Welcome to Cathytown where the grass is always pinker.
Where the moon and the sun fall in love and where everything's better when everyones together.
I had a heart to heart with my mum today, I was angry that.. She didn't understand me, I was afraid that she didn't love me and that it was my own fault.
She told me I couldn't be anymore wrong, that she shouts at me so I can grow, she's ******* me because...
Well, no one else is..
Not in Cathytown.

She said I have to grow up eventually, and see that the world isn't as sensitive as I'm going to be.
She said she loves me so much her heart hurts every time I stay out til midnight after every row and argument but she can't reach out because I'm too hurt to let her in.
She said I was born perfect, two eyes, two hands, two legs, perfectly healthy. So it hurts her when I say I'm not beautiful, not good enough.

Cathytown... Where dreams come true in a blink of an eye,
Cathytown, where friendship is forever
And true love can blossom and *** isn't as important as intimate conversations.

Please let me stay in Cathytown...
Where I can watch disneychannel and drink tea and make others happy by just being me..
I know I get sad sometimes,
But staying strong is my anthem
I know I get dramatic and weird and over emotional
... But hey, that's just me.

Jelly Daydreams

Rain on sun, winter white
Melted wax on a child’s face
Papier Mache, worn mantels
Stuffed with boysenberries

Shrill sounds of loneliness
Heads turning on corners
Corners keep going in circles
Brains can’t believe eyes

Purple light, blinding day
Kaleidoscope silence too loud
The storm inside is waning
Beggars fill city streets

Shrieking alarm, **** alarm
Glass shards flying in the wake
Trembling legs of reason
Nowhere left to hide

Rain on moon, nighttime black
Burned flesh a new victims’ face
Suffocating, brightly colored feathers
It all tastes like orange marmalade

Fairytales are stories that never finished. That was the last thing I said to you as I walked away. Our story had an ending. An ending like a car crash. Like knowing the train is coming but it felt more comforting to stay parked on those tracks. Sifting my fingers threw your hair as you looked up at the stars and I just couldn't seem to look away from you.
I smiled as you slept and we laid under the stars that night. You would soon tell me that the weekend you went out with your friends you made a huge mistake. I imagined burning buildings and sirens. You told me another man had explored your body. I imagined you inside of the burning building.
I remember the hours after like smoke filling my lungs. You pleaded your love for me and the amount of sorries said were like cutting through glass. You had told me "you're my fairytale ending!" As I walked away and imagined that burning building getting ready to collapse, I tell you, fairytales are stories that never finished.

Despite the heart which is froze
Hatred runs fluidly
Like the water in shattered glass
Like the blood in broken bones
Like the flames in our homes    
This hatred
It speaks to me
Like drugs to an addict

When it tells me to shoot
                                         I relapse and
                                       aim for the sky

I said..
In spite of my own humility
Hatred runs deeply
Like the roots beneath the dirt
Like the pain beyond the hurt
Like this poem before your eyes

I despise 
                Way too many lies
                And so little truth  

I said..
I hate beautiful  
It cripples me deeply  
For you are my pity
My pain and their pleasure

When I am high
                           I'll collapse and fall
                        Far from this place
                        Of rotten bliss

I said..
Look at me        
Blood misrepresents me    
For I am cut differently
This pain isn't felt
Like the emptiness
Residing in your cup
It is felt
Like a toxic
Living inside the gut
Like these words
Traveling directly
Towards the stomach

I mean..
             Although this addiction kills me
           Hatred is also the remedy
          It is all I need to truly appreciate
          The little love I have left.