First comes love, then


              she does

tHERE aRE pLENTY oF fISH iN tHE sEA


i swung a bat and hit the ball—

and the ball kept talking to me until he found someone a little cuter at work. or that's what i assume.

you keep saying, "at least you played the game,"

but i would rather have missed the ******* match.
crane my neck like a swan. hang my head. give up good, give up so good. canadian geese.

it happened again. it ******* happened again.

She deeply sighs; torn dreams
broken promises and nothing but
disappointment in her eyes

It's not sadness nor loneliness
numbness from the void of euphoria she repress

cold emptiness to be filled
I'm sick of being at chill
I want some thrill

They use soft gentle tones,
as if the scream of already known truth
is feared to burst my eardrums
and shatter my seemingly delicate china glass
of a soul.
I am not as broken as they think I am.
My mind may be frayed in places but
never do the patches become too worn and the seams
unravel and burst against my will.
They can throw all their unintelligent thoughts at me
and mistaken my non-catching for clumsiness.
But I have myself by my side and that is all that is needed.
Pity is a misguide and a sentence of the weak,
and I know I am better.
They are wrong, and
I am strong.

knees;
games too rough and concrete too hard,
a cry heard from across the park,
a healed wound covered by a playful sticking,
and a slip up cared for and forgotten.
i can carry on with a smile;
i had thicker skin when i was younger,
times when tears were only shed at accidents.

heart;
a once unrecognisable beat of ecstasy,
put on repeat when your face surfaced,
when your fingers met my surface,
but they soon dug in too deep and left scars.
now pieces lie around my feet and red drops
leave my aching hollow chest from where you took
a once alive merchandise of our love.

nose;
too much caring leaves me astray
in a dark city awaking at late hours,
craving something that can leave me numb
and forgetting parts of my thoughts exist.
trails of white disappear in a sniff,
a sigh of relief, and i know just for now
i am not doomed.

wrist;
a bathroom door locked,
water running freely just as crimson joins it.
watching the flood of the last thing i feel
as skin stains, eyes drain,
nothing is worth it.
i am doomed but at least i
controlled it.

You hijack the cells of my body
Like a virus
Infecting
Restricting.

You've ensured that when it is
Crucial
That I fight back
I am unable to.

I am left
Powerless and unmoving,
Save the ever so slight
Fluttering of eyelids.

You've turned me against myself
Trapped me in a useless mind
That cannot feel
The love he has for me
The love that would heal me
If only I could feel it.

But you've know all along what you're up against,
And you've known all along that you -
That I -
That We
Cannot win.

One red leather seat
Eighty-seven red leather seats
Golden sheen of the mace
Black over their shoulders

White cloth banded over sight
Upright hand of upright spirit
A golden scale in one
The glimmering blade in another

Words carved on the starch
Under the flag, written
These that bond us
Restrict us, Set us, Show us

Yet when the path astray is led
The cries of
The rightful the just
Go mum and mute and silent and hushed

The red leather seats
In present turn into thrones of
Knives and fire
As Draco watches on, envious

In books, in schools
We preach, often
Events we fear we repeat
Words we fear we echo

But unbeknownst we do
Betwixt our hurried steps and
False grips on reality
We again allow its passage

First they came for
And I did not speak out
Because I was not
And there was no one left to speak for