I find it interesting that
We place ourselves
In the sight of others.

You learn a lot in a place like this
Start top right
Then ride your green bike
          red yellow green black
And the white lead goes in the middle
You learn what an angiogram feels like
And what it's like to have a broken heart

I'm just listening to Counting Crows,
and I get this feeling,
That I am so close to understanding,
Something, myself? Something.
And it leads to this eerie feeling of contentedness,
In the darkness.
But I'm just a step behind,
And the more I think, the more...
I lose my way, The more I question,
instead of listen.
But it scares me to let such a moment pass,
without pursuing... it.
Whatever it is.
Poetry? I think not,
Just splutter along the road of my soul.
Sure to be meaningless in the end, but,
Looking at it now, looking back a bit...
Oh to be **** half in the past,
And nirvana just out there,
A bit further along the way.
Almost childly, I blindly,
Reach my hand out and up,
Hoping that I'll be able to grasp the Sun,
As if I won't get burnt,
That since it seems so close,
I just need to grasp,
and the world will be mine.
But some things are not for mortals.
And demons, like kids,
Must too, one day,
Wake up.

Wounded lover
Wandering on the beach
There is no life here
     Crustaceans
That is no life to me
But the sand is soft on my sole

Blank gaze of the pitiless moon on my back
Speaking of things that once were
And never will be again

Soft glow of the rising sun on my breast
Oil slick reflections in the sand
Dinosaurs scavenging for sustenance

Why am I here?
Only the meaning we give it
Only the meaning we give it
Only the meaning we give it

Devoid of form

Repetition like insanity

Vortices swarm my ankles
Icy cold grip of a long lost mother

Reaching to consume her

    Blind and Reckless

           Child

There is no life I know there
Incessant drone of the pitiless waves

Soft glow of the fading moon on my breast
Her power slipping
Devoid of life
A lone rock

Warmth of the rising sun on my back
The sand is soft on my sole

Porcelain mug dangling empty in my hand
Water droplets stain my spectacles
Looking down from the staircase

Bright rays of the sun dance across the waves
To my Eyes
Water folds softly around eager rocks

Colors fade from the sky
A clear blue overhead

Clear as my soul once was

Walking on glass sprinkled streets
With numb feet

The Sand was Soft on my Sole

I searched for meaning
In religion and philosophy.
Taking on gods and
Prophets.

Gained some wisdom, but
Ended up confused more than
Enlightened.
Lost the little firm footing
I had.

I searched in arts and music.
Interprating. Analyzing.
Enjoying and disliking.
Expressing and being
Alternative. Original.
Outside the box.

All I gained was an unhealthy
Love of wine.
Less meaning than I
Began with.
Some pretentious friends.
More confusion than ever.

So I stopped searching.
Stopped chasing.
Stood still drawing fresh,
Crisp morning air into
My lungs, then felt it travel
To my soul.

I closed my eyes and heard
Her heartbeat through her
Naked chest; her collar bone
Against my temple.
Attuned my own to hers.
Dancing. Still.
Dancing. Still.
Dancing. Still.

Everyday magic.
Adventure within trivialities.
Dirt on the knees of my new
Jeans from recieving a hug from
A five-year-old.

Seeing pride in the eyes of my
Parents from a distance.
Unretainable love
And lust in the eyes of
My woman on a Tuesday afternoon.  
No special occation at all.
Just here,
Now.
Us.

No need to struggle.
To search.
To run after anything.
Just relax. Observe. Appreciate.
Love. Long for, then
Enjoy.

Nothing is without reason.
There's meaning in  
Everything you sense,
Everywhere you are;

You.

towering and sheltering
shading and nourishing
a blossoming innocence
of suckled sweetness

draped in wand pods
sowing magical seeds
sprouting sapling bridges
between hoping and knowing

fluttering metamorphosis
butterflies of the night
seeking the light of home
dimmed within memory

though storms may wail
these roots run deep
though lightening strikes
these wings have spread

Whether
You say I'm worthy or not
You're right.

Sun** breaks the peace of raindrops
Glaring through the window
Burning flesh awake
"Rise and Shine" it SCREAMS in silence
And the hint of laughter on a breeze
Taunts the groggy mind

Oh, I'm looking for light,
In this godless night,

I'm losing my spark,
And the apathy feels great.

With each uneven beat of my heart,
I close my eyes, and its not nearly as dark...

As the life we surround ourselves with,
Afraid of death and the afterlife.

It is called crazy, crazy, to wish it was over.
They call it depression and submission.

I call it rationalism!
What does this world have to offer you?

You take of it what you will,
But to me it lends only bills!

And not of the meaningless thing we call money,
No ******* up currency, no trust we bind ourselves by.

Nay the cruelty of a loveless life, of emotions drained,
Hopes dashed, family cruelly washed down winter's basin.

What do we look forward to in life?
Oh, I wonder, and wander. I am lost.

But to me I am found. I know who I am.
I am the darkness, at 2 am which causes me to write.
I am the boogeyman, the hidden fright.
The fear which holds you from kissing her,
The quiver you try to hide under, your receding grin,
I am the line by which darkness exudes,
I am evil and the joy infused,
I am the happiness of void, the contentness of lust.
I am the sin and the sinner, the judge and the judged.
And I am without care or worry. I am only waiting to be taken.
Oh. Oh indeed.

a natural work of art
   unnaturally rearranged
delicate sensibilities
   under patterns of shadow

self-portrait of inertia
   depicting withdrawal
pursuit of recognition
   motionless in futility

muted colors of being
   imbalance in the spectrum
intrinsic inquisition
   casting quality of light

fruits of perseverance
   nourishment for survival
openness and acceptance
   creating spatial composition

flowers in heart's vase
   healing from suffering
light from obscurity
   still life with darkness