I was down.

And so I decided I needed flowers.

But not roses. Because roses have thorns.
And I am so sensitive lately.

I decided, not mixed flowers.
Because I’m mixed up.
And I need to stabilize.

I decided, not tulips.
Because tulips droop.

I decided,
I need gerbera daisies, bright.

Because gerbera daisies stand upright.

And so I bought some
in a wonderful shade of Fuchsia.

I try so hard
Just see
The light,
But it's not
Always there,
Inside.
This curse
Never subsides
As if a brick
Subsisting
Forever
Preventing
It from
Being Found.

Blessings
Are
All
Around.

If only
Emotions
Weren't bound.

They unfolded
More and more...
Her wings
Separated
Naturally
On a
Hot, summer day;
No more.

Chrysalis faded,
As she surged
Forth,
Monarch landed,
On what was
The caterpillar's
Sustenance,
It once nourished
New life.

Short lived
In stages,
Then:
Winter's face emerged,
Early that year.
We saw our
Breath in
The air,
"Look,
What is there?"

Behind the
Frozen Lake,
"Here lies
The Monarch.
May she rest in peace."

Motionless in an
Icy tomb,
It looked like
She was captured,
For nature's
Museum
Across
A flower' s
Bloom.

No longer
Gliding-
Only to die
In the blink
Of an eye.

Our time here,
Doesn't last long.

Say no more...

Is she somewhere
Flying?
Bright and Free,
Dancing in
A world
Beyond belief?

Say no more.

An opaque
Film
Covers
This bridge,
Lit throughout
With many shades
Of imaginary.

Close your
Eyes,
And pretend
Just this once.

Looking
Upon
Its features
With childlike
Wonder.

Remembering
When
We were younger.

Dancing in
The rain
Despite the
Lightning and
Thunder.

Playing in
Daylight outside,
With grasshoppers
In the mud.

Making forts
From nothing but
Sticks
And twigs.

Swimming in
A creek,
Feet against
Smooth rocks,
Skinned knee,
Little minnows
Swimming,
Feeling free.

Slowly
Unbolted,
An aperture
Inside.

Mind.

A rift
Settles
In.

There is
No measure
Of seconds,
Or hours.

Time.

Finding
Reassurance
In
What billboards
Display
As
Happiness.

Everywhere,
Every time.

Running, running, running;
You can't leave this world.

Behind.

Feeding,
So blind.
Constantly
Monitoring
Others.

Lives.

Judging blindly;
To take a glance
In the mirror.

Sometimes.

Knowing
It's a
Far
Cry
From
Circumstances.

Here.

Is that what
Brings
Us closer
To finding
What we
Seek?

Displayed
In the form of
Material
And Physical
Things...

Nothing in
This
World,
Can
Satiate.

This aperture.

See.

Capturing
Shadows-
Quickly
Fading,
Not concrete.

They melt
Into
A moving
Spring,
Floating
Petals
Above
Your feet,
Enlightened
By
A realization
Misunderstood.

The only
Way
To cope,
Is not
To falter
From
The
Never-ending
Numbness
Of ego,
Altered
In this
Present
Moment.

It's all
In
What you
Believe.

Undergoing
An original
Way
Of
Seeing,
A purpose
Among
The vines
Growing,
To find
That
There is
No
Clarity
Until
Finding
Inner peace.

If you
Don't want
All of me,
I can't
Give you
Part of me.

It's
The only
Way.

I feel
It beating,
Breaking,
Before beginning.

No one should
Settle,
For less
Than
A loving
Heart
And
Open arms,
That don't
Leave you
Out
In the dark,
Searching
for a spark.

Slipping
Into my
Own soul,
To find
A place
Distant,
But it's
Filled
With light,
Ever persistent.

I feel like I have lost my words.
Once they flowed so easily
Time has ripped my mind from the flow of my mouth.
I fell in love with a someone else's soulmate.
I became selfish and jealous and pushed myself to a point that my words became useless.
When you choose emotions over words instead of bringing the two together
you create a self destructing version of yourself that lives on the outside while the true version of yourself watches on the inside.
Hiding writing is the hardest thing I chose to do with my life
I would look around at creation and say to myself, 'that's nice.'
Only my insides are screaming, 'describe it! write it down!'
Or something dark would encompass my being and instead of fighting with a pen, I cowered, crumbling.
I allowed myself to be swallowed, digested, and even parts left behind, scattered around a crime scene where my words made a difference
Instead I chose a cowards way, pretending I was incompetent
And my words slowly dwindled down as short as I could possibly make them.
One day, I saw a baby chicken have a seizure, and I started to cry. And as my tears flowed, I thought to myself how would that chicken describe me ?
It seems extremely odd I know, but in that moment I couldn't think of a single word. My lungs tightened as I continued to hold this now lifeless creature.

Lifeless
Breathless
Speechless