a house
of uncertainties
has been lifted off of my shoulders.
my chest can finally breathe.
they say the truth shall set you free
and that is true
because my truths
released
me.

off-white.
that’s how I felt at first.
like nothing.
a stretch of time.
an endless sky.
directionless
with a dash of uncertainty..
different enough to capture your eye,
the first time.
“I’m probably tweaking,
he really
doesn’t like me.”
“he did before.”
“but that was before,
we are here and now.
so what is in store?”

sometimes my heart hurts.
it feels like it is
constricting
and expanding.
almost like it is making
room,
for you.
for your heart to settle next to mine.
which is why
I don’t mind.
because that pain
gets blown away,
every time
I look in your eyes.
a sense of ease
washes over me.
surreal and complete.
no disguise,
lies
or trickery.
just chā
and ra’id.

Roses are red,
violets are blue.
If you truly love me as much as you say you do,
then how come you no longer treat me like you used to?

I want you to chase me
when I walk away.
To put in a little effort.
Show me you care,
Show me that you want me around.
Show me you want me here.
I need your reassurance,
Someone’s..
Anyone’s..
Preferably yours.

I want you to pay attention to me.
I want your time.
No scheduling,
No planning.
I want to see you whenever we’re free.
No sneaking,
No meetups.
I want someone to see
When I wake up.
Day after day,
Month after month,
I want years with the same one .
I want to appreciate every single second
Every breath I take in your presence
I want to
Cherish every accidental touch
Every smile that lights up your face
Every word that makes my heart race
I want the same
Friday nights movie dates
I want the “I’m on my way home ,
You want a milkshake?”
A “text me when you make it home,
So I know you’re safe.”
I want there to be no distance between our minds.
I wanna know all of your thoughts ,
And I want you to want to know all of mine.

I want you to have time for me .
Don’t make time when you’re free,
Like you have to put a reminder in your schedule
Just to see me.
Saying you miss me
Knowing you only miss the pleasure
I can bring you.
I want you to want my mind
as much as you want what’s between my thighs.

I want to be known
By you.
Truly.
I wanna fall in love with your words
because I know they’re true
not because you’re only saying them
because they’ll benefit you.
I want more from you than you can offer me.
Even if I have to beg,
I’d beg
For you to **** me instead.
Just off me!
Only two things I plead
The fifth and insanity.
I want more things than I deserve to want.
Because the thing about “I deserve”
Is that you don’t deserve a thing
In life, except the right to breathe.

So, what do I want you ask?
I want someone to want me.

Baby
can you see
Through the tears? 

I can see the pain
Through your smile
You think you hide

I could see past
The illusion
in your eyes

Dry your eyes
Rise anew
Because baby
I see you
And
I feel you
With my soul

It is not an illusion
I want to love you forever
In a billion different ways

Darling
My only only fear

Forever,
may not be long
enough