Today the rain pours
As I wait for my shift to begin I sit in my car
My hair is wet, I'm nursing a deep wound
Which will become yet another scar

I cracked open the window to my heart
Ever so slightly
Reluctantly to allow a warm island breeze to roll in
Instead I experienced a turbulent wind

I let my guard down like never before
I opened the door
Thinking we were something more

Now I sit confused and disheveled
Face full of tears
An emotional flood
Perhaps it was I who misunderstood

You see, I took your word as true
Rememer, those three little words you spoke?
"I love you"
Empty now they seem
Extrodinary how a heart changes so quickly
I'd like to make this break clean

The last words spoken by you the other night
Do you remember the ones after the fight?
"This is me giving up for now
I'll talk to you tomorrow babe, I love you
Good night"

Those words gave me false reassurance
As these arguments are a regular occurance
You'd tell me time after time
"Babe we'll be fine"
Why on earth did I believe that line?

My own stupidity
Has gotten the best of me
As I delusionally imagined how truly loved by you I'd be

As with protocol you told me to go
So I gave you your space
That is our bi-weekly flow
But you changed entirely
You didn't call like you said you would

Colder than the deepest ocean
You tell me now,
"We're not together so what does it matter?"
To this I reply "I love you"
And then your harsh words cut me like a knife
"I don't, we are done"
You love me no longer
The heartless tone said all I need to know

I don't understand what happened but it did
The trust I worked so hard to release to you after months
Is shattered and jagged on the floor

Some people go through lovers like water
But that is not me,
I let people in very selectively
When I love, I love truly and deeply
Sometimes months, even years, go by
Before I'll look a man in the eye

I know with time, I'll be fine
You'll move on and forget my face
Rise to fame and bring pride to your family's name
But I'll always keep my door open just the same

So for now I sit and wipe away my tears
Recounting the steps as I reel from the shock
Of something seemingly small that has ended it all
I have to put on a happy face
As I enter the workplace

The world is new
Stained with swirls
Of sky blue and pink
and lit up
By thousands of
Glowing stars.
I am its spectator
Eternal and unafraid
Reassured
As it is familiar to me
Like a daydream
And it welcomes me
Like an old friend
Holding my hand
In the darkness.
Arriving as quickly
As a thought
And dissipating as quickly
As a thought forgotten.

A Blank paper has unlimited possibilities
When you write,
Its like re-creating yourself
Mind connects with the page
All the thoughts spread in a meaningful order...
Writing may be a diminishing art,
But whatever you write..
It stays eternal and cant be destroyed..
If i paint my feelings on paper,
Like a portrait..with light and shade
Would you hang it on your wall?

Your gift to me
Was a wilted flower
In spring
When the new buds were growing
Stronger and more beautiful
Every day.
Your gift to me
Was salty tears
Hot and fast
Falling down my cheeks
Like an avalanche.
For you, I learnt
How to appear nonchalant
When my heart was breaking,
My brave face cracking
Like plaster on a wall.
You gifted yourself regret
Learning that green grass
Surely wilts and browns in winter
But sand and sea remain
A constant in the ever changing.
I will turn my tears
Into salt water
Powerful waves
That will carry and support me.
I will not drown you, my love
But I will no longer be your life raft
As you are only a boy
Not a puppet master.

Long curly hair, afloat in the breeze
short,swift glances
and a deep longing to meet yours;--
-No!
I refuse to fall for you again.
Red full lips, parted;ready to speak,
dry parched throat, denies such action-
-I said, 'No' .
Faster and faster races a shattered heart,
shards clawing on the inside; but you advance nonetheless.
and then... a deafning silence.
come hear the sound of my breaking heart,
come feel the cold raging inside,
come taste the sorrow I now hate.
Is it possible you heard?
That you felt ?
That you tasted?
Is it possible that--
Gentle hands caress me,
And a wamth engulfs what little frame i have;
silencing the screaming winds.
Deep brown eyes wander accross my still face,
finding what exactly; I'll never know.

you can poke your finger into the fabric of space
hold a distant star on the palm of your hand
tell someone they are loved unconditionally
until you are blue in the face
but until they accept love is the only true reality
they will never accept love is unconditional.

In the late night light
of the bedroom lamp

you watch me watch you
undo your favorite dress;

you don’t stop until
the garnet necklace

around your neck
is the only thing

left in the world for me
to touch that is not you.

Fate is hidden written in the book
Palm takes from some uneven lines
Some jugglers play with being crook
Extract some meanings from mines

Whatever written either good or bad
Makes but destiny, destination clear
At times if known makes one just mad
Creation of God to Him near and dear

Faith is solace in this very difficult case
God is savior under all circumstances
He keeps His creation just face to face
Sparingly offers but very many chances

Full servitude brings all clear freedom
Man is vicegerent he must know to glow
Life is a stream from path troublesome
Man is a swimmer with flow he is to flow

Col Muhammad Khalid Khan
Copyright 2017 Golden Glow