My heart is breaking,
The tears are streaming,
My breath is all but gone.

My body shakes,
The sweat takes place,
My tongue is all but dry.

My voice is cracked,
The words that spat,
My misery and despair.

My love you were,
The situation that was,
My forever is all but dead.

I was new to the school
I had no friends
Fear wrenching my gut
And so I smiled

I met some people
They turned me away
Bullied behind the back
And so I smiled

Finally I made true friends
And got asked out
But of course it never did last
And so I smiled

Then the friendship all went wrong
Promises broken, loved ones lost
Blood was shed, turning hands red
And so I smiled

Horror, black clothing
So much more
Crying and dying all inside
And so I smiled

A grandfather left
Passed away
No longer shall we play
And so I smiled

Glaring eyes crossed
Hatred shown in the hall
Between friends turned enemies
And so I smiled

True friends turned sisters
Moved away
Leaving me alone
And so I smiled

Fear wrenched me again
As I tried to mend
Broken friendships from childhood
And so I smiled

Now I have met some girls
Not true friends but close
A boy I like is more than friends
And so I smiled

But a smile no longer means happiness
Now it's simply a brave face.
So how do I reveal to the world
That I am somewhat happy?

wet ink is a constant river
weaved with octopus fingers
running back home to the sea
salt water drinks your poetry
a small song riding her waves.

If Alice stayed in Wonderland, I wonder what she'd find.
Would the revolution come? Or would we stay in double-bind?
Did Carroll have a migraine? Or a tumor in his head?
Is violet the favorite color because blood was meant to be shed?
What if a brunette fell down the rabbit hole? Would she even fall?
Or would she be too busy speaking to clouds, which speak to us all.
Would the Hatter be a shaman, or a schizophrenic fool?
Would he be put away on Earth, if indeed he broke the rules?
Would Alice have encountered serpents? Or was she bit from the start?
Would her sword still be a weapon? Or an inverted cross?
Did she believe in holy spirits, and evil that impaled?
Did she believe in gender wars, where zygotes did prevail?
Was there a sun in wonderland? Was it the biggest star?
What if Bethlehem had no nightfall, would they still see It from afar?
What was Alice's sign? Or was she the bulls-eye?
Or perhaps she was the 13th sign, and therefore never cried.
Did she recite the alphabet, and wonder where the letters lie?
A Beast, Love Man, Your Death, Count ZzZ's... (Don't be surprised.)
Is every day a mental health day in Wonderland? Do they believe in Halloween?
Do they remember past lives, as they remember Alice? Do they celebrate Christmas Eve?
If the Queen of Hearts was cut in half, would a question mark remain?
Did Jesus make a big mistake, and so we live in vain?
After the dragon's death, did Alice get bored?
Or did she start to play with pitchforks, knives, spoons and swords?
Did Alice believe in God? And was there knowledge in the tree?
And was this knowledge poison, or did it set her free?

You are not the scars on your wrist.
You are not the mistakes of your past.
You are not the fear in your mind,
The hurt in your heart,
The regrets of your actions.

You are irreplaceable, irrepeatable,
Treasured,
Priceless,
And a gift to this world and to me.

Your smile brings light,
Your laughter brings hope,
And your life
Is worthwhile.