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You've found that hole in your soul
Nothing fills it

The smallest things
Seem smaller

The largest things
Seem smaller still

Why won't anything fit
Why won't anything fill

You've found that hole in your soul
Nothing fits it

Its not like its a predator
The things it consumes
You've already forgotten about

Silently it exist
Taking only what you've sacrificed through neglect
Taking only what you've left to languish

It would be better if it was a hunter
If it was taking
Then you could remember
Then you could


© Christopher F. Brown 2018
Delusional
By years
By fears

We now say
Concerned

We fear not
We worry not

Why then are we
Concerned

Are we Delusional

Should we now say
Misunderstood
Misguided

Intentionally avoiding reality
Labeling it something: other
Labeling it something: manageable

Something

As it is not
Even though that
Is


© Christopher F. Brown 2018
Rap was my first love
Rap will always hold my fire

Hip Hop will always have my heart
Hip Hop will always be the one I come home too

We started together
Even when she is on some *******
Mumbling around town with technicolor hair
Crunch berry grills
looking like a cartoon villain
I get it

Rock was cool
sometimes we all need to scream
need to be sad and different
sometimes we don’t need words
just a guitar
just a bass
just a drum

It’s a funny thing to say:

The Blues made me laugh
laugh hard too
That’s why she said she left me
she said she was done.

I got so lost in Jazz
When I thought I left I realized
I’m still here

When I thought I had seen all that there is to see
When I thought I rounded the final corner
It turned out to be a street named Lombard  
The light shone on me in notes of blue
With the blessing of The Sun and Ra

I realized
off beat is the beat

Jazz
She’s like Hip Hop
I may go away
but I’ll never leave.


© Christopher F. Brown 2018
There once was this universe that only existed in the memory of it's Creator
Named after the Creator's cousin
Early on by the inhabitants of the universe

To its Creator
It only existed 5 or 10 minutes

To its its inhabitants
Time and space
Lasted long enough for them to directly communicate with that which created them

All manor of experience
All types of existence
Was present there

Science discovered Magic as Magic welcomed Science home

When this universe came to an end
Its Creator created a thing that universe had never seen
The creator's creation disturbed the peace and shattered the balance
The Creator's creation was a selfish and ego filled thing.

The creator created a being whose purpose was
be everything
the creator had never seen
Be everything
the creator never had

A being whose only purpose was
do nothing else and only this:

Love the creator like it had never been loved

Doing this warped and then shattered the universe.



© Christopher F. Brown 2017
What if
Brothas and Sistas in Oakland and Richmond
Got together

They poison Richmond's air
Just like
They poison Oakland's water

Every Body from Oakland has a cousin in Texas
Or Louisiana
Or Haiti
Or Atlanta

Just like

Every Body from Richmond has a cousin in Mississippi
Or Alabama
Or Jamaica
Or Tennessee

Why dont
Brothas and Sistas in Oakland and Richmond
Get together

What would that look like politically
What would that look like Economically
What would that look like spiritually

For as long as the decades i can remember
Its been a problem

For as many years have passed now
I've been saying to as many as will listen that i pass

Its been a set up.


© Christopher F. Brown 2017
When I first met you
you could barely stand
yourself

your words
not mine

It wouldn’t have been fair
asking you to stand with me

Unfair to me
not you


I see you question yourself now


“Can they see?”
“Do they know?”

You know you only hide
masks
shells
I laugh because you’ve even tried fur

Some see
Some know

And you pray
To see them before they see you

And you pray
To know them before they know you

I’ll say a French sigh instead of writing it
Anyway

You play a game called self
Id like to ask you some questions
but you already knew that didn’t you


© Christopher F. Brown 2017
If I ever become famous
I want to tell you

The Oakland that raised me
has changed

Its spirit is still the same
but
its body
its composition
-or at least the parts I knew-
are irrevocably different
from what I knew

The house that my grandmother lived in

for over 30 years

was fashioned to four bedroom
800k
two-story cottage
never mind the generations worth we had their already

Something similar happened to the homes my aunts lived in
Something similar happened to the homes my friend’s aunts lived in

The once cozy and comfy street corners in the
Black Neighborhood
began to be filled with **** attics asking for food and money
pulling fat bloated dogs behind them.

The once cozy comfy street corners in the
Black Neighborhood
that use to be outposts for Muslims selling newspapers and bean pies
turned to base settlements for those in need that had the cleverest sign

They tell me now that I’m from

“Old Oakland”

The smells from the Granny Goose and Mother’s cookie’s factories
still fills Stonehearst’s playground when I dream that of a time gone by


Old Oaklanders Remember

When you could hop on the bus and get a hotlink from Flints
We Remember taking the BART to the colosseum station and seeing
Our Mural
on hallowed ground.
Panthers, Politicians, and everyday People
Reflecting Us
By Us

That’s gone now

Across the street is the
New Mural
on capitalist ground
Patriotic Propaganda
Reflecting someone miles away
By someone that’s just getting paid

There is even a shuttle that takes you directly to the airport now
No more interacting with the locals

Old Oaklanders Remember

When Raiders moved to LA
We welcomed them back
Now they are moving to LV
Its an Oakland thing
you wouldn’t understand


The New Oakland wants to Fight The Old Oakland
Its want to take Laney away
(a small part it says)
and build
The New A’s Stadium

The Small Part it wants isn’t Big enough
to do the new thing they want to do
Us Old Oaklanders know how this goes
the small little part
for the new little thing
gets bigger and bigger until all

The Old is Gone


If I ever become famous
I want to tell you

The place that manufactured the mold of my making is under new management
Even the surrounding areas have transformed


Downtown Berkley once had a cornucopia of bookstores with blocks of one another
Crystal and smoke shops
mom and pop knickknack shops that sold real Ethiopian coffee
40 year old pen shops
30 year old record shops

All gone

They have restaurants now

The strip of Telegraph or University where you could once see
Rockers with 8 inch spiky green Mohawks
Getting high with
Burnt out hippies
and Keeping the peace and spreading the love with
North Oakland Generals

has all been replaced

Conservative A type international students studying
STEM or accounting and finance that all
“hate it here”
But want to make a lot of money
and will when they are done
and will make more when they build their empire back home

That is the Downtown Berkeley you see.

If I ever become famous
and someone goes looking about the places where my feet traveled
and the body of my youth laid
I want to tell you

You wont find it

“Old Oakland”

Only exists in the hearts of the Old Oaklanders
Living in parts far and wide

They have even stopped calling North Oakland
North Oakland

Now its

Temescal,
Some far reach of Emeryville
or even a direction of Berkeley

but its not
Its Oakland

And it will always be Oakland




© Christopher F. Brown 2017
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