Deciding to pursue religion. False harmonies. Odd years growing up. You don't care for the upset, do you? Alone I sit in the spotlight, Hallelujah. Enjoying the absence of brass. My neck restored. Relaxing vertebrates. Shoulders depressing. Newer cut. Crystal above emeralds. Dear fire, Pursue the rigging. Make us of this intrusion. Square cut chardonnay.

People keep asking me if I still love you.

Of course I do.
I would yell it from the rooftops.
A first love is one that blossoms before
Your eyes into the most beautiful and innocent
Bouquet of intertwined stems whose necks lead up to petals kissing.
The feeling of butterflies
Swarms you when he kisses you for
The first time, for that feeling just continues to grow
Up and out until it leads to the revealing of a sudden, "I love you"
In my heart
And mind.
Is it my heart making me feel like this?
Or is the swarm flying around all through me that
*Makes me feel as if my mind is no longer only for my soul's desires?

.
Held in the pens
Of womb, little one
Squirms to see light,
Before the bars of crib
Encroach and bind one
Growing into childhood.
Then to be left off, bounded,
For chaste schools to yearn how
To keep such place whilst learning,
Never knowing that old, bracing sun
Is all around until frightful bell— calls
Recess, for these are the walled gardens
We made for ourselves, the coldest brick
And mortar chambers we place as lambs
Are encased, when finally we are pushed
Into the dark, the drabness, of the drowning
Work a daze whirled, the open prison of our lives.

My finger tips is as cold as the heat of hell,
Inhaling and Exhaling chemicals that is running through my veins into my brain, i call it anchor, heavy as it is.
a secret i share… "i write when i'm choking.." Shhh.. , the word of silence and a verb of order to keep the darkest secrets.
     **welcome to wonderland.

i lost my soul in a place surrounded by darkness. i don’t even know who am i anymore, i’ve become alone, lost, stuck in a familiar body with a different soul.