they told me that true beauty
came from within
so i tore myself open
and i slit my skin
i hoped that some beauty would leak out
but all it did was fill me with doubts
they lied to me
why would they do such a thing?
no beauty on the outside
and no beauty within
and all that was left of my ceaseless attempts
were my       u g l y     scars
lining my body, my heart and my head


**( c )

if it was destiny to meet
i will never  know
if it was hope to fell in love with you
i will never know

since you've fallen in love with me
please remember that
I'm going to crumble
many times
please remember that
i will mess up -- a lot
but i don't mean to
please remember that I may not say much
but I pay attention
to everything
please remember
not to yell at me
or I will cry
and tell you I hate you
and then I will quickly crawl into your lap
and beg you
to forgive me
because I don't
in the least bit
hate you
please remember
that I want to know everything about you
so I will ask a lot of stupid questions
like what your favourite smell is
and please remember
that I will remember what it is
it's an armoury, right?
so if it changes
please tell me
and please remember
that if it thunders
I will cry
and I will not stop
until it stops

And since you happen
to be in love with me
please remember that
I am broken
and I may or may not ever be fixed
please remember
I will probably have more bad days
than I will good
and that I will frustrate you so much
remember that I will cry
and scream
and throw things
such as pillows
at the wall
but also
please remember
that I love you
and will continue to
with every last  piece
of me.