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Jan 12 · 159
Imitations
Chris Thomas Jan 12
Seems for the time being,
I no longer feel real anymore
It feels evermore as if someone, nefarious or not,
Has traced an outline of my silhouette
Affixed a pair of soulless brown eyes
And caricatured a smile across my face

So for the time being,
I will no longer act real anymore
Because the only things I draw, well or otherwise,
Are Type A blood and messy conclusions
Where spatter and decisions
Are indistinguishable on the canvas of my life
Nov 2023 · 98
Scarlet Symphony
Chris Thomas Nov 2023
From the very first day
That you crashed into my soul
Fused it with your scarlet symphony
And drenched it with your crystal blues

I knew,
That I would never be repaired
I would never be the same
And I would never want to be
Nov 2023 · 165
The Warmth
Chris Thomas Nov 2023
The weight of my insecurity
Tips the scale beyond capacity
Yet I still bear the burden every day

The sound of my inner voice
Reverberates within my ear, duplicitously,
Yet I nod in subtle agreement anyway

The pulse of my constant fears
Makes my heart envious of its rhythm
Yet my veins ever widen, to my dismay

All while the warmth of my depression
Has become far too safe a shelter in this cold
Yet it seems that the frostbite....

.....is still underway
Oct 2023 · 227
Not From Autumn
Chris Thomas Oct 2023
The air has taken a chill
Not from Autumn, but from you
And my smile is fading quickly
I drink to keep from shuddering
Not from Autumn, but from you
And suddenly, I have erased my memory
Sep 2023 · 115
Stepstool
Chris Thomas Sep 2023
Sing me a dream set to music
Light the kerosene lamps and sit next to me
Tell me tales and yarns of your choosing
Especially the ones that are make-believe

Hand me the rest of the wine
Set your feet on the stepstool of my heart
I don't care if you cry or laugh here
Sometimes, I can't tell the two apart

Watch the fireflies blink from the open field
Close the heavy book of your expectations
I'll never fall asleep if you never leave
And we can sketch our own constellations

Tell me that I just mean something
And I will mean it for the rest of my days
Maybe once tonight I can make you smile
So I'll finally learn what it is to be amazed
Aug 2023 · 95
No Sky Too Grey
Chris Thomas Aug 2023
There is only one person in our short lives, where there absolutely is no depth too deep,
no obstacle too large, no bridge too far, nor sky too grey.

For I will dive where there is no air, I will push until my hands are raw, I will walk until my feet have bled, and I will chase the horizon until I have found the sun

Just to bring you back home.
Aug 2023 · 115
100
Chris Thomas Aug 2023
100
The last 100 sunrises
The last 100 sunsets
Barely scratch the surface
Of the story we have written

The full road has been twisted
With perilous curves
Jarring speed bumps
And even a collision or two

But these last 100
Are now my favorite chapter
Because we finally collided
The way we were always supposed to
Jul 2023 · 524
Reawakening
Chris Thomas Jul 2023
It took some time,
For our hearts to blossom
For our fire to truly rage
And for our dreams to

Reawaken

So now all I crave
Is you by my side
Your hand placed in mine
And various parts of your skin Attached effortlessly to my kiss
Apr 2023 · 135
Stepstone
Chris Thomas Apr 2023
My bare feet smack wetly against the rock
Every step resounding louder than the last
Yet it seems that with each revolution
Of this cold, dying earth
Its melody gets harder and harder to hear

Some may argue the weight of the world
Rests upon this very stepstone
Yet it seems that in this crystal stream
Where our blood runs teal
We may, in fact, be erased from existence

My cadence is as stilted as the day of my first steps
Sharp edges saw at calloused heels
Yet my body finds an unknown balance
Beyond comprehension, beyond reproach
As I finally set foot upon death's lonely shore
Mar 2023 · 132
Aftermath
Chris Thomas Mar 2023
The aftermath of yesterday
Is just today
A million times over

The aftermath of today
Is just tomorrow
And tomorrow is not promised

The aftermath of tomorrow
Is just yesterday again
Because yesterday is my home
Mar 2023 · 110
The Devil You Never Met
Chris Thomas Mar 2023
It used to be better to run with the devil I knew, but the devil I knew ran from me

And siphoned any remaining trace of faith in my soul

The devil I knew made me question the echoes born from my own voice

And delved into abysses that spanned eternity and beyond

The devil I knew held my sanity at knifepoint

And vilified the things that comprised the best of me

So now, instead of being the devil I know, it is far better to think of you as...

the devil I never met
Jan 2023 · 230
Rewritten
Chris Thomas Jan 2023
The inkpen on the table
Bleeds far less than its owner
Maybe that's the reason why
She never smiles anymore

The inkpen on the table
Has been shaken far less than its owner
Maybe that's the reason why
There's nothing left to salvage from this wreck

The inkpen on the table
Is not as black as the soul of its owner
Maybe that's the reason why
He has to be rewritten all the time
Jan 2023 · 381
Savor the First
Chris Thomas Jan 2023
Savor the first time
Savor the first day
Savor the first kiss
For the rest are all mired in shadow

Savor the first touch
Savor the first heartbeat
Savor the first love
For the rest shall haunt your waking dreams

Savor the first symptoms
Savor the first fever
Savor the first mistake
For the rest will paralyze every achy limb
Jan 2023 · 4.0k
Levees (Theodore's Tale)
Chris Thomas Jan 2023
"A patient man bides his time,"
Theodore tells the man in the mirror
Tomorrow, all the levees will break
And all the fables will be told
Of distant Decembers and forgotten fathers

Livelihoods will be threatened
And remorse will fall by the wayside
He watches as icicles on the awning
Melt away into puddles on the ground
"Warmer every day," he thinks to himself

He hangs up his scarf and overcoat
The way a simple man, with complex demons, is wont to do
And as his wants devolve into needs
And as all his anchors deteriorate to rust
Her smile unnerves a once-settled man

To think of the quality of glove necessary
To hold onto the wagon in this day and age
So Theodore pulls the door to,
Leaving Chopin's "Horseman" to gallop in peace
And in pieces

He watches her from across the courtyard
"Such sweet bliss in her footsteps," he sighs
And it seems to him as if the snow dissipates
Just from the warmth in her steady gait
Just from the radiation behind her brown eyes

He slides open the dresser drawer
A haven for scattered trinkets, odds, and ends
A place of respite for the weary souvenir
There, amidst all the corroded memories
Lies a corroded pistol, unspoken and unburnished

"And a lonely man drinks his wine,"
Theodore says, as intrepidly as he is capable
For there is a time when fathers stop teaching
A time when mothers stop singing
And a place where the sins stop searching

A last breath is deeply inhaled
But never again will find its escape
With a thud that echoes to Seymour Street
Theodore crumples to the cold wooden floor,
A simple man, finally free of complex demons
This is a poem about hopelessness, unrequited love, and the sense of loneliness that accompanies every loss.
Dec 2022 · 1.0k
Destination
Chris Thomas Dec 2022
I just want you to know
That each day that we walk
Side by side
Not one day
Not a single one
Has the end of the trail
Been my destination
Because my destination
Never leaves my side
Chris Thomas Aug 2022
Befriend me until the end
Because I am bound to my fate
We dance on clouds without silver linings
Yet, we wonder
Why only pennies fall from the broken sky

Betray me until I stay
Because I never stay in one place long
We're down to six degrees of separation
Yet, we wonder
Why we're always so **** cold
Aug 2022 · 128
Jump to Illusions
Chris Thomas Aug 2022
She feels more akin to a silhouette
Than she does skin, blood, and bone
She is outlined by shadows, silk, and lace
A queen perched upon a carven throne

She feels more akin to a bead of sweat
Than she does water, raindrop, or wine
She rises with the temperature in the room
Reinventing what it means to glisten and shine

Yet, I shall not jump to illusions this day
I lie in wait of a more tempestuous fate
The dancing her figure does throughout my mind
Never allows my heart chance to acclimate

She feels more akin to a midnight dream
Than she does morning or afternoon
She is beyond the setting of suns amidst horizon lines
The waxing and waning of the palest of moons
Jul 2022 · 119
Internal Damnation
Chris Thomas Jul 2022
The very heart within my chest
The only one I possess

The overseer of my desires
The captain of my blood

Has traitorously abandoned
All sense of reason

And in turn, me...

So now, I reject my own pleas
For it is clear that I am guilty
Jun 2022 · 120
A Marvelous Collision
Chris Thomas Jun 2022

I used to think I was a star
Sitting all alone in the universe
Burning through the fuel in my reservoir
Granting wishes upon those who gazed

But now it has become clearer

That I am more of a comet
Nary a clue to my destiny
Just careening recklessly through space
Leaving a trail of frigidity behind

Yet always,
Dreaming about that marvelous collision
Jun 2022 · 127
Cleanse
Chris Thomas Jun 2022

Veiled to the rest of the world
I sit in silence
Terrified by the presence of myself

I must revive
The spirits that lay dormant
Buried within a crypt without a key

Trapped in a place no man, nor god
Ever dare follow
Consumed by these endless thoughts

I must cleanse
Like the mist that burns away
From the arrival of sunlight across the sky

Jun 2022 · 186
Lacerated
Chris Thomas Jun 2022

Wistless as I may be
I comprehend two, perhaps three
Of life's great mysteries

One of them is that
When I am lacerated
By blade, edge, word

Or the most terrifying weapon of them all
Silence.
I bleed.
Profusely.
May 2022 · 195
If I Was a Daydreamer...
Chris Thomas May 2022
If I was a daydreamer,
When did the sun set on this day?
Was it when my calloused hand trembled
As I painted my dreary soul across the canvas?
Or was it when the sour taste upon my tongue
Merged with the bitterness of her forgotten fruit?

If I was a daydreamer,
When did the dream finally fade?
Was it when my eyelids relished the hours
They once needed to weigh enough to subdue me?
Or was it when happenstance strengthened its resolve
And set me on paths I was never meant to walk?

If I was a daydreamer,
When does the magic swell in my throat again?
Is it when I sever the ties that bind
My desert heart from the tundra of my mind?
Or is it when the tides finally erase me
Like a grain of sand swept out to sea?
May 2022 · 191
Paramours and Parachutes
Chris Thomas May 2022
There's a warm wind blowing in
A welcome change
From winter's crippling breath

She says she doesn't fancy theatrics
She says it's clear that I do
Yet, whispers only when we fade to black

I have exhausted all the air in the cabin
At least what's worth inhaling
I have spilled all the blood that's worth spilling

I have been afraid of heights like these
Since the days of my innocence
Always hesitant to face the lifeless abyss

Because the one thing I have learned is
Between paramours and parachutes
Only one opens when you pull the cord
May 2022 · 101
Stop. Erase.
Chris Thomas May 2022

Stop me if you have heard this one before.
"Boy meets girl."

Stop. Erase.

"Boy meets girl in a trivial pursuit."

Stop. Erase.

No, there is no meeting at all.
Meeting implies brevity.
A meeting is held in a conference room.
A meeting is not felt to the very core.
A meeting is no flower on the brink of bloom.

The reality is, the world ceases to spin on its axis.
The sun flares at the sight of her.
The moon implodes at the sound of her.
Mars and Venus collide at the touch of her.
All while constellations dance like moths,
Hovering far too close to a flame.

There is no pulse, only rhythm.
There is no break, only bend.
There is no rescue, only flailing.
There is no beginning, only end.

Now boy stands at the center of a great divide.
And girl disappears, abruptly as the tide.

Stop me if you have...

Stop.  Erase.
May 2022 · 316
Maybe, Sensationally...
Chris Thomas May 2022
Maybe,
Sensationally,
I have found the most elusive peace I have ever known
Maybe,
Sensationally,
All it took was the shatter of every bone
But maybe,
Sensationally,
It means I won't have to die alone
May 2022 · 242
Swimming in the Notion
Chris Thomas May 2022
Cast aside all your fears
Simply take my hand
And swim with me in this notion
That daydreams can be as real
As the taste of salt upon your lips
As the touch of sand upon your toes
I will tread water for us both
For I will never let you drown
Apr 2022 · 780
Demon Chasers
Chris Thomas Apr 2022

I used to chase my demons

With the courage of a malnourished lion,
Pointy pitchforks,
And tequila,

Until the day I finally realized,
We had been sharing the same DNA all along


.
Apr 2022 · 122
The Only Difference
Chris Thomas Apr 2022


The only difference between you and me
is everything

Yet, the symmetry
Where I stop, you stop again
Where I will go, you've already been
We straddle both sides of this broken fence

The only difference between you and me
is everything

Yet, the chemistry
A bond unbroken by salt and ocean
A reaction unchanged by speed and motion
Valleys flood from our melting point

The only difference between you and me
is everything

Yet, the electricity
Thunder rolls, bumps rise from skin
Hearts hum, our axis spins
Drowned in static, we remain harmonious

Because the only difference
Between you and me, is everything

.
Apr 2022 · 116
Jealousy's Snare
Chris Thomas Apr 2022

Men have waged war
For less than the glimmer of your eyes
Empires have crumbled into the sea
For less than the touch of your hand
Constellations have drifted apart
For less than the sound of your voice

So savor it, my love

Know thy love beckons
Amidst the chorus of life's despair
Yes, thy love still beckons
Amidst echoes of jealousy's snare
Mar 2022 · 106
Laurels
Chris Thomas Mar 2022
I am just leftover shards
   Glimmering in the sand
       Carefree and camouflaged
             Where my eyes dry from salty seas

I am just salvage
   Resting upon my laurels
       On the shores
            Where sweet and bitter collide
Mar 2022 · 106
Eyes of the Storm
Chris Thomas Mar 2022
I watch the world through this filtered glass
The only place where I see things clearly
The only place where everything askew
Is finally set straight again

I watch the world from this lonely lighthouse
Seems the well-wishers have all fallen in
But the well is as dry as their lips
Victims of another summer's daydream

I watch the world from this grey cloud
The only place I hear the world's heartbeat
The only place where I can escape the storm
The only place that I belong
Jan 2022 · 112
The Futile Crusade
Chris Thomas Jan 2022
"Don't fret," he says,
As feet singe along the highway
As callouses form
And perdition looms ever closer

"We do not count missteps here," he says,
As our eyelids flutter
As colors bleed
And the horizon becomes our last best hope

"Perchance one day I tame this gravity," he says,
"I may yet label these perils as the cruces of my life,"
As mirages dance
And tomorrow's spies step out of shadow

"Ensure, my child, you settle your debts," he says,
As the fog dissipates
As pockets jingle
And the road eschews its weary travelers
Chris Thomas Jan 2022

So I furl my brow, again
And curtly interrupt the beating within my chest
I thrash right through these fragile memories
That serve as hostesses to unwelcome guests

I remain anchored
And tethered to the obsolete

She sails across my empty sea
On currents capable of avarice and beyond
I fester within spirits of my own design
That in my youth, were once brilliantly spawned

With blissful candor
I weather her bitter deceit
Dec 2021 · 138
Sanguine
Chris Thomas Dec 2021

an intricate mélange behind walnut eyes
you somehow smirk with no movement of lips
sanguine, as a diamond kaleidoscope
dreams wavering along calloused fingertips

it is much like you to tear asunder
all the fractions that compose the man you see
sanguine, as the day you were born
threading your way beyond the mystery

barefoot, your steps still echo within
this cavernous place I once claimed as mine
sanguine, as the island I have become
you are my disarray, by bittersweet design
Chris Thomas Dec 2021
The man sits stationary in his favorite chair
While children are adrift in their dainty dreams
Fire spits, crackles, and warms the room
One that is far colder than it seems
Much like shimmering snowflakes fluttering down
Memories fall from his clouded mind
Santa should be half past San Francisco by now
Leaving crumbs and subtle grace behind
The man calls himself an imperfectionist
Because flaws are the greatest gift of all
But soon, carols will fade back into their music box
Only regret will deck these halls
Under a Christmas tree as green as his envy
Presents sit wrapped as tightly as his lips
Reindeer could be sailing across winter skies
But he's obscured by his mind's eclipse
There's no more bliss in the land of wonder
There's no more repeating of sounding joy
The man fades into uneasy Christmas slumber
So ends yet another year, as a misfit toy
Dec 2021 · 169
By Splendor's Dying Light
Chris Thomas Dec 2021
The power of pain remains ungoverned
While the currency of faith slowly bleeds out
Children, transfixed and mesmerized
Watch cannons cauterize our wounds

Mother moon, cresting over hill and lake
Reflections can no longer resist the weight
Arms, vanquished and immobilized
As dawn breaks our last awakening

By splendor's dying light
Treason has spoiled our meager hearts
Eyes, squinted and crestfallen
We are but a fraction of this mutinous crew

For our deaths may be inevitable
And our honor may be unenviable
Betrayal, blinks and relapses
While sword and shield seed the earth
Dec 2021 · 101
Frostwritten
Chris Thomas Dec 2021
Amounting to more
Than my heart can hold
Stained silver cuts deep
With its poison-steeped blade
And the pen in my hand
Remains bitter cold to the touch

I write my pleas
With ice-coated words
Words that melt swiftly
As they dance upon coals
The embers of a fiery
And deceitful tongue

As I tiptoe along
The edge of the Earth and back
I notice there is scarcely
A whisper in the wind
Imprecise eyes
See only brackish blinks now

Fallen memories
Have piled outside my door
Yet my footprints
Are still sprinkled across the field
And I retreat,
Back to a haven of simple thoughts

I am hallucinating
As I watch pieces of myself chip away
As though I am a sculpture
For winter's amusement
Merely a plaything
Of this everlasting frost
Nov 2021 · 350
Topsy-Turvy
Chris Thomas Nov 2021
topsy-turvy
is the alignment of my soul
I am bitter, broken, and betrayed
by the man in my reflection

topsy-turvy
is the smile on my face
I am faded, fraught, and faithless
from all the failures in my flesh
Nov 2021 · 831
Thankless
Chris Thomas Nov 2021
I try to keep my head buried
In the sand of my work
I try to keep my eyes focused
On the next finish line
I try to keep my hands away
From their idle ways
Because it's becoming crystal clear,
That this Thanksgiving
Is just not the same
The dining room will be empty
The hallways will be empty
I have already given my all
And my thanks have already run dry
Oct 2021 · 187
Sunburns and Sympathies
Chris Thomas Oct 2021
It unsettles me that no one
Not my golden-haired mother
Nor piteous father
Not my third grade teacher
Nor any of my flights of fancy
Ever took the time to explain

That when you paint yourself into a corner

All the colors you carry with you
Along the way
From sunburned pink
To sympathetic yellow
To the grayest of blue skies
Aren't the only things that bleed
Oct 2021 · 354
Sin Sear
Chris Thomas Oct 2021
My edges are fraying
My colors are running
My shadows are fading
My dreams are fleeting
Yet, despite all I have lost
I shall still wear my sins
As tattoos carved into
Both flesh and brittle bone
Yes, I shall still wear these sins
Because they are mine
And mine alone
Chris Thomas Oct 2021
I see you glancing at the brush,
But our bristles don't hold paint the way they used to
And for all the folly in our atmosphere, I am sorry
I know I'm the one who exhaled the most

Remember, your father told you,
"We run the most standing still,"
But my stars have remained perpetually frozen
Since my love ceased blushing your alabaster skin

If you cinch the tourniquet too tightly,
To summer's dismay, I may not heal by autumn
And whether you whisper treasons of the universe or not,
My anchor's still aweigh by first light

Broken words taste bitter upon my tongue,
And it's becoming clearer and clearer
That you were my road to Arcadia
But, as I am prone to do, I derailed us both

I see you glancing at the brush,
But our bristles don't hold paint the way they used to
And for this achromatic atmosphere, I am sorry
I know I'm the one in black and white
Jul 2021 · 153
Echoes
Chris Thomas Jul 2021

I made love to you in my mind,
Long before my hands traced your skin
I tore at every strand of fabric,
Long before I espied the shape of you
I unclasped your bra in daydreams,
Long before it was tossed aimlessly aside

And whatever, my love,
Happens to us now
Know that the burning desire within me
Still echoes
In every revolution of the minute hand
And in every mile of space between us

I know again I shall crave,
Reckless collisions from our bodies entwined
I know again I shall thirst,
To mingle my hands within strands of your hair
And I know again I shall covet,
To pull you back to the embrace in which you belong

And whatever, my love,
Happens beyond tomorrow
Know that the labor of my love for your touch
Still echoes
In every drop of rain that resounds upon the roof
And in every emergence of the sun's first light
Chris Thomas Jul 2021
I'm standing on the horizon line
Peeking back at the yellow brick road
Their eyes are transfixed upon me
And yesterday seems so out of reach

Hesitation grips my footsteps
Recalling this past of flying colors
From the birth of my blues
To the death of lavender lullabies

Secret doors explode open
Along these sunrises and sunsets
I feel each tender ***** of the needle
I slumber in pieces, yet never in peace

Waterways of indigo and dandelion
Sweep stubborn hands away from harm
Skies of silver and harmony
Pull stubborn feet off unsolid ground

I watch tangerine dreams freefall
And the octaves in my soul follow suit
I am impaled by future's rusty blade
Crimson bleeds out and radiance dissolves

Tomorrow tastes more and more bitter
The more it drips onto my tongue
Grey washes over everything I have ever been
And I turn to face a life undone
Chris Thomas Jul 2021
It often feels as though I was never meant
To be the man that I have stubbornly become;

It often seems more likely that at one time,
During my checkered past,
I laid in wait in the foliage,
Sprung a makeshift trap,
Subdued one of my pursuers,

And assumed their identity

It would be one of the few logical explanations
For why I consistently sabotage my own path;

Retreating to my sanctuary,
Setting up tripwires around every corner,
Poisoning my sole water source,
Setting up sensors around my heart,
Camouflaging the exposed crimson,

And stalling for time that I no longer own
Why do I still daydream about the ending
When the beginning is far from written?
Jul 2021 · 461
Pride Comes Before Autumn
Chris Thomas Jul 2021
The sun is setting over this wonderland
Here I am, drifting along shame again
Using my dreams as the raft
And my heart as the anchor

I make landfall and plot a course
Blistered feet causing no distraction
My veins run with yesterday's toxins
Making my scars more visible than before

Anxiously, I await in the shadows
For the villain to make his grand entrance
My hands crave to clutch his throat
My eyes burn with fires of vengeance

The cost of everything he took from me
A debt that could never be repaid
I crouch behind misshapen branches
And inhale one spiteful last breath

But the cowardly ******* never shows his face
Leaving no print for miles around
Until, at last, in the rustling of summer's death
Autumn points her finger directly at me

.
Jul 2021 · 100
Daydreams Forgotten
Chris Thomas Jul 2021

Yesterday,
I patterned myself a savior
One who was stitched up tightly,
In the shadowy form of a simple man

A man who,
For all intents and purposes
Bled out when the town did,
Some-sixty-odd seasons ago

I am incapable,
Incapable because my empty hands
No longer reach for a hammers,
Now they only reach for nails

Today,
Rubber burns like embers in the night
Filling the lonely air
Which, in return, fills my fading lungs

Spurned by the asphalt,
I sit behind the steering wheel
And turn my car around,
Without actually turning myself

So, I shake my head,
Tired, of endless parades
Tired, of the volume of silence
Tired, of staring at an empty canvas

Tomorrow,
I will close my eyes for once
And sketch daydreams forgotten
Buried beneath the sands of time
Jul 2021 · 92
Star-Craving Mad
Chris Thomas Jul 2021

Effortless
I am a freeform mystery
And I may never come home again

Treacherous
But I can no longer stand the waiting
Because these heavy pages will not turn themselves

Senseless
My rhythm is ridicule
But this world cannot confine me with its atmosphere

Perilous
They call me a dreamless dreamer
For beyond the sunset, I have been driven star-craving mad

Weightless
My burdens float away into deep space
But this is where my yesterdays become a crater

Ravenous
The aesthetics of the universe overtake me
And I have decided, I am never coming home again
Jul 2021 · 106
Sticcato
Chris Thomas Jul 2021


I listen for your symphony
In the wake of your departure

Sticcato

Long nimble fingers
Draw the bow across the strings,
While an arrow,
Doused in poison,
Brewed from the moisture along your lips,
Has been loosed
Whistling through empty air
It is true
I own no armor capable of deflection

Impaled

So I listen for your symphony
As I release my grip upon the world
Jun 2021 · 102
Ripple Effect
Chris Thomas Jun 2021
I don't know if my heart is ever not broken
I don't know if my eyes are ever not heavy
I don't know if my skeletons are ever on vacation

"Don't say such things," they say,
Like I am more than a ripple in a creek
"Don't lose hope," they say,
Like hope is something I ever had

I don't know if my dreams are ever not in black and white
I don't know if my feet are ever not blistered
I don't know if my skin is ever not faded

"Take comfort," they say,
Like it's part of some grander plan
"Count your blessings," they say,
Like math was never my worst subject
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