Never trust the mirror,
for it only shows what's skin deep.
It doesn't show how your eyes sparkle
when you laugh
or
how your laugh
makes you younger in so many ways.
It does't show the moisture your lips
glisten with
from the anxious biting
nor
does it show the creasing of your brows
in annoyance.
It doesn't show the flutter of your lashes
as you fall asleep
or
the way your hair frames your face
as
you light up the world with a simple
smile.
It doesn't show the posture of you body
as
you walk
or
the look in your eyes
as
you stare at your significant other.
It doesn't show you loving
or
your fleeting glances
of
pure admiration
or
even your look of raw anger.
It doesn't define you.

I wouldn't blame you for being so rude to me
I hate me too
I'm as dull as the pencil I write with.

Lifeless,
as if i was never alive.  I stare blankly into everything,
Don't you dare ask why;
I can not answer that question.

I used to laugh like a lunatic,
smile at everyone I see.
I used to be happy I guess,
when i was younger at heart.

I wouldn't say i'm completely lost in the dark,
i'll just say I have no map to happiness,
and I've lost my  only compass.

It's funny, i'm happy when I'm slaving away at minimum wage,
with a fake smile, that turns real.
A real smile that only my coworkers, and guest can see.
They see something I can never find at home,
my happiness.

Why?
Why can't I let go of old things?
something is holding me back from doing what will make me happy.
is it me?
of course, its me.