I penned a pen bent out of my mind
asylum I seek, and of fetid dreams I reek
silence dreaded, but it seems it's all she can speak..

should have taken my time, but padded cells
they shook us to the core; in our loneliness
we held each other in embrace like no-one
has ever been held before; today I awoke
dizzy; confused, and admitted to another shore
one that swashes in pain; like an ocean of glass
and with each break, her memory shreds my heart like an open sore.

so I slowly begin to wash away the pain,
disaster being; my mind isn't even mine,
and it's always been that way;
even before I realized sanity was just a game
but in the grind of life,
it's a hellish reminder to not have been born very sane.

profusely I beg, and plead; but it's as plain as day,
she's never coming back; so slack, and bleed, and cut as we may;
administer the habitual as I plead and pray--
not to cut too deep; because this life
it's already taken most of me away.

If you faced it, what's left to fear?

the searing sound of harmony
seeping through madness in trembling tears
ringing false scents of roses
like men ****** to breathing jaded air
and everything that's been has crowded thoughts
of plagued mindsets beset to foreign dances
I see I, and all that I've been..

I see I, dancing
through blackened flames
I see I and I've seen you..

And now that I've seen you..
what is there left to fear?

Gorgeous rhythms and soothing shadows
haunt words yet to be said through the
pale light of a thousand years

I've never been all that I could dream
Now everything I can say is as a boat
lost at sea, sailing into darkness
never to be seen
to never have been conceived
in this world that's nothing more
than a hallow sleepy dream.

This is

The end of a phase
The beginning of an era

Where hope is the villain
and everything bright with dreams
of happy endings

Is perused with intent to ****
I'm not your friend
I'm not your savior

I am the gun
buried in the hate
of everyone who's ever felt
the sting of betrayal, the whip
of hate searing it's name
into the bowels of your heart

I am the beginning, the ending
of everything to come
I am your friend burying the knife
in the back of everything you believe

I am a creature of your makings
Feed me, Keep me
Hate me HATE ME

And just before you forget me,

Remember all that's been done
before its too late and everything you love
becomes forsaken, destroyed
and is left in the wake of everything,
everything you've had me become..

You know, when the police show up,
and take you away; it's imperative to know the narrative, and....
When you know just the right thing's to say,
an actor without a conscious, or desire to face
the days to come.

I'm a pretender, and a liar and a fake.
snakes slither contaminating my mind...

a laminated love letter that I just can't seem to leave behind,
I hide inside, and aside from my faceless faces

I can't remove the deep pain withering away
every last bit of my rotting insides,

I demand prosperity, while I live the life of a degenerate
taking whatever will **** the pain, anything to make
the pointlessness feel legitimate,

and if I die tonight, take my body and turn it to ash<3
let there be some hope tonight, It's a profound
intervention- invented from experience of locked doors
closed minds, and drooling humanity.

I can't fix this world; and the world can't fix me,
it's just another way to avoid moving on
seroquel dreams, and klonopin pulsing through my veins
I'm a fool, a ghost, just the shadow of a man
that used to hang pictures of his heroes on the wall
king, gandhi, teresa, dali, nhat hanh
and one day it came to an end,
and the pictures; burned, and ****** on
just to put them out.

god please, let me live and die by my accord,
for this world was never meant for me,
yet, my dream is to see the world turn
and burn away the greed, desire, and hatred

I'm just so tired, and if I'm lucky
the police will never return
because

I just wasn't ready for them to blow my brains away
like a million pink blossoms blowing in the wind,
and excuse my slang, because I believe it will end
with nothing less, and nothing more
then one loud BANG.

Shadows Darken around me
Silence seeps from my mind
casting a shroud that none see
a sort of prison that only I feel,
and I'm so numb, feeling dumb.

Sort of glad to be here, it's surreal
a prism of light hidden for a time
sublime pleasure, and I feel it all
Just don't miss the vein, say again?

It will all be ok in the end....

What is there to believe?
Whats left? What's next?
Like a magician with a card up their sleeve
Everything that's important..
Ceases to matter to me.

So Fake; Make believe..

Pick a set of false memories
Make a book and read it thrice
Pick a destination and throw the dice

It's just, it's just this life...

I'm tired..
Need a long sleep
a few thousand years should do,
Sheepish lazy breed
Finniky writer
overdue on life
can't keep up
my head swims in drought
a wasteland..
smack dab in the center of an oasis.