I'm so cold and lonely
My strength is fading
I weakly wave no one notices
Hello mr.candy man
Am I invisible walks out of shop
I'm lonely
I am weak
I feel fragile
But my blood is rushing
I feel broken
But young inside
Hello is
Anyone out
There

How callously this day has come and gone,
Though hoped for, no gifts did it bring to me;
The sun reluctantly announced the dawn,
Not one bird could I find to sing to me

No matter the path, I walked it in vain,
No one offered a kind word nor a smile,
A cheerful spirit was hard to maintain
And became burdensome after a while

Strolling my garden I sought solace there,
While gathering roses, thorns pricked my finger,
Hopelessness and woe hung thick in the air,
With dusk at hand, I chose not to linger

O, the searing pain of being alone,
Doubting, while yet hoping love might find me;
But this day failed me and can not atone
For all these hopeless longings that bind me

I shall not forget nor forgive this day,
Such neglect saddens and tortures my night,
And this chaplet of misery shall lay
Upon my heart like a perilous blight

Contemplating Love's banquet of delights,
I greet each morn with new hope in my heart;
But a thousand days and as many nights
Saw my dreams perish and watched Hope depart

Too long my lonely laments have been sung,
Do I demand too much when I implore
Love's blessing before my death knell is rung?
(This granted, I would ask for nothing more)

"Tomorrow Love will come - be not concerned"
Hope softly sighs.   But my senses are numb.
And yet, as the page from Life's book is turned,
Once again to Hope's deceit I succumb

Went to orphanage home
too many old people
repenting for thier mistakes
came out
the only solution is
inventing a "Time Machine"
decided and
entered my lab
a great disturbance
my girlfriend calling and
Shouting, "It's enough, time up
come to sleep.."

you told me i should paint my nails red
as you studied the dark shade of gray
they were painted at the time
so dark they were almost black

it wasn’t me you wanted
to change her nail color
it’s the girl you thought i could be
perhaps the girl you wanted me to be

so i guess it’s fitting
you moved on
i bet her favorite color is
red

it's so strange afterwards
when it's finished
when it has been finished for some
time--
she sat on her bed in her bedroom
and I sat in a chair
and I had to tell her how strange it
was--
"nothing against you
but when I look at you now
I can't understand how you ever made a
madman out of me,
how you got hold of my feelings..."
she just sat there and smiled,
her body the same,
her red hair as long as ever.
she had never loved me.
it only mattered a little to her
that I had gotten away.
she was working on other prey.
she sat there and told me about him.
I listened.
when I left I didn't kiss her goodbye.
I got into my car and drove away.
after driving 4 or 5 blocks
I was no longer
thinking about her.

In restaurant
a professional man
with a laptop,
just moved out
from neighbouring table
leaving water
on the drinking glass.
we saw,
One friend said, "Half full.."
another friend said, "Half empty.."
Listening to our conversation
then the bearer came
and said, " what a way to waste
scarce natural resources.."

Rain colder than the word no
Into wind revealed painful secrets I go
Across sheets of lightning induced anxiety ,
through 'Downdays' filled with rumbling thunder
insecurity and finality* ...

To see another sky, another river, I
wanted to be as free as you always say that I am.
When just yesterday, a
letter stole my speech, a whisp
of the person I was moments before-- one full of
promise and expectation. I was now a
passenger whose flight was delayed. A woman
undesirably caught
between hometown comfort, and hometown purgatory in
which I couldn’t locate Hope, until you, and a
faint voice within, whispered that dreams grow with a gust,
strengthened by adversity. Of
course, the wind
still disheveled my hair, and stripped away at walls that I
built up, tactfully, for rejection. But this too will disappear,
with a greater gust, bellowing high above me, like
A robust cloud of thickening smoke.

Anna Blake




The Golden Shovel Reference

“I Try”
By the Staves


“I am a whisp of a woman, caught in a gust of wind, I disappear like smoke.”

FB doesn't have a grave or a headstone
But its a blessing to have a place to go
And read a heartfelt post
Written like a decorated bouquet
And a well placed rose

I love Lucie
and her amazing ***
Her beautiful backhand
and her movement on grass
She plays for her country
and has drank from the Cup
I love Lucie
So very very much

tearing shreds into my tiny heart like a ravenous wolf, how could you?
you have no love or compassion for the atrocity that you have  endowed onto me
you have no soul, no concern to turn yourself around instead standing there like a smug hoodlum proud of your obscene work
having no care in the world that you have shattered the last ounce of hope and dream that i once had