i've been spinning in circles
my days passed like the breeze
being now on my own
i do mostly what i please

problems still exist
just neatly tucked away
eventually i'll solve them
but i'll get there some other day

i'm not trying to care
i don't want to over-think
after all, that's what got me here
so now i'll swim or sink

tomorrow isn't promised
so today i have spun and spun
what a charming kind of waste of time
while my world has come undone

this is just me, just who i've been
really since i can't even remember when

taking the time, falling from grace
nothing i do can rewind or erase

hands cold, walls breathe, bones become tired
in the life of a space cadet, there's extra care required

i've hit the idle hour, the need to get outside my head
can't do what i want so i need to go to bed

my restless mind wanders, shifts through shades of gray
turn the brain off, doesn't work like it used to anyway

it's the way i feel around you
it's static, it's tangible, and endlessly there
with these souls like magnets
the bond could cut the heaviest of air

our beautiful whirlwind
struck down too soon
it was devastating, impossible
nothing was left to ruin

four broken years
the absence too great
our stars crossed over
it was never too late

more years together
life wished us true
now, again, challenged
please trust what we have to do

i can't predict the future
i won't know the end
but there's science to us
and we don't have to bend

reason your mind
and tread with your heart
we built this life covalently
and entropy has yet to keep us apart

quite some time ago
i wrote and wrote and wrote
it's the only way i'd let the true ache show
i let it spill vapidly across the page
releasing my teenage demons from their cage

i stopped caring for words when the drugs took over
the daily project to not be sober
no more worries and riddled with lies
like ophelia drowning obliviously
no longer caring what lives and who dies

now ten years later, let's try this again
back to my soul, find out who i am
maybe i still exist
somewhere deep down
a sliver, a sparkle, or gleam
maybe just some whisper of sound

this is my journey
to write my life into new
scribble out this disease
and abandon it too
after all, i'm everything my life can be
my world can't exist if there is no me

it's simple, really:
don't worry about what is ******
then, and only then, will you not self-destruct