She never knew.
She never knew the hand that man touched me with.
She never saw.
She never saw the eyes of my father glistening with alcohol.
She never heard.
She never heard the names my brother would call me when I got home.
She never felt.
She never felt the shattering of my heart.
The thundering pain of a thousand words like bullets through my spine.
The weight of expectations just ready to crush me.
She never knew.

Nice blue sky
Puffy white clouds
The sun is blinding me.

She saw shadows when she walked.
They moved underneath the darkness.
She was the only one who saw them.

She heard ringing in her ears.
A monotone an octave higher than the voices around her.
She was the only one who could hear it.

We were friends.
She changed.
I didn't.
Enough said.

If you hear a phrase too many times it just becomes white noise.
If you say the same thing over, and over again someday you'll forget why you say it.
If you feel the same thing enough times you tend to not feel it at all.
If you go to the same place every day you become blind to your environment.
If you stay underwater long enough you forget how to breathe
And if your heart dies everyday you don't remember what it's like to live.
I know.
I know that if I remember my past it is still my present.
But I know that if I forget my past, then I won't know where I've been.
If you sleep too much, you won't know when the dream ends.
And if you never sleep, you think life is one long nightmare.
Know this:
There is a difference between heaven and hell.
There is a difference between a dream and a nightmare.
There's a difference.
I just know there is.

One, She grew up in a nice home.
He grew up on the street.
She ran playfully across her yard.
He ran to get away from the cops.
Two, the night of the school dance her heart got broken.
The night he picked up a gun, his soul was lost.
She swore herself off of men for as long as she lived.
He swore himself off of heartbreak for the moments he had left of his.
Three, Something happened and made him stop for just a moment.
Something made her remember what her mama told her.
"Don't be afraid."
She realized that's what it was.
He noticed that's what it was.
Four, a week before graduation.
She found herself looking at a painting one of her classmates had made and she dreamed about life in the picture.
He walked down the hallway and saw a girl looking at his painting.
Five, It's the day of graduation and she's nervous as hell.
He on the other hand knows he wants to go to art school.
She sits next to a boy waiting for her diploma.
The boy glances at her and notices she was the one who saw his painting in the hallway.
Six, the two had said hello.
Her hands were shaking
His voice stuttered.
But they were both exited to finally meet one another.
"Hello."

She burned
Herself
Into
Ashes.