It
Really
*******
Hurt
And
You
Don't
Seem
To
Notice.

You can't do this to me.
You can't let me fall for you.
You can't let me trust you if you're just going to take away the ******* safety net right before I hit the ground.
You can't ******* do that ****.

You can't say those words if you don't mean them.
You can't just lead me on.
You can't leave me alone.
You can't just let me lay in bed shaking and crying wondering what the **** I'm supposed to do now.
You can't.
You just ******* can't.

You said you'd never hurt me.
You promised everything would be okay.
But you were my everything.
You said you'd never leave.
But you did.
You ******* did.

Let me have another night with you.
I don't even want to have ***,
I just want to wake up next to you.
I want to hear your sleepy voice.
I want to tell you you're beautiful,
Every. Single. Morning.

I wanna binge watch Netflix shows,
And lay in bed with you all day.
I want to give you forehead kisses,
And see-you-later hugs (because I know you hate saying goodbye).
I want to wake up with you in my arms,
And let you fall back asleep in them at the end of the day.
I want to hear your sleepy voice tell me you like me,
That you really really like me.

I want you to mean it.
I want you to say you're falling too.
I want you to understand how scared I am.
I want you to know it feels so right.
I want you to kiss me again and leave me breathless.
I want you to miss me too.
I want you to want me.
I want you.
*Only you.

You know what I hate?
When you listen to a song and you completely relate.

How you play it over and over,
When you're going through a heartbreak.

& you expect it to help,
But you're slowly losing yourself.

(c.r.)

Here I am,
A whole week has passed,
And I'm laying in bed crying,
Because I finally realized that I could never call you mine again.

And oh my it hurts--
It really ******* hurts.

My stomach wants to eat itself because it's hungry for your touch.
My ears don't want to hear another word unless it slips out of your mouth.
My mouth doesn't want to move unless your lips are guiding it.
My eyes are tired of crying and are waiting on you to come wipe the tears away and hear the comfort of you saying "it's okay."
My heart doesn't want to beat anymore because my mind is telling it you're gone..

Here's to crying in the shower pretending you're okay.
Here's to holding it all together when you wanna throw it all away.
Here's to wasting nights thinking till 4am instead of going out with that girl.
Here's to breaking even though you know you shouldn't.
Here's to living when you want to die.
--
That day felt like your funeral.
That day felt like a poet trying to capture the perfect sunset when they couldn't fathom the right words.
That day felt like a teenager driving alone for the first time in Atlanta.
That day felt like your first heartbreak over and over.
That day felt like hell.
--
And I had to hold my breath when we drove by your road.
I had to smile when she said your name.
I had to laugh when I wanted so badly to cry.
I had to close my eyes and breathe when I wanted so badly to end it.
I had to move on when I wanted so badly to stay..
I had to, because if I didn't, neither would you..