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 Nov 2014 nurul
Just Melz
It's crashing and caving
Down on me
This life,  I've worked so hard
Can't even get dealt one good card
And then the avalanche of pain proceeds
And I'll grieve
Try all over again
But it's the same **** thing
Lifetime of misery and defeat
Playing on repeat
Like...  
How did I get here?
How could I come this far
Just to get knocked down
This ground made of pavement
My new best friend
I'll just lay here awhile
Get walked all over
While I wear a pretty smile
Dial it down a notch
Like...
How much more can I take?
You've defeated me
I'm laying here holding you
Waiting for a breath
There's no wealth or help
No welfare consuming momma to help me out
I'll just kiss this pavement
Down for the count
Give up?
That's what I'll do...
You beautiful slab of concrete you
With me in life,  with me in death
It's my final breath,  
I'll spend it in your cold hard arms
My solace on the ground
As low as I can go
You've been walked on your whole life too
You feel what I do
******* Pavement
I hate you
 Nov 2014 nurul
Rob Tuck
mountain deep river high
watch
all of time stops slowly
quickens
I've always been
a bit of a miserable ***,
prone to black moods
and apathy.

There is so much life
in anger.
So much passion
in bitterness.

Hate
is so clean,
so simple.

Clear
as glass,
and twice as sharp.
 Nov 2014 nurul
AJ
It's been a month since your fragile voice made contact with my alert ears and it almost burns as I admit I miss the way you spoke.
I could never meet your eyes-do I even remember the color of them?
And every glance at you feels like you're drawing blood from my veins when you're not even making contact with me.
Change, change, CHANGE.
It all seems so relevant, or maybe irrelevant and I just want you to be happy but not hearing your voice talking to me feels like a million needle points and I shouldn't let you get to me.
It's been a month.
Have you ****** around more after me before the word "change" hit your tongue?
Or was I just another nothing of a female body to fuel your addiction that actually made you realize that change is all you got?
Seventeen years doesn't get you far, now does it.
But karma, that's going to get you.
You're nothing, 'cause you told us we were something (what a lie!) and it's going to loop back around.
But I miss your fragile voice making contact with my alert ears.
If you have ever felt numb inside, I understand.
It is like an empty chocolate Easter Bunny with nothing inside.
I sometimes feel just like that inside my body.
Sometimes it feels as if there is no reality.

I feel as if I am in a dream.
Sometimes it is hard to care about anything.
Sometimes I feel as if I am ugly on the inside.
I feel like sometimes I have no heart.

I feel like I am not alive.
People look at me as if mental illness
does not mean that I cannot feel anything.
I realize that beauty is only skin deep.

But the truth of the matter is that
everybody has feelings on the inside, too.
It is just like the chocolate hollow Easter Bunny.
I am not just chocolate in a shell.

Only God can fill that hollow feeling
to make us feel solid inside.
 Nov 2014 nurul
EmCrowe
Take me away from Here.
Bring me to a soccer field at 11 pm
To look to the purple haze
and the holes that are poked through
revealing the starkness of the cosmos.

Take me away from Here.
Run away from the salesman in the mall
who follows us with perfume samples
and indulge in the poorly made Chinese food
that we always eat by the pint.

Take me away from Here.
Let’s go to the ocean
and ache over it’s vastness
while I embrace the burning of the ground and sky,
and squander my thoughts by plunging under the waves.

Take me away from Here.
To cities and museums
Where we can pretend we’re in a movie,
and breathe in the images
of the titans of stone before us.

Take me away from Here.
To a campfire in some classmate’s backyard,
Where the purple haze is above us again,
The cosmos poking through,
And I feel the presence of freedom
Our moment
in time
has passed,
gone forever.

Now,
I have to force
the weakest of smiles
when our paths cross.

If I can bear to speak to you,
my lips
politely
skim your cheek hello,

all the time remembering
how my heart used to race
whenever I saw you,
and how it aches now.
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