My muse is now, someone new
and I think change was, overdue
For I was slowly becoming bitter
I'd soon have given up and become a quitter

But now my muse has been exchanged
Are my poems different, have they changed?
Because the're now about a girl who loves me too
But do my new poems sound different to you?

I want to be selfish for once, to get drunk from my needs
and soak on my wants. To get high from My Love and
wrapped up on my life.

I want to be greedy at last, to drown on self love and
asphyxiate on my laughs. To be exhausted from my
joys and depleted from good vibes.

I want to be narrow minded tonight, to feel voiceless
from speaking up and drained for being who I am.

I need to be ego centered and obliterate all my flaws,
to eliminate all the stares and feel I'm above them all.
It's time to be selfish and begin to live for me, they all
have their lives on play while mine's stuck on repeat.

I'm a book
that no one wants to read.
I'm a rose
that's hidden in the weeds.
I'm a sun
that's covered by the clouds.
A diary
who's key cannot be found.

People aren't concerned,
and they think they know,
what lies beneath,
even though,
the current is swirling
and whirling away,
while the surface is smooth
on this beautiful day.

i like to watch the clouds on a clear day
floating in the sky so very far away
forming different shapes  a pattern in the sky
gathered all in unison as they go passing by
like a painted picture in the sky so blue
floating overhead as the sun shines through
everything is peaceful there for me to see
such a lovely sight that makes me feel so free

i saw a little fairy sprinkle stardust in the snow
then to my surprise it began to glow
glowing like a candle in the snow so white
lighting up the  ground glowing very bright
then she did a dance on the snowy ground
waving with her wand as she danced around
she looked very lovely in her gown of white
dancing all alone dancing through the night
so i made a wish for peace the whole world through
hoping maybe one day my wish it would come true
then she flew away waved and said goodbye
deep in to the night in the sky so high

Everything is oh
Well, whatever
Every time I go
I can't sever
The blasé nonchalance
Embedded in my head
I was given a chance
But I'd rather lay in bed

You see I'm not lonely
And I don't get people
I'm always the only
One to see through the sheeple
I don't see the point in
Going through the motions and
Acting like the world isn't caving
And my heart isn't shrinking
With every single breath
And with every person's death
I just can't seem to
Care

But
The truth in the rut
Is
What it is
And
What it is
Is
All I want
Is to be cured
All I want
Is to give a ****
All I want is to care
All I want is to care

All I want is to care

Late at night is when I think
And try to I clear my head
I often stay awake all night
Just laying in my bed

As soon as I get comfy
Thoughts start racing in
I start to question everything
and regret my every sin

At first the thoughts are gentle
Like what will I do tomorrow
But as time crawls by; they escalate
Till I'm drowning in my sorrow

I think of all my failures
Every detail of what I did wrong
After hours of reliving pain
I convince myself I don't belong

I suddenly feel isolated
and like the silence will never end
I feel like I will never escape
There's too much I just can't mend

I feel overpowered and worthless
Like I'll never do anything right
I hide till the world fades away
And I'm awoken by the light

I realize a new day has come
It's time to put on a brave face
I put those negative thoughts away
Until I return to this place

When will come the day
You never cross my mind
with all of the hurt and tears
that you left behind

when will come the time
That I'm not thinking of you
thinking of our memories
memories that I can't undo

when do I stop looking around
hoping you'll see me driving by
even though you're miles away
wondering if you pull up beside

and those songs on the radio
they remind me of us
Every word and every lyric
Its unfair, its unjust

when do I stop seeing your face
everytime I close my eyes
how do I keep from remembering
about the day we said goodbye

When do I stop trying
To find a place to hide
Its almost if I'm addicted
To all the pain inside

When do I stop beating myself up
It wasn't my fault
But I can't quite understand
Why we came to a halt

I just want to let you go
Forget about all my scars
Let my heart finally be free
From the love stricken bars

When will be the day
I no longer have the need
To pick up this ******* phone
To again, beg and plead.

when do i let go of goodbye
Stop hoping for another hey,
when will will I wake up and say
That moment is now, That day is today

I've moved on and am smiling
Cause I was finally strong,
To hold my own and be happy
Freedom I couldn't prolong.

But would it be worth it to let go
To not remember what we shared
To give up on for just a moment
Just how much we cared.

Truth be told
With enough to be said
It'll be a feat in my day
When you are finally out of my head