I can smell him on my sheets
      I can taste him in my dreams
             I can still feel every inch where he's touched me
I hear his laughter echoing in the walls
             I can still see him in all these pictures I saved for
           memories

But this bed is bare
My dream's a nightmare
       I can't hear
             His laughter
       He's not near
             Enough to touch
My eyes are blinded by tears
He's killed my senses,  
      I'm no longer aware

Everything around me,  slowly fading away
His face, his scent, his laughter,  his touch
Maybe I'll just pop a few pills and sleep away the day
At least he's in my nightmares, the pain of reality is too much

It's not your time yet.
Not just yet. It will be one
day. But not just yet.

I still look for you
Everywhere
I am looking for myself
Too.

I don't know how to ask you to leave
When at the same time
I want you to stay.

I try to write about you all of the time
I try my best to decipher each feeling
to recover the memories and reignite dead flames
I try to make it all better again my spilling
the colors of my mind on paper
but each time I try
my hand cramps
my mind hits a wall
I am blocked
and to this day I am not sure what stops me
but I promise myself and you
that I will write about you one day
and every locked up emotion
will explode
I will use 26 letters
to express millions of memories
and thousands of thoughts
I promise I will write about you
and I hope you'll read it

Goodbye keeps hurting.
Especially when it comes from your lips.
My whole body aches at the memory of that last goodbye.
But one thing makes it okay.
I know it's not the last goodbye.
I know that for a fact.

You are never home,
only in glimpses,
scarce instances that i live for.
those moments i cherish,
leaving me breathless,
making me certain in love,
but then you are gone.
and i am alone once again,
left to wonder,
were you really there?
or just a figment of my imagination?
like a beautiful dream,
that satisfies the brain
and fulfills the senses,
until morning,
when i awake to reality,
and the bed beside me empty.

clambers thus far, the
small-clawed creature inside of
me now; in dreams said
she misses me, but dreams
are just that. classical
case. eyes untouched. gaze
unmet. notions uniformly
forgotten, or forgetting, at
least. the sun rises, the sun
rises oh, am i warm or just
asleep?