter
And blood in the gutter

                                              By Phil Roberts

Falling from one day into the next
They slowly drag and the nights ache
But I'm used to feeling the cold.
With no direction required
And hopes of salvation long gone
I shall walk calmly through the fire
And simply carry on
I refuse to lose the gypsy within
Old and ****** and ****** if I care
I shall continue to sin and to grin
With new roads to travel to nowhere
Amen

                     By Phil Roberts

I bring hotdogs and turnips to it
gladly sit in the unpopular rows
with people who know their **** stinks,
not those who feel a need to condescend
degrade and comment on others here
I would gladly bring 'tato chips
and nachos and pass on the high brow
caviar some think they are
for you smell
when you judge others
like you are the beginning end and class of the show
when you are just
pretty versions of *******
in better clothes
with store bought words and
stupid wits.