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When they leave, they always ask me
Why my mind can’t seem to stand
the way they speak of love so easily.
I've tried but I start bleeding, choking,
losing touch with where I am
and where I'm going.

Empathy confuses me, and it hurts
because I want to tell you about the place in my head
that thinks only of you,
but it exits my mouth with my breath and dissolves
and my voice seems to leave me,
and then they all seem to leave me,
and I'm left with nothing but
silence.
---
I don’t deserve your affection.
I never once did, in fact.
My hands are much too belligerent
For an old, gentle soul such as yours.

Carelessness and disregard drove
A catastrophic downfall
On my behalf.

For words my heart has spoken
While omitting conscious thought,
I have carried the burden of remorse
In a tightly sealed backpack that
You filled with the sky and the ocean.

The very thought aches
Inside my bones and under my skin,
That I’ve crushed the only tower I’ve ever built
With my bare hands,
While picking apart my thoughts
In disorientation and resentment.

Though I was never able to pick apart the sky,
I have found the stars elsewhere.
I can only hope that you find yours too,
Because the ones at night tell our stories
Better than we ever could,
And those stars will always be ours.
Always.
K
I wonder if the sea can feel the tension
Between animated words
That can no longer be heard,
But only said.
Is the emptiness enough
To drown the ocean itself
In pity and remorse,
while father time paces
In humorous strides?
Caspian feels no sympathy
And carries the burden of loneliness
With pride and honour,
Conscious power,
Hungry, sour.
Distance
 Nov 2014 Cameron Haste
Shanijua
The whole world stopped
when you took your first
breath.
Greedy claws cannot claim ownership
Of a stagnant heart.
One who cannot feel, cannot be owned
By an affectionate other,
Who sees all but the blood
Trickling down stained walls.

I’ll place death between my lips
Before allowing the death of another.
I’ll offer to hand over each breath until there are no more
Before I take the breath of a grieving life
I will not listen to muttered howls
Or tolerate gratitude for phony medals around my neck.

I will never defeat paralysis
Nor will I slaughter yours.
I bear no swords or heroism
I merely count the phases of the moon as it passes
I am brittle, I am incompetent,
And I am content, as I expect no more.

These walls are fading, finally,
As all others do
Eventually.

I want what I can not have.
I can not have what I want.
I can not want what I have.

A lost cause.
I do love myself,
But I do not recommend doing the same.
For I am a stagnant heart
And I no longer feel remorse.

Cover your eyes and flee;
The villain has red-stained lips
And she functions in ways
even science can't fix.
Daunting voice, you possess
Dressed the ghost in pasty bed sheets
Bleeding lips, livid soul
I must get out; I mustn't feel like this

Clouds of grey infection
Cough echoed hallways
As ripe as a golden apple
That rests in the palm of your hand

Shrieking imagery, but
Always safely hidden
400 thread count sheets, and
Hands made of silver

The sky is speckled with
Cheap glitter again.
Fingernails stained yellow
Eyes complying with gravity

Alleviate; please be serine, lovely
I almost neglected to recall
Yellow grass between toes;
Fallen trees forming obstacles

Lips on skin
Thighs and torso
Walls and doors
Breeze in windows

“I’m madly in love with you”



“Some people feel like they don’t deserve love”
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