I loved your skin more than my own and for that I failed myself
do you still think of me?
teach me how to love in fragments instead of with the whole of me
teach me about ill-timed affection and confessions given right when I begin to let go
I’ll teach you what it’s like to feel you; in my skin- in my head
I want to be unbothered by you, but my heart and mind have never reached a compromise
do you still think of me?

I've heard stories
Lived some stories
And hated most stories

The regrets of being human
Follows me like a shadow

I've felt everything
now I feel empty

Tired of being
Tied to my own thoughts

I slowly try to crawl away
But to where
to whom
to why

I was told as a child:

you can be anything you want anything at all. This is your life. You can choose what you want for your life. This choice is yours to make.

But when I grew older and wanted to take my own life I was told:

Think about your family! What about the other people in your life?! How selfish.

Suddenly this life of mine to choose or make was no longer mine and mine alone to take.

Spare me the ******* of how someone else's death forces the inconveniences of uncomfortable self reflection.

You had it backwards. It wasn't selfish of me to die. It was selfish of you to ask me to live.

Gather my
     Wasted moments
And bleach them.

So I can rewrite
    Upon them.


As time is a valuable
            Peice of memory.

And I want every
    Thought to mean
               Something.