I'll never understand how you can say "I love you" and abuse the way you .

You suffocated me with pain and rage. You mercilessly violated me as easy as turning a page.

You mentally ***** me of all my worth. I'm nothing now, I'm trash. I can't escape my past.

I turn to the darkest corners of my mind to find the love you left behind. I find nothing but shame, nothing but blame.

Why did you make it unsafe to be in bed? Why did you make it unsafe to be in my head?

You say you're Christ-led but it feels like the Devil instead.

I've lost my innocence to your sin.
My sin.
Sin.

My soul is crushed, my body bares wounds from my rage as does the pen and the page.

My mind is my personal hell. All the painful memories, day in and day out. Who could I ever tell?

I do not want my tomorrow, I drown my spirit in depths of sorrow. Yet, still I remain. I go on to see another day, my frozen lips have nothing to say.

You stole my peace, my youth, my sanity. You were suppose to be noting more than my father, why did you hurt me? Torture me? Why did your course alter?

You were suppose to protect me from the monsters and goblins, too. How was I suppose to know the monster was you?

All I ever wanted was for you love me! ****! I NEVER wanted you to touch me!

You're just as evil as the thing you preach you hate. Don't you dare tell me you're sorry, it's far too late.

I'm tired of the head games, I'm tired of carrying the blame. It's YOUR turn to feel the shame.

I long to live in the world of blameless light. I know I can, it's my right.

I can't live in your torturing darkness, I've grown beyond this.

I'm starting to suffocate. I need to break free before it's too late.

I'm choosing me! You will be nothing but an after thought, a use to be.

You were suppose to protect me from monsters and goblins, too.

All along you knew...

The monster?

It's you.

Unspoken words have been stolen from my lips. 

My mind has been thrown into an everlasting abyss. 




I've been assaulted by pen and rhyme. 

I've been assaulted ...too many times. 

I've drown myself in a deep sea of my own making. 

I've sobbed for my sorry soul that's breaking. 

Do you think this makes me weak?

Do you think the makes me meek?

I've survived a burning hell on my own. 

Survival is in my fragile bones. 

I won't apologize for who I am. 

I've fought too hard for this life, the rest be ******!

I've earned this life I want t keep. 

I. AM. NOT. WEAK. 

Survival is the Lonely's song. 

To myself. I do belong.

The bottle and the pen.

The knife and the hands of men.

The sorrow.

The lost tomorrow.

The scarlet slashes on my thighs.

The alcohol laced goodbyes.

Crying is a sin.

More wounds from him.

Lessons learned in blood.

Innocence drug through the mud.

Let no one in.

I must not sin.

I reached capacity.

I can't take the insanity.

Forgive me, father, I have sinned.

He tells me there is no way to amend.

He ignores my cries.

He cares not if I die.

Spirits and pills call my name.

They tell me I am to blame.

I am my father's shame.

A mother's desperate chase.

My last chance at grace.

My mother hears my cries.

She helps, she tries.

She tells me it's okay to cry.

The sin is a lie.

She holds me tight

A mother's love saved my life.

I've lost innocence.

I've lost faith.

I've lost my soul to this dreary place.

It's so cold, it's so very dark.

My lonely heart has lost it's spark.

I beg for a little mercy.

I cry for some kind of grace.

There's nothing, not even a trace.

The hellish demons in my mind elope with the ever lasting darkness I've came to find.

The clock has chimed...

I'm out of time.