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 Sep 2021
Amanda Kay Burke
It sure was a strange sensation
Loneliness struck like ice
There can't possibly be justification
Putting me through this twice

With one highway between us
Never seemed so long
Steel door is locked leading to trust
It is unbreakable and strong

Every time walk the line
Carefully between give and take
I would stand up for myself if I had a spine
Order to clean up messes you make

Fear keeping paralyzed
Cannot move or make a sound
About time I realized
No longer want me around
 Aug 2021
lua
i cast no shadow
beneath the white sun
amidst the sea of swaying green
and my skin is see through
and passes through
the blades of grass
like a projection
a hallucination
in no one's head
am i
even
real?
there is no colour on these sickly bones
but i feel the warmth of red
seeping through my transparent mind
am i
even
real?
i feel like a ghost
with no grave
a ghost that has not died
just yet
a ghost
trying to look for
something
for anything
for everything
while having
no eyes.
 Aug 2021
Amanda Kay Burke
I do not blame you for leaving
Understand why you bid me goodbye
I would not be with me either
If wearing your shoes instead of mine

Sometimes regret past decisions
That never lasts for long
If I would have changed them
Could turn out even more wrong

You are not faultless though
Bear your fair share of mistakes
Both contributed to downfall
With messes each of us makes

Have no clue how it happened
Cannot pinpoint source
Of relationship's demise
Still fills me with remorse

To relive one day with you
When we were at our very best
Would give up everything
To again lay my head on your chest

Be energy responsible
For making world go round
It will never be that way again
Pieces fallen to the ground

Gone are the plans we made
Promises
Dreams had
Swept away with the wind
All I own now is my pen and pad

To soothe pain I write it down
Words can't take it away
Like an infected cut memory festers
Just grow more used to it each day

Come to realization
You do not need me anymore
Better off without me
And the life built before

Back when first falling in love
Felt too good to be true
Perfection may have been real
Ended too soon as good things do

And I wanted badly to believe
All those precious words you said
Ignored my rationality
Listened to my heart instead

I was convinced we were meant to be
My search was permanently done
Although you no longer feel the same
To me you will always be 'the one'

It's better to love and lose
Than never to love at all
Even with the agony inside
Still grateful it was you I fell for Paul
Too much I want to say to you but never will
 Jul 2021
yajushi
Felt the ghost of your kisses on my neck
As I danced with your silhouette
To cigarettes after ***

It was late
But we were drunk on love' and wine
And
I laughed as your soft breath tickled my ear as you whispered sweet nothings

As the night sky got darker
You held onto me like you never wanted to let go
But when I tried to hold onto you
Your form combusted in a millon tiny fragments and dissipated into thin air
And I was left clutching onto emptiness

Eyes glazed over with dreams
I cried tears of remembrance
With a wine glass in my hand
I danced with your silhouette.
 Jul 2021
Amanda Kay Burke
Confused by quickness
That with surroundings changed
In less than a year
Life has rearranged

I retrace footsteps
Leading me here
Before I figure it out
Snows and they disappear

All I am sure of
Is you are gone
It's some other girl
Being strung along

You promised me forever
Until feelings declined
Guess your infinity
Was smaller than mine
Some infinites are bigger than other infinites
She bid me a fond farewell
Said she’d kiss and tell
Just to see me sweat and squirm
She wasn’t very nice
But I was still enticed
And wasn’t all that too concerned
She had no valid proof
Must be she’s aloof
All while driving over bridges that she burned
 Jul 2021
Jellyfish
You hide the truth.
Everything you say to me
feels like glue.
I get stuck in it
and don't know what to do...
I always end up finding out the truth,
just not from you.
You lie to me, intentionally or not, you hide the truth. It shocks me like a broken wire, it makes me feel like I'm on fire. I don't know how to be around you and not feel used up.
 Jul 2021
Amanda Kay Burke
I am not sure which words to say
Many thoughts crowding my head
And pride plus fear get in the way
I stay silent instead

In no hurry to lay heart bare
Each time I've done it before
Sentences hung suspended in air
You smacked them down to the floor

You don't have the strength or sensitivity
To face truth and come to grips
This time what I'm longing to set free
Remains barricaded behind closed lips
So sick of repeating the same scenarios. When will I finally learn? My effort is pointless when it comes to you...
 Jul 2021
Amanda Kay Burke
I thought I mattered to you
That there still was something left to save
Scared of life without your presence
Have no choice but be brave

You've made pretty evident
I am no longer what you desire
Wish I knew how you did it
So I also extinguish my fire

You do seem happier
What I want the most
Even if meaning you can only exist
In world as a translucent ghost

Bleeding out until heart's out of blood
Hoping you see
How I care and love you so
Everything you once loved about me

What we had was messy
The one thing I know is that it was true
When I look into your eyes today
Glimpse a sliver of the person I knew

But know things have changed since then
I have made a lot of mistakes
Wish I could take some of it back
No such thing as double takes

Starting to realize our time
Finally has drawn to an end
A portion of me would rather say no
Instead just play pretend

We only get so many chances
Never sure which one is last
Until it is too late and everything you need
Becomes part of the past

The scars left on my feelings
Cause me pain to this day
No matter how long spent apart
Damage determined to stay

We blame ourselves for struggles
Maybe that isn't fair
It is destiny's fault
Creating this nightmare

It seems real this time
You never are coming back
Try to hide my sorrow
I am always wearing black
I call the shade my heart is currently wearing "mourning black"
 Jul 2021
Brett
The sunset awakens the lonely dreamer,
Who gives no deference to the day.
Early mornings meet late nights on a one-way street and,
A late June crescent moon
Becomes a suitable seat,
To watch the world spin below my feet.  
I cast a kiss from way on high and,
Watch the wind carry my intentions
To the window of her bedroom.
It doesn’t stop and stare, it changes its shape.
The bluest of birds; perched, sings for her to wake
From the silence of her sleep, where somewhere down deep
I imagine that,
She was thinking of me. The lake through the trees
Where we waded waist deep, skipping our stones, together alone.
River of souls, to wither we go.
Lost love lingers like a loose thread on your favorite blanket.
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