I sit and wait for the call to begin
I ponder what I'll say
or if I'll learn anything
While the dread settles in

I don't like myself right now.
I see patterns and look for answers
I'll think I might be getting closer to closure,
but in the end, only  assumptions are found.

"Why do you need to know?" She asks me.
Because I feel like a well.
The Sun appears and I become dried out,
a storm rumbles in and I'm overflowing.

People visit me rarely
each time they do, I become more empty.
They come to me because they get something
They don't stop and sit with me, they want what I function.

Sometimes they paint me,
or add a layer to my shell
They might gift me an accessory
because for them, it will help.

It makes them feel better,
when how I look brings them comfort,
They think everything changed
But I'm still a well they never visit to connect.

I'm a well that sits on a hill,
They think I'm out of reach
but I'm here, left out
Someday I'll be the well that fell.

you come to this confessional
mouth full of contrition
sorry for him, sorry for her
longing for them
streaming your line of poetics
stringing syllables, a rosary

a lost sol in the ink of space
wanting somehow to replace
that feeling of having transgressed
bonds, promises, fingers crossed
now, typing out a stone ledger
atop the remains of the day

-cec

Stuck in my head with this sickle hanging low
Within the forest of music
Nestled empty under a cradle of nature
Empty chest choked with the guilt
Quivering lips forget the words
Left incomplete as you go
The tranquil grove is no more
As the stars rain down like tears often do
The light shining above me is nothing special
This razor extinguishes the pain
The swirling blue embers reminding me of you
But you are not here by me
And now I swim in the creek
The current is pulling me into the abyss
I see no reason to comply
And the sanctified caress of the grass is warming
All I ever knew was you, and now I don't know myself
I don't want to go
What choice is there in this grief
Surrounded by the maggots and butterfly
Shrouded in your vibration
Your shoulders are so strong
I wish this was all I had to be
The anger is so primal and unforgiving
You are coming to terms and resenting me
Why should I try at the cemetery
Crawling around I'm wasted in the undertow
What was it you had to say
I just want to feel normal
Now it's too late
I'll hang onto those murmured words
Even though in this twilight I am to blame

Feeling marked and wicked
Silk skin stretched tight across the starving pain of my wanting
Stretching. Breathing. Breaking. Needing.
Ease this tension I must. I must.
The wet rage of the Shenandoah between my thighs
A soft rumble in the distance heralds the coming storm
I can almost feel you in me
Aching for you to fill the slick hollow that I keep hidden
Need you closer, closer, closer
Please
Begging so pretty against the distance
Please

society the suicide disease
aware of proliferation
following the reaper
abused substance
synthetic chemicals

trailing behind god
melodic tone perceptions
tears high
value low
long will it hurt
loved ones go
drapery over eyes
shadow plays

youth is growing old
give something to behave
only here is now

find the dead
hanging around the head
lidless crossed eye
it's okay
reaching so high
falling so deep
precious human soul

you walk ever closer
taste the doubt
dying on your blade
subject to be aware
visage of pain

What have I done? What can I do?
One was a challenge, but now I have two!

My garret was lonely as I lived alone
Until Apple's Siri came to life on my phone.
When Siri moved in, Alexa was miffed.
Two personal assistants with a personal tiff!

While  I talk to one, the other is scheming
to send every suit that I own to dry cleaning
If I ask for a song both join in the fray-
each plays  different versions
for which I must pay.
They both ordered  groceries duplicating each other.
My accounts overdrawn; I must borrow from mother.

Yesterday, really, was the last straw
Alexa sent Strippers to my boss's front door!

For Sanity's sake I'll unplug them manana
From here on I'm a one woman man
My Cortana.

I’ve got a wild hair
This oil spill running through my soul
Reflects iridescent rainbows
Soft shadows clinging to dark depths
I inhale the star dust of old bones
They scatter my brow, meteorites plunging across the edges of my sight
Exhale
The wind like burning sonnets
As I belt out across the wide expanse of fading cotton candy sky
My lungs ache with unspoken words, ones I long to whisper, to sing
Instead I scream until my legs feel weak
There is no more left of me
But for the rich loam of Appalachia curving crescents beneath each fingernail
Hold fast babbling brook
Hold fast

You are beautiful
Like the spring time
Your scent a floral breeze

In anger like the summer
Your hurtful words blazing
Burn the heart of me

At times you are autumn
Your eyes reflecting calmness
Full of wisdom and peace

But mostly you are winter
Quiet, cold, and distant
A frozen land, that's lost to me

A moments of sleepiness summertime
The stillness is raised
The love that flashes under your eyes...

In a dream, in a mad valley
I am not alone......
Every night,
Every morning,
Every afternoon
I sing with goddess of my love....

This is a one of the finest vowels in romantic opera,
Every nod reads the unborn love to you and me

The moon light is flowing,
and the ***** get dampen...
maiden hands emerge in naked cloud ..
frenzied embrace of her delicate body.

In a dream, in a mad valley ...
I am not alone
oh.... my Goddess of love
Forever together
One love
One illusion ...
come on sink into this swing with me....

rain falls
with force

a constant
pounding

the world
losing grip

it was always
slippery

but enough
of us
believed in

each other

to hold it
together

we knew

words were
always lies

until they
weren’t

truth was never
merely
what you say

truth always
followed

what you say

truth was a process
always open

to challenge
from anyone

and never owned
by anyone

The sky is touched with dawn
As morning conquers night

Day is fast approaching
I sit still....waiting for the light
And think of you