There is always a moment
when I wish I didn’t feel
like prey at the bottom
Of the ocean.

Did I teach myself to breathe
underwater, sinking and never
Coming up for air,
watching the surface
Grow darker and darker—
cold satin on my skin,
A thin film over gills,
Knowing I would never
kick my legs, flail my arms
Was it I,
who put myself here?

My grandmothers are
standing there ,
mother , maiden , crone .
Wisdom , transformation
and they are guardians
of the doorway .
☆
Black Crow waits patiently
outside .
New Moon in
Scorpio ,
the blank rune , Judgement ,
spirits of the earth and
material existence .
☆
Destiny is power and using
Chaos ,
like the three fates ,
or cutting a thread ,
only realising it was always
this way .
☆
My grandmothers are
standing there .

I am Lost

My soul resonates
with the prettiest and darkest things.
I feel and hurt
and live and rejoice
and die and hate
and forgive.
I do it all
in a whirlwind of emotions so no wonder.
No wonder
I don’t know what’s forward or backwards or even what to say
Or do next.
I am so lost.

You threw me to the snakes
leaving me to fend for myself,
discarding me like an object that
you had grown bored of.
And,
when i crawled out from the pit
more powerful than before,
venom coursing through my veins ,
I became the monster.
I became the one to be feared.

How easy it is to forget that monsters are not born
but made
and my dear,
you are responsible for every inch of the creature I have become.

Dawn is blazing
the world is still
this is
the time before times.
Watch the sun kiss
the moon goodbye.

Broken-record words,
twirl in the lobes of a brain.
Don’t play again.