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3.2k · Jul 2014
Paper Town Memories.
I live in this paper town,
And it's not the best place in the world,
But it isn't the worst either.
You could name any place,
And I can recall a couple memories.

But one day,
When I least expected it,
I met you.
We made memories everywhere,
And now I can't escape them.

I live in this paper town,
And there isn't much to do.
So when I'm lonely,
I just look up at the sky,
And think of you.

But, it scares me,
Because I know,
No matter how much I think of you,
Or how many memories I recall,
Of you in this paper town,

You.
      Aren't.
                 Thinking.
      About.
Me.
2.6k · Dec 2016
Planting Love Seeds;
this is all i know:
i love you like a flower. together we've planted the seed of love, and i can't wait to watch it bloom and grow with time. i know you can't grow without sunshine and rain so i'll be here for the happy days and the sad days.
i am so in love with you
1.5k · Feb 2015
My Addiction Was You.
When I smoked marijuana,
I thought I knew what addiction was like, but I was wrong.

When I drank *****,
I thought I knew what addiction was like, but I was wrong.

When I smoked a cigarette with my coffee in the morning,
I thought I knew what addiction was like, but I was wrong.

When I saw you I knew you'd show me what addiction was like,
and when I heard your laugh,  I thought *****, this must be what addiction is like.
I'm still addicted, and to you I'm just a girl you kissed once.
The difference in that, that's what kills me, because you're my addiction and I was your one night prescription.
1.5k · Jul 2014
You're The Girl.
You don't know who I am,
But **** I know who you are.

You're the girl that puts the sun to shame when you smile.

You're the girl that thinks fireworks are pretty, but **** they don't have anything on the light in your eyes.

You're the girl that laughs when the rain hits your face.

You're the girl that said hello, and I'm the girl that was too shy to say it back.

You don't know who I am, but you're the girl who stole my heart.
There's never a day that goes by, that I don't regret giving it to you. You've got my heart, and **** do I love you.
1.5k · Oct 2015
Dear Diary;
The Day Of:
Dear diary,
She broke up with me..

2 Days Later:
Dear diary,
What kind of person can love you so much one day, and then be head over heels for another the next?

2 Months Later:
Dear diary,
I still love her.

2 Years Later:*
Dear diary,*
She still loves her.
1.4k · Feb 2015
I Hope He Makes You Happy;
Five weeks ago you were in my arms.
Now you are in his.

I'm sorry I wasn't good enough,
But for me that wasn't just a kiss..

I hope he makes you happy,
If you give him the chance.

I know I never had one.
You made that pretty clear.

So I'll just stay tucked away in the friend zone,
Watching you chose him over me time and time again.
Holy **** it hurts so bad and I'm not okay.
Missing you comes in waves,
It's different every time.
I usually stay on the shore--
too afraid to embrace that you're really gone.
But sometimes I'll put my feet in,
and I'll find myself walking into the memory of us.  

Now I'm neck deep in the memory of us,
and the next wave is about to hit me.
I can see your smile,
and I can almost feel the warmth of your touch..
But then the wave swallows me,
and I find myself completely submerged in the memory of you.

I didn't mind drowning if it meant hearing your voice again.
I allowed the wave to toss and turn around me,
and pull me further under.
Then it hit me.
I remembered everything I had been trying so hard to forget.
It wasn't until that moment that I finally understood:
Loving you was like the ocean.
1.1k · May 2016
You Left Me;
If it's her and not me, go.
Please go.
Don't make this any harder.
My heart has been through tornados and tsunamis,
But nothing could prepare it for this.
For you leaving.
For this heartache.
For you choosing her over me.
Over
And over.
Again
And again.

If it's her and not me, leave.  
Take your bags and walk out the door.
But don't you dare look back,
You've left me before.
Without a doubt in your mind,
And I was a fool to let you back into my heart.
This time was the last time.
This is your choice.
You chose.  
It's her.
Not me.
So go.
1.0k · Aug 2014
I'm Tired Of Being Tired.
I don't care if I break as long as I feel something.
Cause just being okay, is not okay.
1.0k · Feb 2016
I Miss You
My hands feel empty without yours.

Laying in these empty sheets,

& I swear I can still feel your heartbeat.

I miss you, i miss you, I miss you.
975 · May 2016
Life Without You;
I love you.

And sometimes I wish I didn't.

Because waking up without you isn't the same.
Am I really sleeping if I'm screaming your name?
You're in all my dreams,
And I'm scared to fall asleep.
I don't wanna see you if I can't ever hold you again.

The last time I saw you,
You were out with your friends.
You completely ignored me.
It hurt all over again.
My bones rattled,
And my heart sighed..
When you walked away,
I died inside.

You left and didn't even take a glance back.
But I always check my mirrors when I'm driving.
Sometimes I see you behind me,
And I'll stomp the breaks.
Only to look up to see your face.
But then it vanishes,
Just like you did.
855 · Jul 2014
Untitled
You promised
f o r e v e r ,




                                 *Your definition of              
                                   forever was a lot
                                   shorter than mine.
851 · Jan 2015
Almost.
Almost* (adverb): not quite; very nearly.

Almost is the worse way to love.
He almost loved her. She almost loved him. It just won't ever be good enough.

I keep telling myself, maybe you almost loved me. Maybe that's why I still think I have a chance.
849 · Jul 2016
I Still Love You;
I ******* miss you.
There. I said it.
I hope you're happy to know,
if you came back,
I'd pick things right up where you left it.
845 · Mar 2016
Your Name
I mentioned her name,
and my bones rattle;
another piece of my heart falls to the floor.

*I remember when I could say your name without falling apart.
830 · Apr 2014
6 Word Story:
I was going to write a poem,
About the girl that first stole my heart..





But I can't find any words,
And thinking of you makes my heart hurt.



(c.r.)
I've been laying in my bed for quite some time now, and as usual I've been thinking. But this time it's different. It's not the happy thinking you'd think I was thinking. But it's the dark thinking that follows me like a shadow. I would never tell you this.
Just like I'd never tell you how I think about the nights we've spent together. Or that I'd never tell you I can't go to those restaurants anymore without seeing you there. How the park isn't a park anymore. How I can't even lay in my bed without thinking of the cuddles and hours we spent talking on it. But I'd never tell you that.
I'll never tell you how much I regret everything. I'll never tell you how I pull up a message to you, but I can't find any words to say so I just cancel it. If you ever text me I'll pretend to be happy, not to hurt you, but to help you move on. If you ever asked me how my day went, they're always slow and dead. I sleep a majority of the time an when I'm not sleeping I'm thinking of what we used to be and I'm crying. But I'd never tell you that, "I'm fine," I'd say. And it would break my f*cking heart to watch you walk away, but I'm the bad guy. So I'd never tell you that.
My stomach wants to eat itself because it's hungry for your touch.
My ears don't want to hear another word unless it slips out of your mouth.
My mouth doesn't want to move unless your lips are guiding it.
My eyes are tired of crying and are waiting on you to come wipe the tears away and hear the comfort of you saying "it's okay."
My heart doesn't want to beat anymore because my mind is telling it you're gone..
You're really gone..
745 · Aug 2014
Untitled
You never know a person,
Until you stay up until 4am with them.
738 · Jan 2013
Kissing Razors
I kissed the scars on her skin,
"I still think you're beautiful.
I don't ever wanna loose my bestfriend."
She looked at him with a cold expression..
Her gray eyes formed soft clouds of blue..

He spoke softly,
"I know what it's like,
To want to die..
How you try to fit in,
But just can't..

How you hurt yourself on the outside,
To try and **** the thing on the inside.."
His voice broke as he continued.
"You self destrutive little girl,
Pick yourself up.

Don't blame the world.
So you're messed up?
You'll be okay.
In the end it's a dream,
And it will all fade away.."

She drew in a deep breath,
The gray clouds formed in her eyes,
With a promise of hate..
She closed her eyes,
And choked on her words..

"You don't know what it's like,
To wake up in the middle of the night,
Terrified..
At the thought of kissing razors.."

She trailed off,
Lost in thoughts..
After five minuites of silence, she spoke..
"You don't know what i'm feeling inside.
It's amazing what a smile can hide.."

He eased back,
As if to examine her.
"Look at your cuts. Your burns.
Those bruises you gave yourself.
Each one is a battle with yourself,
That you lost.."

She replied witha simple line.
One he's remembered now for quite sometime..
"If you could read my mind,
You'd be in tears."

She smiled that twisted fake smile,
And walked out of his life..
728 · Dec 2017
Drunk Kisses
I kissed bottle after bottle
trying to forget how you tasted
next thing that I knew,
man, I was f^cking wasted.

Standing on a table
screaming at the ceiling
like "why the f^ck aren't you here",
and "why'd you f^cking leave me?"

Bottle after bottle
turned into shot after shot
but I can't forget you
no matter what.

I've read all the books
and I've seen all the "how to's"
but not one of them has helped me
get over you.

I'm trying to move on
and I'm trying to be happy
but no matter what I do
I still feel in love with you.
This is an old poem i wrote a while ago and never got around to publishing.
727 · Jul 2014
A Year Ago Today;
A year ago today,
We were laughing when we kissed.
Now it's like we're strangers,
& I don't exsist.

I see you in everything.
You're everywhere I go.
Reminding me that some things,
are better if you just don't know.

And now I'm scared.
Because I wish it was a year ago..
You just turned the other cheek,
When Cupid shot his bow.

(c.r.)
I was stupid to pretend I didn't care when you were breaking, because I was too. Now I'm shattered and I'm laying here, alone and without glue. </3
718 · Feb 2016
Grapes
I was in a museum, when I came across a picture of grapes.
I’d already seen thousands of other pictures but when I looked at this particular painting, I began to cry.
My heart couldn’t handle it, and no one else understood.
Why grapes? What was so **** particular about these grapes that made me cry?
Then it hit me. It all poured out of me like my eyes turned on a faucet.
******* grapes. I don’t even like grapes.
So why was I crying? I hated grapes.

*but you loved them
.
I do not want to be 18 anymore,
Because all I do is buy cigarettes.
& when I smoke them I think of you.

I do not want to smoke Mary-Jane.
Because when I'm high,
I still only think of you.

I do not want to get drunk anymore,
Because I'm tired of hearing my friends say "She's gone,"
Every time I ask to speak to you.

I do not want to stay awake all night,
And leave cuts on my wrists,
"I'm sorry," I'd say, "I was just thinking of her."

I never asked for this,
I try not to think about you,
So all I can tell myself is, "You left her."
I've never regretted something so much in my life. I'm broken, sorry.
673 · Dec 2015
Pulling The Pin
Loving you was like pulling the pin out of a hand grenade* then dropping it, and expecting it to not blow up in your face.
672 · Nov 2016
Garden Love;
before I met you I planted seeds
of self love in my heart
slowly growing,
slowly learning to love myself.

you made the seeds in my heart sprout
into beautiful flowers
that I had no idea I was capable of growing

so when you left
you picked through them
and took what you pleased.
you picked through my garden
and left me with seeds.
644 · Apr 2015
My Worst Nightmare.
Another night without you.
Another empty bottle.
Another burning cigarette,
Taking away moments from my life.

Just like you did.
You walked into my heart.
You ran your fingertips along my heartstrings,
And played me like a harp.

I should've seen it coming.
Isn't that cliché?
You came in and took my heart,
And I watched you walk away.

I could've maybe stopped you,
You could've maybe stayed.
But baby you made me  feel like everything was going to be okay..
But then you stole my happy ending,

You took it all away.
You made my life a nightmare.
That I relive every day.
637 · May 2016
You Broke Me;
Kick me in the chest,
It'd probably hurt a lot less.
Punch me until your knuckles bleed,
I'd still kiss your scars.
Yell at me until your voice shakes,
And then yell some more.
Do your worst,
And I'll still give you nothing but my best.

Because the last time that I checked,
*It wasn't you laying on the bathroom floor at 4am.
It wasn't you crying every night into the same pillow.
It wasn't you lying to your friends saying your fine.
It wasn't you using every 11:11 wish to be good enough.
It wasn't you wishing some nights would never end.
But it was you that said you'd be there just to leave again.
I wanna be close.
Close enough that our noses are touching and we're caught in that nervous moment right before a kiss.
That hanging space between kissing and about to kiss.
I like that space.
The space where I just lay my hand on your face and pull you closer.
I like that space.
I could be in that space forever.
The space where butterflies from my tummy fly out of my mouth like wildfire.
That space where I can feel your breath on me.
That space that's close, but never close enough.
I want to spend forever there with you, in that space.
Please, just take me away to that place.
627 · May 2015
Little Red Box
I once knew a girl
With a little red box.
Her eyes were full of tears,
And her mind was full of thoughts.

If you glanced at her smile,
You could tell she was alive.
But look a little closer,
Past the disguise.

I once knew a girl
With a little red box.
Razors and knives,
All way too sharp.

Long sleeves and hoodies,
Poems and thoughts,
She tries to hide it
But the memories can't be forgot.

I once knew a girl
with a little red box.
Eyes full of tears,
And heart with locks.
620 · Jan 2015
I Still Miss You.
I'm laying in bed a month after we broke up,
And I'm staring at the ceiling thinking about every time I kissed you.

And ****** I wish I would've kissed you longer.
I wish I wouldve held you tighter.

I wish I would've done a lot of things.
I'm just glad it happened in the first place.

But **** some nights just get me,
Holy **** do I miss you.
I miss you a lot.
615 · Jan 2015
But You Did.
You can't do this to me.
You can't let me fall for you.
You can't let me trust you if you're just going to take away the ******* safety net right before I hit the ground.
You can't ******* do that ****.

You can't say those words if you don't mean them.
You can't just lead me on.
You can't leave me alone.
You can't just let me lay in bed shaking and crying wondering what the **** I'm supposed to do now.
You can't.
You just ******* can't.

You said you'd never hurt me.
You promised everything would be okay.
But you were my everything.
You said you'd never leave.
But you did.
You ******* did.
598 · Jul 2015
you left.
I hope you're sleeping fine,
Because you're the only thing on my mind; it's always been you.

Lately I've wanted you to lowkey, but really highkey,
Get the **** out of my head.

You should know that this isn't a love poem.

This is a ******* poem.
A ******* poem for making me fall in love with you,

And ******* for making it impossible to close my eyes without seeing your smile.
******* for making me love that **** smile.

******* for making me fall for you,
And ******* for leaving.

******* for making me feel so ******* useful when you were here.
But ******* for making me feel useless when you left.

But you know what?
I hope you know I don't regret anything.

*I love you,
But ******* for making me ******* love you.
you. *******. left. me.
570 · Feb 2015
Untitled
You told me you didn't like my writing because it was sad,

But you still thought it was beautiful.

I hope that's how you feel about me.
559 · Nov 2016
Burning Love Letters;
i burned the notes you wrote me
just to watch the flame
The paper crumpled and fell apart
just like I did when you left.
You said I'm sorry..
And my heart dropped to the floor.

Though I didn't know the reason,
I thought, This is mental suicide, I can't do this anymore.

I wanted to know,
Why my insides started breaking.

You said two simple words,
And my heart stopped.

****, I thought,
*Maybe you do love her.
522 · Aug 2014
Please Don't Leave..
Hold me close and tell me you love me,

when my world is

f
  a
     l
        l
           i
              n
                 g

                           a       p       a       r      t     .
510 · Jun 2014
What is unconditional love?
I've always wondered,
          What it was like.
                To be loved unconditionally.

But no matter who comes along,
            They always remind me,
                There is always one condition.


                                                             (c.r.)
508 · Jan 2016
Smokey Hollow
Smokey Hollow;
It was a just a dead end road.

I fell in love with a girl,
who lived in the only house on the left.

But our love was dead end,
just like her road.

I used to love a girl,
who lived in the only house on the left.

Until our love dead ended,
Just like her road.
499 · Jul 2014
Yours.
If I could be anything,


I'd be yours.


*Every **** time.
494 · Jun 2014
You.
You've consumed my thoughts for so long I don't remember how to think without seeing your face.
Is it really better to have loved and lost, than to have never loved at all?
488 · Jan 2013
Thoughts..
The thoughts were rushing.
Pouring out like music in a song,
  Except,
   I dont know the lyrics.

Looking in the mirror,
Why do I look away so quickly?
  I hate who I am.
   That's why.

The depressing thoughts rush back,
They taunted me.. Do it, do it, do it..
  I was scared to talk back to them,
  My voice started to shake..

"I'm so tired of this,
I don't want to hate myself..
  I'm tired of pleasing other people.

I'm sick of not knowing who I am."

I threw the razor across the room.
It hit the wall and fell..
I stared.. blankly,
at the scars on my wrist..

The scars that were there..
The scars that wouldn't fade..
The scars that were now encouraging me,
I smiled..

As I whisperd,
ever so softly to myself,
*"You will never win again,
I'm through dealing with you..

Dealing with this.
The stress.
The pain.
The tears.

I'm done.
I quit.
You will never win,
ever again.
486 · Jan 2015
My Nights.
My nights consist of getting drunk and typing up messages to you but immediately erasing them. I could drown in a bottle of tequila and still only see your face.  

My nights consist of smoking **** so loud I can physically feel my heart echoing against my rib cages trying to escape this hurt you left me in.

My nights consist of razors so sharp that when they open my wrists they also open my eyes allowing the tears to fall.

My nights consist of many things that use to help me forget you, but are now a constant reminder that this hurt will never go away.

*My nights consist of missing you.
452 · Apr 2015
*rant/personal*
You're out drinking with your friends,
& I'm at home remembering how it felt to cut again.

I know it's dumb and I shouldn't do it,
But holy **** I've never felt so alone.

*you're getting drunk and I'm watching my arms bleed.
432 · Jul 2015
I Fucking Miss You.
There's a hole where you use to be in my heart;

Tonight it busted open and I don't know how to close it anymore.
You left. How the **** can someone just walk away and make it look so easy?
I met a girl today.
It was the first time we've ever met.

Our conversations were deep,
And soon we found ourselves talking about our pasts.

And she asked me:
"Have you ever been in love? Because I've loved people and people have loved me, but I don't think I've ever really been in love."  

I just sat there.
Thoughts of us came pouring in my mind,
Soon it showed out my eyes as well.

She asked me:
"What's wrong? Are you okay?"

I looked up at her,
and answered her question with one word:
Yes.

And she understood exactly what I had to have been thinking about.

Soon after she asked:
"Does it hurt? You know..thinking about her?"
I responded with a simple: "**** yes."

What else could I have said?
It was the truth.

We met each other for the first time,
And the whole ******* time I was thinking about when it was you and I meeting for the first time.
426 · Mar 2016
I Miss You
I need your hands in my hair,
and my lips on your skin.
I need to feel you,
I need to breathe you in.
416 · Nov 2011
One Day.
One day...Everything will change.
One day...We will be alone.
One day...The world will turn against us.
-Turn against forbidden love.-

One day..True love will be lost.
One day...Everyone will die inside.
One day...You will question yourself.
-Question your existance-

One day...The world will start turning.
One day...You'll give out your last breath.
One day...You will die.
-And so will I-

When that one day comes..
When you are free of any burden..
When you're free from yourself..
-Will you be ready?-

The answer is yes.
The answer is always.
The answer is forever.
-The answer is forbidden love..-
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