Am I just another fable to tell?
Am I to become a knick knack to put on the shelf?
I look for ways to tell you “I could learn to love you”
But I’m not that into love
Okay, excuse me
I’ve got a problem
I refuse to be used
I refuse to be used
I am the one who usually manipulates
I am the one who usually lures one in
I am the trickster
What has happened to me?
Where has my black hole of a heart gone?
What the **** has happened?
To be honest, I think I would actually be depressed if you dismissed me and my feelings
This is foreign to me
I don’t know what’s going on
I don’t want to become the fool
But I suppose that’s karma
I suppose after all this time of making men and women fall for me without an intention of catching them has caught up to me
I guess being a heartless *****
And the ***** has finally
Caught up to me
And the ****** up thing is when I am genuine, AKA now
It seems to always backfire on me for sharing how I feel
That’s how I got into a mess with my last relationship
I loved him more than he ever cared for me
I had a heart then
But after a while of things going to ****, you just stop loving and stop giving a ****
But here I am still naïve and gullible to these stupid sweet words
And here I ******* stand in the same position
Knowing there is someone that has a piece of his heart
Not too long ago either
I just don’t want this all to be fake
I couldn’t take a sick joke
Not again
I have to protect myself
But how does one do that when you just want to live in the moment
When you want to feel warm and giddy
How do you **** someone you want to make love to?
How do you stay away from someone so electric?
I’m in a horrible situation of disgust and distrust
I guess I don’t do as well alone as I ******* thought
But the good news is that I ran far, far away from my ex
I just wish he would ******* do the same
I want to be his
I want her to disappear
And maybe I am overreacting and freaking out too much
I mean, just last night, he reassured me
He called me “baby”
He told me I was what he wanted
He told me it would never work with him and her
I guess I should calm down
I guess I should stop thinking so ******* much
Being sober is great, isn’t it?
You get to feel all these ******* feelings you wish would shut the **** up
It’s like a constant war between heart and logical business
You know this is wrong
But you ignore the corrections
And then you have a conscience suddenly
When you used to not give a ******* **** about what you truly thought
SOBRIETY
Sobriety allows you to listen to your inner self and it is repulsive
**** pretty I’m gorgeous

I didn’t feel like a case until the psych asked me all these questions
How old were you when you began to use drugs?
When did your stepfather get inappropriate with you?
How old were you?
How do you feel?
Do you ever have racing thoughts?
Do you ever talk really fast while sober?
Do you sleep through the night?
She suggested I have bipolar tendencies
I feel a room in this body
She told me I may feel more sexually frustrated
I may feel restless
I may have more impulsivities
I’m ready to go
But I’ve got these little things that I’ve been running from
I either love or hate
Tell me right now
I want to know why you’ve got me going
And now I have these racing thoughts
I guess I suffer from these little things
I want to know why you’ve got me going
Let’s take it out of here
I think I’m ready to go
I think I’m ready for it
I’m ready to go
I guess I really do race
My heart explodes and beats so fast that sometimes I don’t know what the hell to do with myself
You are taking me apart
I only shoot up with your cologne now
And here I am composing a burlesque
Ever since we met
I only shoot up with your cologne
It’s the only thing that makes me feel as good as you do
I have no regrets
So far so good

It’s better to burn than to fade away
I taste you on my lips and I can’t get rid of you
Don’t forget who you are
If you change your mind, you know where to find me
What are your prerequisites?
Never did I think that I would be caught in the way you got me
Let’s get these hearts of ours and connect
Look at me
Listen to me
I’m here
You’ve grasped me and taken me into the depths of you
I’m buried but I have yet to suffocate
If I ever do
A lover on the left and a sinner on the right
Provoke yourself and give into my atmosphere
I am the raindrops and you are my sea
Invoke yourself before your head falls underwater
This is a casual affair
Well I never really thought you’d come tonight
I’ve never so adored you
Endless romantic stories
You never will control me
Until I complicate myself
Oral fixation or psychosis?
Until the cancer is becoming

The Penitentiary
Wreck my bed and take me into your embrace
Show me how to feel
Figure out my deepest
Destroy my demons
This is what I want
Rail me, fix me; rip me apart
**** me
Smooth over my edges and blemishes
This will never be enough
Once I taste you, I won’t stop chasing this unrequited love
Truly
Don’t you dare reprimand me
Don’t you dare

Your structure is statuesque and when I look at you, my eyes cannot fathom your contradicting perfection
You fool yourself into thinking you are far more flawed than I
It is the honest man you are that I cleave to
It is the sensitivity you possess that makes me feel like I don’t have to escape from my past anymore
And it is your heart that is laced with gold
In you, I have found a friend
You say that you want to go far away and you can trust me when I say I won’t be a catalyst in your desires
I’d favor being the one that gets to be your last kiss goodbye
You are utterly artistic when you smile
When you laugh
When you make me
When you are low and when you are high
This feeling towards you is purity and flows through me
You are electricity
You are the blood running through my veins
And I am never sad