sometimes i fade away into empty bottles of ***,
and unsmoked cigarettes.
instead of fading away into your arms.
i find this quite sad

you have my hands tied back with a thin silk rope.
you tighten this rope when you feel me slipping from you.
i even has a name.
love.

your devotion to me was transparent.
your heart ached for me.
your eyes pursued me.
you were in everlasting love with me.
until he caught your eye.
and i became nonexistent.

I use to have a paper doll
once upon a time.
She had bubble gum matted hair
and veins filled with turpentine.

Her dress was made of Percocets
that went past her knees.
She spent her time smoking cigarettes
to medicate her anxiety.

My paper doll began to fade
as the hours drifted by.
Her rainbow became dull and gray
and I began to wonder why.

It could have been the cigarettes
or the Percocets she took.
It could have been the anxiety
from the harsh judgmental looks.

My paper doll is gone
and I miss her every day.
I wish she was still here with me
and she didn't fade away.

your name is
forbidden in
my mouth
or in my heart
because when
i think about
you;

i'll cry a little more,
hurt a little stronger
love a little softer
because you no longer
make me feel sober

i'm drunk on the
memory of you