Remember this...

You are the reason for countless,
sleepless nights where I lay awake
wondering what light you would bring.

You are the reason I had no imagination,
believing that no one could fill the gaps
and why each day came with a sting.

Unknown to me, who you were going to be.
You sang to me, so sweet! You make my dreams
weep with joy and sadness.

Unknown to me, you were everything
or nothing. Someone to depend on or destroy.
I've torn you down but you stand with me in the mess.

You helped me through everything,
good and bad,  through my darkest moments when
self-harm and suicide didn't seem so bad.

You expected it back in return but when I couldn't
live up, you didn't leave you stayed
because you knew you were the only thing that made me glad.

This is for you, whoever you are,
thanks for being there. I know I don't say it much
but I don't know what I'd do without you.

This is for you,  because I know you are truly
willing to forgive me and I cannot repay that
or even begin to.

Just remember I wrote this for you.

dust and broken glass
an asthmatic's anathema for a carpet
on top of rotting wood turning green at the edges
must be envy of the holes
that light wont seem to pass through
it drifts lazily through the half boarded windows
getting duller and duller by the minute
a few paint chips get tired of the ceiling
and jump towards the creaking floor
smoke drifts to comfort the once white paint
you could say it's falling apart
a cigarette burn joins the rest of the stains
on what used to be a couch
and some *** soaked glass shards
join what was a window