I gave you my seed and my heart
We created someone wonderful
Innocent, void of dark
I haven't forgotten the good times we've had
I, above all, want to be a better dad
I support you for being a good mother to our son
The pain we've inflicted on each other cannot be undone
We still continue to hurt each other
As we keep playing this winnerless game
Our son will end up as the biggest loser
As long as you remain an abuser
We both still have a lot to learn too
The scars of my heart
Will forever burn
Although
I have already forgiven you
You still blame me for everything
Because you refuse to take responsibility
For anything
But a misguided plan
And I wait for the day that you understand
Something, one thing, anything
About me and the feet that have walked this land
Your abuse of my trust and lack of respect
Take away my breath
I've learned a lot from my experience with you
Now I know what not to do
To never let myself again fall in love with someone
like you
Despite our differences
I still want your life to be better
So maybe someday you can be happy
Because you obviously aren't
And that is no life to feed a heart
This you only deserve because you are a good mother to our son
Maybe if you can learn to be a good person to other people as well
You can earn your happiness like a real woman
And maybe
One day you'll forgive me too

I stand in the center of a balance beam,
Between what you want and think I need.
I am lost, still in search of me.
How can I save you?
Your honeyed words in my mind.
Sticky with the memory of your sickly, sweet lies.
You claim love but how can I find,
The truth behind these words, I have tried.
Do you know who I am?
Do you know that I'm lost, still in search of me?
How can I save you?
You smile your broken smile at me still as bright as the sun.
While your eyes tell a story of the hurt that's been done.
And I want to hug you until your smile becomes one,
And kiss your eyes until they see nothing but love.
But you don't know.
You don't know that I'm lost.
Still in search of me.
You don't know that I can't save you.

I wanted to write
about that sweet spot
the lowest part of
a woman's back
where my hand rests
after making love
where I trace my palm
up and down
that same perfect curve
over and over
my favorite place

But here I am again
again and again
full of anxiety
your trespasses
firmly rooted
in my mind
my heart
still can't
understand what
happened to it
so I make this "art"
instead

good grades
   good meals
Good life
  Pretty
Good people around/family
  Good guy whos kinda there for me

Your beauty is unmatched
your essence unscathed
you could wrap me in your curls
and leave me bound for days
The thick bristles on your face
resemble a forest to discovery,
your mouth a cave to explore
lighting the way with electricity
generating from our rapport
Sweeter than a glob of icing
on the last slice of cake—
Your twisted expressions
make my chest quake
You’re a lot to take in—clean cut nails
and pasty speckled skin; the
trail of hair on your belly and
your form soundly sleeping
where our motions had been
Now you are far a fields away
frolicking in colorless grass,
lost and in denial of what
you could have made last.

A life to live, a smile to make
A beauty I have to share
A simple word for someone's sake
Though life seems so unfair

A morning call, a short "hello"
A tap on somebody's back
A simple "yes", instead of "no"
Could be somebody's luck

A simple touch, a goodnight kiss
Could warm a frozen world
A soulful hug, I'll always miss
Surely when I get old

But once this life that I shall pass
Brings me to a peaceful place
I'll face the day, not how it was
But a life that's full of grace.

My dearest child, I thank you
For the strength you gave to me
For the things that I always do
For the world that you made me see


I am woman, now I know
A mother that cares and love
Perhaps if you hadn't come and show
All the flaws are what I have


What really makes a real woman?
If you bear a child for nine months
And rare him to be a strong man
Without thinking of your needs and wants?


It's been so long since I saw you
Like a tiny thing before my eyes
So weak and frail, I never let go
Of the chance that I could see you rise


Look at us now for five years
I am now a proud woman
With you I share my laughter and tears
My little hero, my dearest son


One day you will understand
All things you have to know
In this world just hold my hand
For I will never let you go.

When they first tell you to hold it in, you pretend not to hear,
you shut your eyes and girt your teeth,
you ball your fists and split your skin.

Sharp nails digging into pink flesh
Battered heart taking it's last breath.

Darkness surrounding.
Darkness inside.

When you rise again you let loose, you pretend not to hear,
you stare them in the eyes and let the words out,
you show them the light and you dare not fear.

Truthful words cutting through the life of lies
Still beating heart rising from the dust.

Darkness surrounding.
Darkness outside.

This is a poem
for the boys who've blown
Their chances,
And ended up on the taking end of a cigarette.

A poem
for the girls who picked
the wrong one,
And mouth of their body meets the mouth of the bottle.

A poem
For the outcasts, the loners
Who die everyday from the words of others,
And end at the end of a razor blade.

This is a poem
For anyone who
Hurts, cries, laughs, tries,
Who ended their lives too soon.