Lips so red
Corpse so blue
Lips whispers quite
Corpse remains silent
Lips cry in despair
Corpse doesn't care
Lips become still
Corpse welcomes her will

Crying tears of sorrow
Scared of what awaits me tomorrow

Crying tears of pain
Life will never ever be the same

Crying tears of sadness
Can't wrap my mind around this madness

Crying tears of anguish
You now speak the Angels language

Crying tears of the alone
Your death cut me to the bone

Crying tears of black
By my side I'll never have you back

Crying tears nonstop, Neverending
There is no way time can do it's mending
I'll meet you soon dear friend, even if it takes years
For I'll drown in the river of my own tears

I can't get past this swirling blackness that resides inside my brain
I can't seem to think of happy thoughts or any other thing

Onto this ugly life of mine I'm holding on so tight
My hands are cramping, my knuckles are turning white

I'm not sure why I am, the light went out years ago
On this darkened sea of emotion, I just flow

I no longer want to feel the tide, or the waves that take me under
The storm persist above me, the lightening and the thunder

I've tried to row this boat of sorrow to the shore
But it didn't work at all, it just so refused to go

I think tonight instead of rowing, I'll just drill a hole
tonight this is my goal

I'm gonna visit Davy Jones down there in his locker
I know to many that will be no shocker

I want to lie down with you
I want to die too
I don't want to fight in this world without you by my side
I'll I can do is cry

I try to hold the agony within
So no one else can see, so it won't offend
So they won't worry, so they don't know
Just how badly with you I want to go

But tiny agonizing whimpers escape between my lips
I don't know how much longer I can  man this woeful ship
There is a hurricane in my ocean
Turbulent thoughts plunder my emotions

I can feel the sinking
I can not stop the thinking
(I should of left and followed you that same date)
(if I leave this earth now, can I catch you, or am I to late)

All I can do now is sing my woeful cry
Cuss at that unseen entity in the sky
My insides ******* in the tightest knots
Minds in a spin and so are my thoughts

Send me a message,  send me a sign
Let me in one of my note books find
Where you once wrote "love you ***"  
Should I pick up, or put down the gun
Your death was a shock unplanned
Does that mean I have to stay here and stand

Does that mean I can't intentionally follow
That I'll have to stay in this lonely abyss and wallow
You use to guide me back
When my world got to black
I was always there for you also
Now your death I must swallow

I'm feeling mighty hollow
I don't want to face an empty tomorrow
I know you're telling me to stay
But you was my light that lit my darkness and turned it gray
Now you went on without me, your so far away

My world now an ominous black
Weight of the world on my back
I want to lay it all down
Walk out into the woods and never be found

Father Time is pushing me along
But I don't want to go on
For every step that I take
Every tick the clock makes
Takes the memories farther away
I fear for the day
When time does it's shading
To my memories it will do it's raiding

I don't want to forget your smell, or how your arms felt, when you hugged me tight
I don't want to forget your voice,  when you consoled me in the middle of the night
I don't want to forget your face,  or those beautiful blue eyes
I don't want to forget all you said that was wise

I'll hold on to those memories tight
As I stay here in this life and fight
But I know they will slip through my hand
Like the hourglass's sand
I know from experience time will take it's toll
The pictures and memories of you away from me will start to roll

But the pain of you being gone
Will stay with me my whole life long
It seems the only thing time does not take is the love and the sorrow
THAT,.... it let's linger on way into all of the tomorrow's

No kind of drug can help me escape this brutality
That is now my horrifying reality
There is no place I can hide or run
When life becomes the nightmare I want to wake from
My whole world has crumbled
Now desperately lost within the rubble

So thankful we always took the time to say "I love you"
Because before that branded day was through
The winds of change..... They blew

I found you, but you where already gone
Now I must learn how to say so long
You sprouted your wings and flew away
You left me here all alone to stay

I'm still in this earthly hell
This sorrowful anguish I can not quell
For how will I NOW ever vanquish the sorrow
For you are no longer in my tomorrows
How will I ever disburse the pain
That swells up my brain
For you took with you my love, my heart
Without those how do I even start

These tears that gush down my face are not for you dear friend
Nor are the wails of anguish that to the skys I send
For I know you are in a better place
I know your in a better space
Be it with your loved ones,  or in the veils darkness kept
It is for me these tears are wept

You took not only my reason to sing, ***, you where my song
Without you, how am I gonna stay strong
When everyday is at lest a week long
When I need you, there will be no loving arms
My life is now my nightmare, it's so ******* WRONG

I couldn't take anymore of the earthly ways
Or the games that people play
So I've given up this very day

I don't know what is in the great beyond
If it'll be chaos or if it'll be calm
I just know it's time for me to move along

I've done all I could in this realm
With all I've endured,  I'm overwhelmed
To take this final step I am compelled

So I'll start out my letter like all of us fallen do
"Just remember I'll always love you"
"I  just couldn't hold on,  with this life I am through"

Years ago......today was the day I died
****** it to this wicked world to survive

I don't no where I was before this life
But I'm sure it was sweeter than all this strife

Because on that day at the window seal sat the inky black Crow
To witness the birth of another dead soul

I'm left upon this table bleeding out
For all of my emotions, I find no need to shout
They are pooling all around me
Like the oceans and the sea
You'll no longer have to worry
About what kind of mood I'm in
This well be my final sin
Just know I always loved you
Even though at times I do what I do
Sometimes I just got carried away
I hope you can forgive me anyway
You where my only true friend in this pitiful play
It took to long to find you, my life always in disarray
Please forgive me, that I choose to go out this way
But there's this price I have to pay

Up, down, turn around
Please don't let me hit the ground
It's to late, you already missed
Feeling like I don't exist
Been laying here in my bed for days
Counting down the ways
Of how to let go, or should I stay
The number count is growing high
Of the many ways to die
The argument to stay is small
Finally at the bottom of the fall
There is no getting up again
I'm to weak within this skin
This hole is deeper than the rest
The walls slick with oil, who would've guessed
Me that's who
There seems to be nothing I can do
Not this time, not by myself
I need some help
But they all ran away, sickened by the sight
Of a twisted corpse still trying to fight
Guess I'll just lay here and try to find some peace
But that will happen after they find it in the Middle East
I'm just tired and can't carry on
So I'll just lay here till I'm gone

The memory of what he did brought even more memories to mind
Slow at first but picking up speed, it's all starting to unwind
I don't want to look, I don't want to find
But when I close my eyes there they are right behind

It's been almost a year, but all these thoughts have come rushing in
Because it is mushroom season again
The woods I would have to go within
I always loved to romp about out there,but now thoughts twist and bend
Losing my sanctuary was the greatest sin

Dragging me out to my beautiful wood, so I could be his prey
The feel of the freash damp earth under foot, birds chirping in the trees, I will remember it ALL till my dying day

My hands tied behind my back, it would be easier for him that way
He pushed me to my knees, invading me from behind just like my step daddy did so a ****** I'd stay
He knew it would bring back those memories of my yesterday's

With that veil evil deed, so many things got lost
My woods, singing birds, the river's bend, what a cost
No more fishing, no more camping, no place to take off my disguise
No sanctuary to run to, all of this I'm starting to realize

He was an intelligently crazy
He was destroy the last place that was my safety
He was taking my last bit of joy I could get
He was very cunning in that, I'll have to admit

He found away to continue to bring me agony
After all these years he couldn't just let me be
He made my tormented life worse by many degrees
So now standing at the edge of the woods I freeze

He took my place
To feel warm and safe
New and catastrophic agony is now a cold fire inside
There is no place to hide
It's left me fighting hard not to end it all and die

I'm gonna lie my tired *** down
You can look but I won't be found

Gonna go to the tallest mountain, tell the world goodbye
Gonna see if I can fly

Take my sharpest knife, let the darkness flow
See what is really in charge of the show

Going into the woods and take my medication
Administer my own sedation

So done with a life deprived
I'm ready to arrive

You can look but I won't be found
I'm gonna lie my tired *** down