drifting upon
the waves of hypocrisy
being kept afloat
by the lies i've told
all it takes
is one proven truth
to puncture
the shell of my being
and leave me sinking
towards the bottom
to rest upon
the sands of my betrayal.

High atop the spire beneath a cloudless sky
the Cross stands forlorn Christmas is nigh
since long in the past time beyond recall
no bells chime here sung no carol!

But still its heart flutters as it hears the Lord's voice
I carried your burden and set for you the choice
to do this world much good and love your fellow men
be happy in others' happiness take share of their pain!

Kind Lord mutters the Cross men still live for gain
act the way it seems your blood was shed in vain
they war and breed hatred between them raise wall
hanker for pelf and power in their loss they squall!

The church lies abandoned starkly white and bare
only the Cross bows to the Lord in silent prayer
still hoping it's not far away when the bells would ring
the Lord would carry the Cross on his second coming!

Strange feelings swim inside me,
confusing and alert.
Prodding me to make a move;
assume, affirm, assert.

Yet these tones only arise
within the realm of me.
I'm building solid structures
from only misery.

Misery imagined
Misery, elusive
Why do I question everything
being inconclusive  

Like happiness backfiring
scrutinizing itself
to pick apart perfection
and pity all the wealth

To find a problem buried
where graves have not been laid
and ravish in the thinking
I should be getting paid

I'll sit and whisper to myself
I should be getting more
of everything completely
as if love is but a chore

He tells me things I know.
The things my heart is saying.
Why does the mind escape the heart
all certainty decaying?

But he is right
and I am wrong
I love all of this man.
Expectation kills livelihood
He does everything he can

Overthinking hurts
when none of it is true.
We cannot build reality,
fake disappointment--brewed.

So holding hands with him
and I love you's ARE enough.
The feeling IS the knowing.
Uncertain, true and tough.

People come here and they eat,
satiating their tongue
to me, it seems like a never ending repeat
of an eluding trance song

I do not complain
for every time he wipes me clean
soaking my tears, healing my pain
leaving behind some ornamental scars

There are others also, like me
of different shapes and size
in apparent harmony with no common goal
we just pick up the chatter and claim to be wise.

The lamps glow, in the dark a vibrant rainbow
for an evening, light up my mundane life
the soft wind, makes the chime cling
ostentatious beauty, made for some heart to zing.

Even when the breeze dries, be happy, eat and drink
to connect to your heart I will always be here
the lonely candle will again light up,
and you shall find your much needed cheer.

When I'm done with this body and leave in a hurry
I don't want you to cry nor to stay up and worry
Don't be sad, you know how easily I bore
Your love shook and rattled me to my core
In my departure the last vision I'll see
Is of you smiling right back at me
Do know I leave only because I must
That our love transcends all I want you to trust
When I'm done with this body and start a new journey
Remember that your love is engraved deep within me
Goodbye for now