You wish
You were broken so
You could be fixed. But sadly
You are enough.
You are so enough and strong and beautiful and
You shouldn't feel so bad about yourself.

We still call the homeplace mom's
Calendar in the kitchen unchanged

Two years past
The old clock ticking

Branches tapping against a window
Iron Mountain through frozen rain

Like a silverback
White along the spine
Cold and silent

Strong against another winter.

r ~ 2/2/15

/
I wanted you to know,
how much you love me
you told me that
division by zero,
and that I have never done
/
@Musfiq us shaleheen

My skin is p a  l e
My body c o ld
     And in my chest lies a broken heart of fools gold
My re alit  y   I  on ce knew is ha z  y    a nd n on exist en  t
It's grown old
     And I'm becoming tired of being bold
And being told right from wrong
      I'm sinking softly down when I don't know how to swim
  Every inch that I further lose from possibility to stay afloat is lessening my want or need for a life boat
    Every breath I attempt to take fills my lungs with ugly pseudonyms and sends me down deeper into my lonesome underpopulated town inhabited only by fragments of once strong relationships that i held so close to me that I c ould n't  b reat h e, the relationships that kept my entire being from sinking in the first place.
   I'm drowning and I can't see what's even in front of me
       I'm a ship bound by anchor to the wrong bad habits of shedding my   blood willingly to bloodthirsty ravenous sharks in the sea of my minds eye
       This was once a safe harbor for the ones I kept close
  The ones that knew what mattered to me and the ones I cherished most
      Now its a sea full of  gh o sts
Of the people I trusted them the most
    I trusted them to not turn on me or use me like a host
And now I'm the one  dro w ning
I' m    so  sca re      d
   Now when I share my harbor it feels so
    U    n    fa    i r
        They don't understand what I risk give to let them be there
It never harbors in their heart as deeply as it does mine
     The possibility of even defining how hard it is to let these ships safely     pass through this harbor will now and forever never be able to escape  my pale numbing lips
    Only silence
Everything here is just riddled with murderous crashing waves
   Any relationship that enters I try so desperately to save
     And in that attempt
  The harbor starts to misbehave
            The waves destroy every boat or anything that floats
  Anything at all to help me cope with being so alone or the feeling of even remotely being at home.
      My fingertips are numb and cold and starting to fold and I can't feel those things I could before
I just want all of this over
N o    m   o re   dro w n    i n          g
All my life boats have sunk
    Now I'm just stuck
     All these hands and graves are grabbing at me and pulling me down        ev ery   whi ch     wa y  at  the
    bott om of the
oce an
u  nd   er

     al l
th e s     e  
    
h e   a     v y


               waves.

i saw an angel up above smiling down on me
she made feel so happy and i felt so free
looking down on me from her heaven up above
from her world of freedom filled with so much love

everything felt peaceful  everything  felt calm
with her lovely smile filled with so much charm
if and when i go i will hold her hand
as the angel guides me through her angel land

A distant look in her eyes,
Stretching beyond the horizon.
A battle long fought,
In her dreams so surreal.
A thousand miles did she walk,
Before pausing to rest.
But the lights began to fade,
For it was time for her sunset.

...is the easiest one to answer.
Cry a little.
Love a lot.
Be a little angry,
Then make peace and move on.

Only look back
To enjoy or to learn.
Kick a little.
Hug a lot.
Look for the little things;

There's a god in every detail,
That never demanded your
Faith in it.
Frown a little.
Laugh a lot.

Remember lovers lost
With kindness and gratitude.
Be critical of your memories;
Choose your luggage
With care.

Some things are worth forgetting.
Let them go.
Look a lot. Taste a lot.
Smell a lot.
Close your eyes and

Listen a lot, to your breath
And that of the world.  
There's a wonderful lack of
Sense that makes perfect sense,
In everything.

There's meaning in it all.
There's meaning in us all.
The meaning of Life?
To never, ever think you need to
Find it.

whipped cream over red-ripe strawberries
a dish-full with a spoon the size of Texas
yes this would be summertime in heaven

come
          sunrise or
                           shame
come the coldest
            days
                          balloons do not float
on dead breezes or smiles
             
nor is honey sweeter without a sting
            
never does freedom come
           without slavery once          rose buds attached to thorns
                              ***** 
blooms of love always end

                             nature
is that plain.

The French
peasant monk,
head bowed,
walks

through the cloister,
carrying two buckets
full with milk
from the farm,

his eyes full
of earth's colour.
I wash
in the cold water

from the icy jug,
the cloister seen
from the window above;
I feel her legs

about me,
bringing me in;
there
in the waters

of her passion,
I nearly drown.
The old monk
allows the bell rope

to rise
through his hands,
then
pulls it down.