we sounded so much more beautiful last year
now we just sound like two animals
going at it

i've shut down
like a factory building typewriters or VCRs
you left a rotten tingling in my mouth
pepper-flavored rubbing alcohol
slap me like you check yourself out in the mirror
maybe that will set my brain back into motion
sparks and blue soda
i gave you too many chances to ruin my life
bald spots on my head
lungs black because you made me start smoking again
turn around
the back of your head is the only part that doesn't make me cry anymore
and yet it still does
build me up like legos and take me apart piece by piece
we had brooklyn and bagels and trains and hangovers and sheets
religious conversion was avoided
i just realized how unhappy i was with you
all of you
all of what you gave me
which was nothing
taker.
taker.

Give him his space
He doesn't like the attention
Even though that's how he pays his rent

He built an arena
Only lovers can fight.

I thought my armor was strong enough.

He lit that sword on fire and threw it to someone beneath him
As his eyes dilated from pleasure, watching me tear apart flesh in his honor.
In his name sake.

I arose.
******. Exhausted.
He clapped.
That's all.

I threw off the prize and laughed.
He is not my king anymore now.

soft lips wide hips small **** big heart short hair long love and patience

explore your nostalgia

only stretching and cooing once 11 am has rolled through like the rolling in bed we did the night before when the moonlight was stabbing through the blinds and reflected on my pear-white skin

your eyelashes make me smile when i think about them

walking alone in the middle of the day when i get restless and i need to just go

escape the lonely, overly warm air in the four walls i inhabit

why do I sweat and shake so much?
As I bite into apple skin

a familiar voice glossed with golden tone
completed with dollar store sparkles

we spent weeks building wooden block pieces in the image of our love

or i thought

i was that L-word that I can barely articulate anymore without laughing because it's all just a beautiful, stupid joke

we spin webs

naked in your resting place as I curl around like an ******* tentacle

you kiss me there
my legs embrace your shoulders
and that's when our eyes meet
a night of squirming finally consummated
by one morning of quick glance of brown and blue

"oh god" rolls off your trained vocal chords as you roll like a wave on the shore.'

we've lost ourselves in these moments of pure passion.
I want all of you all the time
Sweating,
Dizzy.
Completely disoriented.

Can we just spin together until we fall?

Summer:
He kissed me
Flashes of my past favorite things charmed those blue eyes
God
I still remember everything about us
Fresh fish on the grill
The first time you held my hand
We curled around each other's bodies like tentacles
We wanted every inch
Sweat
Harmonium on inside humor
You found me and I followed
The ring bells
Terms of endearment changed so drastically
He held her so gently that I melted like butter
Like what you would cook and we sweated until we kissed
An entire day downstairs and an entire night upstairs
No wonder I got so dizzy.
Finding ourselves becoming one.
Sharing clothes and teeth marks and hearts.
We were happy.
Once.

Fall:
The leaves changed.
So did we.
I over stayed my welcome.
Being swept out like the garbage below you.
Swish.
Swish.
Swish.
The inches between us in your bed
Complete with "Nightmare Before Christmas" print
Grew larger and larger
The unfamiliar faces began becoming your new candy
Apparently I wasn't dark, or sweet enough for anymore.

Winter:
On my knees
I never knew how terrible tears tasted
Begging you please
Slap Slap
I fell down a flight of stairs
You came with me, but only to use it for malice
Why?
How?
I never should've cared.
True love doesn't exist here.
Only long walks through the jungle
Giraffes walking around.
Long limbs. Long eyelashes. Long tongues.
That's the only freedom that exists.

Spring:
Where did these feet come from?
Suddenly I can walk by myself again.
Shaky.
My hands and back tremble from the weight of the world.
Atlas has not helped.
Surrounded by the ghosts of my past, and present.

Keep this for the motto girls:
"No one can have me like I got me."

fleeing what I thought I was born to do
in a place I thought I was born to be in

credit card declined
but $1500 cash in my wallet

He gives me spending money as we ride down a chrome lift
Squares.
Wide eyes.
Genuine smiles.
Personal anecdotes.
We take care of each other.

Glowing charisma draws me into this black hole of self-loathing
Why?

I change my terminology in order not to bruise egos
the sensitivity of the soul
the tears ducts
the corners of the mouth
the shoulders tensing
I see it all.

I see words
I feel actions
Merge.
Please.
Merge.

My eyes are so swollen from flowers
We surf the stars
Curves together and sincere glances
Held together by skin
Carved in marble and slashed in cardboard
Breaking wood and cerebral intuition
I can ******* own mouth and I feel you
Fangs out and fists bared
Partners in crime for only moments
And say "Shoot muthafucka"
I'm the only one with the loaded gun.