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Carl Webb II Aug 2018
the moments that I see before my eyes before I die
are most important.

just think about that for a second, if you don't mind.
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once you've signed the death agreement
and taken in the light, before the total darkness . . .
they say, a movie plays that's just for you.
a movie about you, made by you.

pause, right here, for another second, if you don't mind.
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when movies play, they do not include
the entire lives of those that are portrayed.
they include the pieces that tell the story the best.

now, let us continue.
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an­d, when this movie plays - the movie that was
made for you, by you -
it does not last for seconds, minutes, hours,
days, weeks, months, years, like your life did;
it lasts as long as you can remember.
and memories die, so . . .

pause, once more for me, please, if you do not mind.
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memorie­s die. if you do not think
about the times that you've had.
the times that you lived and you laughed,
the times that you cried,
the times that you felt . . .
if you do not remember the past,
you will only be left with the present.
just think about that.

and, then, we'll proceed to the end.
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. . .remember each moment again and again
and again. and, when your life's movie is starting to end. . .
you'll be satisfied and able to go home in peace.
but, until then, please . . .

just remember each moment.
Carl Webb II Aug 2018
the soil of Mother Earth
seeps through to my skin
and I accept every last bit
because it's truly necessary
-------------------------------------
for me to just continue to lay here . . .
and to be able to feel the . . .

Earth family...accept every last bit of me...

and allow me . . .to just lay here . . .
and to be able to feel . . .
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perhaps, acceptance
just might be the key
to what is concealed.
i finally feel real
Carl Webb II Aug 2018
"tread slowly. tread slowly.
'tis unholy to see freedom.

look around you. look around you.
see the world and all its bleeding.

say your prayers. say your prayers.
say your prayers with your eyes open.

don't lose focus. don't lose focus.
we are only what we notice."
Carl Webb II Aug 2018
dressed in all black with a spirit to match.

brilliant scenery trapped
beneath the  surface of obsidian.

a haunted cave, a burning light,
enchanted rock, undying flame,
ignite the chamber, start again.

ignite the chamber, start again.
a spark is all it takes
Carl Webb II Jul 2018
soft grass in a field,
golden sun in the air,
fair weather in the atmosphere,
no annoying bugs.

I am miserable.

I thought this field was able to support me,
and I thought that natural light was truly colorless,
and I didn't think that anything in life was really fair,
but, I still wanted all the bugs to be my friends. to shake it up a bit.

I curse the world for voting all at once.
the green grass, the golden sun, the blue sky,
the disappearance of foreign bodies. this world
already had a preconceived idea of what
a perfect world was like.

it's like I chose to be eccentric. like you all decided
differently from my decisions. making me the villain

but, this is my life.
and I cannot do what is wrong.
meaning, I am not capable of bending to your rules.
my senses do not react to this universal stimuli
in a universal way. I am an individual. I react
individually.

and, so, every part of this human being reacts individually
but, decides, as one, that each of those reactions
needs to be included in this body. that each part is worth working with
to make it all work. together. as one.

that's the way it should be. . .
  Jul 2018 Carl Webb II
Left Foot Poet
for Tascha

deep in the pond of unhappy, swimming,
drowning the next contemporaneous
depression thought quickly swallowed,
desperation in quick glances everywhere,
dawn is no consolation but just another
daily drawing tighter of twine cutting
disillusionment


dear god, commences every thought,
delayed answers have yet to arrive,
**** the deity's non-responsivness,
dare not say out loud lest,
deserved fates be worse, be realized,
didn't know? how can that be?
disguiser par excellent, I am the original
deceiver

But I never think about

death or dying, for that would be
defeat finale, a statute to, a status of none, a
destiny some wick spark, still insists can be
deferred

differed always,
diffidently, but grasping yet at the
double entendre that is my
dark vision of a future already past

May 2015
may 2015, back when I could write...
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