Is god punishing me? A string of twisted truths.

A feeling of numbness with sharp bursts of pain, intertwined with goosebumps, a cold sinking feeling.

How does one determine something forgotten in the past as a history, when feelings are still vividly aware and controlling the same enslaved mind for years upon years.

Is there any escape?

What is between Dawn and Dusk?
What is the difference between hate and lust?
Why does the sun burn so bright?
Why do I question internal might?
Who is it I to decide my fate?
Who is it that confirms me late?
Where is the promise land?
Where can I grasp the creators hand?
When will my broken heart mend?
When will this pain end?

Nobody wants to live.
Everybody wants to die.