I know this world doesn't deserve me,
But I love it too much
...and it loves me back.

I think this year is new to me in so many ways
I can recall my years worth of work
And I now realize why what I went through was what I actually wanted for myself
To be where I am now is why I didn't want to be where I was at
I am in tune with a lot of things
And when my soul is telling me this **** is wack I react
One thing I can tell you is
When you are trying to do the right thing
The wrong things are there to test you
"Is this really what you want?"
Because you will get it

When I become aware of my first breath in the morning
I Know He Loves Me
When the first ray of sun rests itself upon my cheek
I Know He Loves Me
When I hear my mother's voice on the other end of the phone
I Know He Loves Me
When I see my sister's nose scrunch up from laughter
I Know He Loves Me
When I feel the air fill up my body with His love
There is no doubt I live a blessed life

Slithery serpent
He did sneak up to my ear
Questioning my worth
That i had held so dear

His secret servants
Up close and near
Whispered for my soul
"Oh look what we have here"

A sweet, sweet kiss
Death's gift to me
He nudged my shoulder
Promising everything he could bring

We fought long and hard
I thought hard and long

When i wasn't thinking
He used this against me
Catching me off guard

All those years i ceased to slit my throat
Death was waiting to tip my boat

An angel on Earth caught me though
Before i went into the light
My mother held my soul

I am a passionate woman. I value myself for who I am and what I have been through. My mind is the most powerful thing and so I encourage growth. There is no beauty without pain. We do not know light without darkness. And happiness can only be seen through sadness. These are just fundamental things. But I believe knowing the strength in the essentials of life is key to internal contentment. I thank God for all things because I see and feel his work all around me everyday. When the sun shines, when I feel the air rush through my lungs when I run, and when I sit in silence by myself. I know I take this life for granted. So I am learning to listen better, pray a little deeper, and humble myself. To me nothing is a coincidence. He is listening and guiding me. Everyday I learn something new. Thank you than you thank you lord and may I keep my arms open to all your blessings.

She sung a sweet hum
You could ever hear so slightly,
The dewy sound
Heard like rain droplets, minus the lightening.

In the evening she drowns in oils,
Dancing to her home in the dim lighting.

Her love a vast jungle,
Those fear the secrets of the lush entangled vines
Which few find enlightening,
She gifts herself for growth,
But anytime someone enters they go hiding
She does not mind though,
For she knows it is simply up to timing
And so they walk away with love
While she sits there to watch, simply smiling.

Your parents do not love each other
but you love them both
Money is evil
When you have none
Suicide is real
When your father dreams about it
Being naked is all you know
When thats how you were born
Life is real

There once was a flower,
Things happened too soon
In less than a year,
She would be moved
A positive flower
watered with goop
roots were lifted
heart regifted
parents shifted
a problem...
The roots improperly planted
They grew side ways
They grew upside down
They even grew in the dark
They did not grow like all the others
But they did grow...
Confused
Why do I not smile when they do?
Why am drowning by the water when they grow?
During growth
She lost
And many other things
But most importantly her...
Confused
Did not really know what to do
But grow
She grew
But she could not forgot her roots
The ones that grew in the dark
The ones that tore her apart
There was no undo.