I don't want to be misunderstood,
losing a friend to suicide is incredibly hard
but what I find most unnerving is how infectious
the idea of escape can be.

أخبرني انها كانت حقيرة
أخبرني أنها خرجت  ذات صباح  و لم تعد
أخبرني أنها كانت تخونه
اخبرني انه كان يضربها لأنه يحبها وهو الان يضربني لانه يحبني

أخبرني  أن السماء لا تمطر ذهباً
أخبرني أن جدران الغرفة الضيقة التي تأوينا  تجثم على أنفاسه
أخبرني انه يكره المخيم
اخبرني انه يجب ان انام عند جارتنا لانه لا يستطيع تحمل رؤيتي
اخبرني انه يحبني
رحلت
فرحل
عاد في المساء منهكا
اخبرني كيف انغرس كعبه في كف المسيح
ثم خرج يبحث عن شخص اخر ليصلبه
ورحل
لكنه يحبني
كم يشبه من حاول ابتزازي ليلة الجمعة
لكنه يحبني.

He's the hand I felt on my shoulder as the tornado went over me . He's the one who saved me from choking to death in my own ***** . He's the one who sat beside me on the mountaintop as I cried over my wrongs . And if I ever kneeled before him he would take my hands and raise me so I could kiss his cheek . Who is God ? My best friend who has saved me time and time again . Who understands my limits and my failures but forgives me each and every time . One who is always there for me to lean on when I am tired , lonely , discouraged . One who has shown me heaven and promised a place there for me .
Who is God ? He is in me , my past , my present , and future . I am nothing without my God .

When everything hurts and you're broken inside
Where do you run
When there's nowhere to hide?
Who do you call when you can't even talk?
The tears mumble up your words
The judge and jury
Of your broken hopes and dreams
Have found you guilty of being human
Worn and weary
Your soul is tired of fighting
Your eyes are tired of crying
The reality of what has been lost is horrifying
Inside, broken dreams linger
Where will you go to pick up the pieces?
Will you ever forgive yourself?

I fell in love with candlelight-
in my darkness, she shone so bright.
She danced the breeze, lit up the night,
her glow consumed my very sight.

But wax and wick both burn away,
and candlelight just cannot stay.
As sure as night turns into day,
that fickle flame will go astray.

But for a moment, through the storm,
she lit my world, she kept me warm,
then flickered out, as is the norm
for candlelight, its fleeting form.

I fell in love with candlelight,
for but a moment, all was right.
Her glow, her dance, consumed my sight,
and faded out at end of night.

Mirror cloaked in tears
I scream at my own reflection
Why couldn't you have just killed yourself at 13,
Like you always said you would?
You didn't know rejection.
Eyes glazed over, helpless red
Why did you have to stay on and be strong?
You could have found out if heaven were real
Or maybe you would just be nowhere instead
There, there little broke girl
I know you want to die
If I would have just killed myself at 13 (Like I always said I would)
I wouldn't need to be alive