Carlie Richardson: Poems

Mar 2020 · 206

Carlie Richardson Mar 2020

my
only
  wish
   for
    you
     is
      that
        you
          get
            exactly
              what
                you
                  deserve

#ex #wish #deserve

May 2018 · 194

A Break

Carlie Richardson May 2018

A Break

we’ve been dating a year and a half.

she said she wanted a break.

it’s ******* breaking me.

UGH.

Dec 2017 · 249

Winter Is Coming

Carlie Richardson Dec 2017

Winter Is Coming

it's crazy what a year and a half can do.

one minute i'm digging a hole,
ready to toss myself in and give up on you.
on us.

and the next minuite i'm back down on the ground.
only now i'm planting beautiful flowers over the grave of what we used to be.

i buried you deep in that soil.
i'll admit i still water it.
i still keep the weeds out of it.

but winter is coming,
and all i know is that i won't be there for you when it's cold.
just like you weren't there for me.

idk honestly what this is. just decided to try and write some tonight and this came out. i hope you guys enjoy.

#cold #winter

Dec 2017 · 728

Drunk Kisses

Carlie Richardson Dec 2017

Drunk Kisses

I kissed bottle after bottle
trying to forget how you tasted
next thing that I knew,
man, I was f^cking wasted.

Standing on a table
screaming at the ceiling
like "why the f^ck aren't you here",
and "why'd you f^cking leave me?"

Bottle after bottle
turned into shot after shot
but I can't forget you
no matter what.

I've read all the books
and I've seen all the "how to's"
but not one of them has helped me
get over you.

I'm trying to move on
and I'm trying to be happy
but no matter what I do
I still feel in love with you.

This is an old poem i wrote a while ago and never got around to publishing.

#love #hate #you #her #drinking #*****

Dec 2016 · 2.6k

Planting Love Seeds;

Carlie Richardson Dec 2016

Planting Love Seeds;

this is all i know:
i love you like a flower. together we've planted the seed of love, and i can't wait to watch it bloom and grow with time. i know you can't grow without sunshine and rain so i'll be here for the happy days and the sad days.

i am so in love with you

#love #garden #her #you #plant #seeds

Nov 2016 · 675

Garden Love;

Carlie Richardson Nov 2016

Garden Love;

before I met you I planted seeds
of self love in my heart
slowly growing,
slowly learning to love myself.

you made the seeds in my heart sprout
into beautiful flowers
that I had no idea I was capable of growing

so when you left
you picked through them
and took what you pleased.
you picked through my garden
and left me with seeds.

Nov 2016 · 567

Burning Love Letters;

Carlie Richardson Nov 2016

Burning Love Letters;

i burned the notes you wrote me
just to watch the flame
The paper crumpled and fell apart
just like I did when you left.

Oct 2016 · 394

Nightmares;

Carlie Richardson Oct 2016

Nightmares;

I hope you see me in your dreams
and I hope it ******* haunts you.

#dreams #you #me #broke #haunts

Oct 2016 · 390

A Forever Thing;

Carlie Richardson Oct 2016

A Forever Thing;

cause every night you know I lay awake,
don't you?
and every night I need an escape.
it's true.
and every night it's hard to take.
but
it's just another pill to swallow.
and I
wake up next to empty bottles.
i miss you.
i don't ever know if I'll ever see tomorrow

so I

take one for the team
and I
lay awake and watch you dream
cause girl I love you laying next to me.
push the hair out your face;
I'll never get tired of your make up on my pillowcase.
me & you together
it's a forever thing

Jul 2016 · 849

I Still Love You;

Carlie Richardson Jul 2016

I Still Love You;

I ******* miss you.
There. I said it.
I hope you're happy to know,
if you came back,
I'd pick things right up where you left it.

#love #i #the #you #miss #same #things #ugh #arent

May 2016 · 975

Life Without You;

Carlie Richardson May 2016

Life Without You;

I love you.

And sometimes I wish I didn't.

Because waking up without you isn't the same.
Am I really sleeping if I'm screaming your name?
You're in all my dreams,
And I'm scared to fall asleep.
I don't wanna see you if I can't ever hold you again.

The last time I saw you,
You were out with your friends.
You completely ignored me.
It hurt all over again.
My bones rattled,
And my heart sighed..
When you walked away,
I died inside.

You left and didn't even take a glance back.
But I always check my mirrors when I'm driving.
Sometimes I see you behind me,
And I'll stomp the breaks.
Only to look up to see your face.
But then it vanishes,
Just like you did.

#love #heartbreak #sad #you #me #disappear #left #leaves #ugh #everyone

May 2016 · 637

You Broke Me;

Carlie Richardson May 2016

You Broke Me;

Kick me in the chest,
It'd probably hurt a lot less.
Punch me until your knuckles bleed,
I'd still kiss your scars.
Yell at me until your voice shakes,
And then yell some more.
Do your worst,
And I'll still give you nothing but my best.

Because the last time that I checked,
*It wasn't you laying on the bathroom floor at 4am.
It wasn't you crying every night into the same pillow.
It wasn't you lying to your friends saying your fine.
It wasn't you using every 11:11 wish to be good enough.
It wasn't you wishing some nights would never end.
But it was you that said you'd be there just to leave again.

#love #heartbreak #leave #crying #wish #you #me #left #leaving #broke

May 2016 · 1.1k

You Left Me;

Carlie Richardson May 2016

You Left Me;

If it's her and not me, go.
Please go.
Don't make this any harder.
My heart has been through tornados and tsunamis,
But nothing could prepare it for this.
For you leaving.
For this heartache.
For you choosing her over me.
Over
And over.
Again
And again.

If it's her and not me, leave.
Take your bags and walk out the door.
But don't you dare look back,
You've left me before.
Without a doubt in your mind,
And I was a fool to let you back into my heart.
This time was the last time.
This is your choice.
You chose.
It's her.
Not me.
So go.

#love #heartbreak #not #her #you #me #left #leaving #ugh

Mar 2016 · 845

Your Name

Carlie Richardson Mar 2016

Your Name

I mentioned her name,
and my bones rattle;
another piece of my heart falls to the floor.

*I remember when I could say your name without falling apart.

#love #broken #heart #i #falling #her #you #apart #name #ugh

Mar 2016 · 297

Dear Garden Lover,

Carlie Richardson Mar 2016

Dear Garden Lover,

You're tearing me apart
Do you love me
Do you love me not?
Picking at the petals of my heart,
And you're sitting in the garden
wondering why I'm starting to rot.

Mar 2016 · 223

.

Carlie Richardson Mar 2016

.

You're going to break my heart,

and I am most definitely going to let you.

Mar 2016 · 426

I Miss You

Carlie Richardson Mar 2016

I Miss You

I need your hands in my hair,
and my lips on your skin.
I need to feel you,
I need to breathe you in.

#love #need #you #here #miss #feel

Feb 2016 · 1.0k

I Miss You

Carlie Richardson Feb 2016

I Miss You

My hands feel empty without yours.

Laying in these empty sheets,

& I swear I can still feel your heartbeat.

I miss you, i miss you, I miss you.

#love #bed #empty #hurt #hands #i #her #you #miss

Feb 2016 · 718

Grapes

Carlie Richardson Feb 2016

Grapes

I was in a museum, when I came across a picture of grapes.
I’d already seen thousands of other pictures but when I looked at this particular painting, I began to cry.
My heart couldn’t handle it, and no one else understood.
Why grapes? What was so **** particular about these grapes that made me cry?
Then it hit me. It all poured out of me like my eyes turned on a faucet.
******* grapes. I don’t even like grapes.
So why was I crying? I hated grapes.

*but you loved them

.

Jan 2016 · 268

// You \\

Carlie Richardson Jan 2016

// You \\

// And I know it shouldn't hurt this ******* bad,

but you're the best ******* thing I ever had \

Jan 2016 · 508

Smokey Hollow

Carlie Richardson Jan 2016

Smokey Hollow

Smokey Hollow;
It was a just a dead end road.

I fell in love with a girl,
who lived in the only house on the left.

But our love was dead end,
just like her road.

I used to love a girl,
who lived in the only house on the left.

Until our love dead ended,
Just like her road.

Dec 2015 · 681

Pulling The Pin

Carlie Richardson Dec 2015

Pulling The Pin

Loving you was like pulling the pin out of a hand grenade* then dropping it, and expecting it to not blow up in your face.

#love #ugh #grenade

Dec 2015 · 273

You Left;

Carlie Richardson Dec 2015

You Left;

I screamed your name into the rain,
and the drops echoed inside me.
Laying in the middle of the road,
Waiting for a sign--for any ******* thing.
But it didn't come, and nothing could numb the pain.

I could've wrote a book on how I felt for you,
And I flinch every **** time I hear your ******* name.
Oh but babygirl,
I found ways to numb the pain.

I never found you in any of those ***** bottles,
And I didn't find you swimming in Smirnoff (even though that was always your favorite),
You weren't at the end of the blunt, so I passed it only to search for you at the end of a different one.

You weren't in my pain pills,
And you weren't in my puke the next morning.
You weren't even there when my blood ran crimson across my arms.
I tried to cut you out of me,
I tried to burn you away.

You said you'd always be here,
But you never ******* stayed.

Dec 2015 · 264

She Did Everything You Never Did

Carlie Richardson Dec 2015

She Did Everything You Never Did

She bought me roses and I named each flower.
She always smiled whenever I would look at her.
She touched me with cold hands, but made my heart warm.
She held me when I cried, and said her love for me would never die.

She didn't make promises she knew she couldn't keep.
She held my face when she kissed me, as if she couldn't get enough of me.
She drew on my back and kissed every freckle.
She didn't always know what to say, and that was okay.

She loved me unconditionally--and this I always knew, she reminded me of everything, you never seemed to do.

She swears up and down, her love for me is true, and that is something you could never do.

Oct 2015 · 1.5k

Dear Diary;

Carlie Richardson Oct 2015

Dear Diary;

The Day Of:
Dear diary,
She broke up with me..

2 Days Later:
Dear diary,
What kind of person can love you so much one day, and then be head over heels for another the next?

2 Months Later:
Dear diary,
I still love her.

2 Years Later:*
Dear diary,*
She still loves her.

#love #isnt #up #it #its #dear #diary #kinda #fuxked

Oct 2015 · 214

F*ck You

Carlie Richardson Oct 2015

F*ck You

One day I will have drank enough ***** to fill the hole you left in my heart when you walked away.

Until then I'll drink until I can't remember your name.

Oct 2015 · 183

Untitled

Carlie Richardson Oct 2015

Untitled

Blood is red,
My knuckles are blue,
I thought you were different..
I'm such a fool.

Oct 2015 · 1.2k

Loving You Was Like The Ocean

Carlie Richardson Oct 2015

Loving You Was Like The Ocean

Missing you comes in waves,
It's different every time.
I usually stay on the shore--
too afraid to embrace that you're really gone.
But sometimes I'll put my feet in,
and I'll find myself walking into the memory of us.

Now I'm neck deep in the memory of us,
and the next wave is about to hit me.
I can see your smile,
and I can almost feel the warmth of your touch..
But then the wave swallows me,
and I find myself completely submerged in the memory of you.

I didn't mind drowning if it meant hearing your voice again.
I allowed the wave to toss and turn around me,
and pull me further under.
Then it hit me.
I remembered everything I had been trying so hard to forget.
It wasn't until that moment that I finally understood:
Loving you was like the ocean.

Sep 2015 · 429

What The F*ck Is Wrong With Me?

Carlie Richardson Sep 2015

What The F*ck Is Wrong With Me?

I met a girl today.
It was the first time we've ever met.

Our conversations were deep,
And soon we found ourselves talking about our pasts.

And she asked me:
"Have you ever been in love? Because I've loved people and people have loved me, but I don't think I've ever really been in love."

I just sat there.
Thoughts of us came pouring in my mind,
Soon it showed out my eyes as well.

She asked me:
"What's wrong? Are you okay?"

I looked up at her,
and answered her question with one word:
Yes.

And she understood exactly what I had to have been thinking about.

Soon after she asked:
"Does it hurt? You know..thinking about her?"
I responded with a simple: "**** yes."

What else could I have said?
It was the truth.

We met each other for the first time,
And the whole ******* time I was thinking about when it was you and I meeting for the first time.

#love #sad #friend #thinking #new #**** #you #ugh

Aug 2015 · 216

I F*cking Miss You

Carlie Richardson Aug 2015

I F*cking Miss You

Most days I can go without thinking about you,

*But other days you hit me like a wrecking ball,
and I'm on the floor --
All I can feel is my heart break all over again.

Jul 2015 · 598

you left.

Carlie Richardson Jul 2015

you left.

I hope you're sleeping fine,
Because you're the only thing on my mind; it's always been you.

Lately I've wanted you to lowkey, but really highkey,
Get the **** out of my head.

You should know that this isn't a love poem.

This is a ******* poem.
A ******* poem for making me fall in love with you,

And ******* for making it impossible to close my eyes without seeing your smile.
******* for making me love that **** smile.

******* for making me fall for you,
And ******* for leaving.

******* for making me feel so ******* useful when you were here.
But ******* for making me feel useless when you left.

But you know what?
I hope you know I don't regret anything.

*I love you,
But ******* for making me ******* love you.

you. *******. left. me.

Jul 2015 · 432

I Fucking Miss You.

Carlie Richardson Jul 2015

I ******* Miss You.

There's a hole where you use to be in my heart;

Tonight it busted open and I don't know how to close it anymore.

You left. How the **** can someone just walk away and make it look so easy?

Jun 2015 · 275

The Text I Never Got

Carlie Richardson Jun 2015

The Text I Never Got

I had a dream that you finally texted me, and I was so excited.
Until I read it.

It said: I'm in love with someone else.

And I woke up sweating.
My chest ached,
and I felt my heart break all over again.

Jun 2015 · 225

F*ck This.

Carlie Richardson Jun 2015

F*ck This.

I'm tired of waiting by my phone for a text.
It's been almost two weeks.
You never replied and left me dying on the inside.
And now what?

*Do I wait for a love that cannot be full for another two years?
Or
Do I leave the best love I've ever had?

Jun 2015 · 225

...

Carlie Richardson Jun 2015

...

I remember when
we couldn't keep
our hands off of
each other,*

                                   *And now we don't
                                          even make eye
                                                      contact.

May 2015 · 627

Little Red Box

Carlie Richardson May 2015

Little Red Box

I once knew a girl
With a little red box.
Her eyes were full of tears,
And her mind was full of thoughts.

If you glanced at her smile,
You could tell she was alive.
But look a little closer,
Past the disguise.

I once knew a girl
With a little red box.
Razors and knives,
All way too sharp.

Long sleeves and hoodies,
Poems and thoughts,
She tries to hide it
But the memories can't be forgot.

I once knew a girl
with a little red box.
Eyes full of tears,
And heart with locks.

Apr 2015 · 372

You Are My Home.

Carlie Richardson Apr 2015

You Are My Home.

Your voice sounds like home.
You are my home, and baby I've been so homesick.

Apr 2015 · 644

My Worst Nightmare.

Carlie Richardson Apr 2015

My Worst Nightmare.

Another night without you.
Another empty bottle.
Another burning cigarette,
Taking away moments from my life.

Just like you did.
You walked into my heart.
You ran your fingertips along my heartstrings,
And played me like a harp.

I should've seen it coming.
Isn't that cliché?
You came in and took my heart,
And I watched you walk away.

I could've maybe stopped you,
You could've maybe stayed.
But baby you made me feel like everything was going to be okay..
But then you stole my happy ending,

You took it all away.
You made my life a nightmare.
That I relive every day.

Apr 2015 · 304

Last Night

Carlie Richardson Apr 2015

Last Night

She was tangled in my sheets,

But you were on my mind.

She was there because you couldn't be.

I said your name instead of hers--and she left,

And I didn't mind.

Holy ****,

I think I love you and that scares the **** out of me.

& Baby, now you're going to hate me for doing this to your tender heart.

I can't do this anymore and I'm falling apart.

We aren't dating, but you're all that I've got..

*and I can't even have you.

I ****** up.

#personal

Apr 2015 · 293

Not A Damn Bit.

Carlie Richardson Apr 2015

Not A **** Bit.

I was driving down the highway in the rain,
when it hit me.

I had pandora blaring through the car,
And I found myself thinking about you.

And I thought, why the **** won't you stay out of my head?

Then it hit me that perhaps I missed you.

And perhaps I do.
But holy **** do I wish I could say I didn't.

Because you don't miss me--

Not a **** bit.

Apr 2015 · 452

*rant/personal*

Carlie Richardson Apr 2015

*rant/personal*

You're out drinking with your friends,
& I'm at home remembering how it felt to cut again.

I know it's dumb and I shouldn't do it,
But holy **** I've never felt so alone.

*you're getting drunk and I'm watching my arms bleed.

Mar 2015 · 240

Love Isn't So Bad;

Carlie Richardson Mar 2015

Love Isn't So Bad;

You love me.
I know this for sure.

You took all my broken pieces, and fixed what I had.
You make me realize that love wasn't so bad.

You constantly remind me that you love me,
every. single. night.

You know that nights are bad,
And you know that you are all that I have.

When I think of the future,
I no longer remember the past.

Even though night after night,
It could be our last;

Thinking of you makes me realize--
Love isn't so bad.

For Her.

Feb 2015 · 1.5k

My Addiction Was You.

Carlie Richardson Feb 2015

My Addiction Was You.

When I smoked marijuana,
I thought I knew what addiction was like, but I was wrong.

When I drank *****,
I thought I knew what addiction was like, but I was wrong.

When I smoked a cigarette with my coffee in the morning,
I thought I knew what addiction was like, but I was wrong.

When I saw you I knew you'd show me what addiction was like,
and when I heard your laugh, I thought *****, this must be what addiction is like.

I'm still addicted, and to you I'm just a girl you kissed once.
The difference in that, that's what kills me, because you're my addiction and I was your one night prescription.

Feb 2015 · 287

Valentine's Day

Carlie Richardson Feb 2015

Valentine's Day

Who needs a Valentine when I have *****?

Feb 2015 · 237

How?

Carlie Richardson Feb 2015

How?

How do you sleep at night knowing you're the reason behind scars on someone's body?

Feb 2015 · 1.4k

I Hope He Makes You Happy;

Carlie Richardson Feb 2015

I Hope He Makes You Happy;

Five weeks ago you were in my arms.
Now you are in his.

I'm sorry I wasn't good enough,
But for me that wasn't just a kiss..

I hope he makes you happy,
If you give him the chance.

I know I never had one.
You made that pretty clear.

So I'll just stay tucked away in the friend zone,
Watching you chose him over me time and time again.

Holy **** it hurts so bad and I'm not okay.

Feb 2015 · 570

Untitled

Carlie Richardson Feb 2015

Untitled

You told me you didn't like my writing because it was sad,

But you still thought it was beautiful.

I hope that's how you feel about me.

#sad #beautiful #writing #ugh

Feb 2015 · 247

Make A Wish

Carlie Richardson Feb 2015

Make A Wish

It's 11:11,

You wished to be happy,

But I wished to be good enough;

& that's the difference between us.

Feb 2015 · 358

You Say I'm Heartless;

Carlie Richardson Feb 2015

You Say I'm Heartless;

But I left before I could hurt you.

Feb 2015 · 218

Why the fuck would you say that to me?

Carlie Richardson Feb 2015

Why the **** would you say that to me?

What if you're right?

What if I can't love?

What if I only needed you when I'm lonely?

What if I don't love her?

What if I'm just "lonely" again?

Then what the **** do I do?

You said I was just lonely and I ******* believed you.